Selling something that I gave for free

[Wilberforce2]

Just been on Fb and a family member has shared a link from a selling site to a really nice piece of furniture that I gave them last year. Furniture was hardly used but when my step son moved in it wasn't big enough so I gave it to family member and we bought a new one. They now obviously don't want it anymore and are selling it for £100, I don't expect any of the money because if I wanted money I would have sold it but I can't help thinking you shouldn't sell something that someone gave to you for free? I would have preferred her to give it away to someone else or to charity.

AIBU or not?!

My sister has given me loads of her kids toys since I had my babies. Now they are growing out of the stuff I'm selling it. But I'm giving her the money.
Kind of cheeky any other way frankly.

Yuck. Can people really not see what's wrong with this? YANBU.

How strange, I give plenty of my kids stuff to my sisters. It's a gift (and a way to get rid of them to be fair), not a loan. It's no longer about me once they have them, they are free to dispose as they wish, otherwise I would not have given them in the first place.

You gave it to them so it's theirs. They decided to sell it which is up to them because it's theirs. Maybe they need the money.

It would be different if you'd given it to them last week, that would be a bit cheeky.

YABU. Its been year. You state, you gave it to them. If you were loaning it for as long as they needed it, thats a different matter. After a year of use if it doesnt meet their needs surely its theirs to do as they please with.

I loaned some bigger baby items after DS1 to family, on the understanding if there was any life left after use, they'd come back my way incase I had subsequent DC.

A friend of my sisters gave me two dresses. I politely accepted. They were borderline my style, but I felt I may get some use from them and it was a nice gesture to give them to me.

A few weeks later she informed me that they weren't to be sold on. Fair enough.

A few weeks after that, a suggestion of charity shops she felt were appropriate and ones that she didn't want them going to (on the understanding this was after I was done with them, I hope).

Next came the 'I'm aware you sell some stuff on ebay so I'm watching your account and dont expect to see the dresses'. I gave them back at that stage. Very stressful 'gift'.

It is rude not to ask if you wanted it first.
We had all sorts (chairs, changing table etc) given to us by friends, I used to ask if they wanted it back before getting rid of anything. Most said no thanks, a couple of things were taken back and used by other family members.

Do people feel the same way about other things they gift? Like birthday presents? Christmas presents?

Such a weird way of thinking. Gifts aren't loans.

Rude! I would first offer it back to the person that gave it to me or if they didn't want it I would tell them I'd sell it and give them half the money

It's really not logical, and you did give it to them so it IS theirs. However, I do understand why you're irked by this.
This reminds me of something I saw on a community facebook page the other week. Someone was selling a ticket to an event - They posted a photo of said ticket and it big bold letters it clearly said 'FREE' on it!
Needless to say there were a fair few comments (and no offers) regarding this

People do this all the time with unwanted birthday/Christmas gifts.

I had this for an item I had leant...... yes just loaned her until she could afford her own. I saw it on a Facebook selling page. I had to message her and say you had only borrowed it and obviously you don't need it anymore can I have it back. She's no longer a friend.

Gifts aren't loans.

No, they are given in good faith with thought and consideration - not as commodities to be traded.

As it was only given to them last year I think the right thing to do would be to let you know they no longer need it and offer it back to you. Personally I think they should at least give you half the money they get for it but if they didn't offer it back first I suppose they are unlikely to offer any money either.

I agree with the bad karma thing.

Rude imo. In their shoes I'd have told you I no longer needed it, and taken your lead on what to do with it. Return/sell/donate.
Had you not given it to them as a favour, you'd have been making the money instead.

Yuck. Can people really not see what's wrong with this? YANBU

I can't see the problem. This has happened to me a few times over the years. To me it's a win win. I've got shut of something I don't want anymore and couldn't be mithered with selling i, someone else has had good use out of it ( they've had it a year in this case) and now they are moving it on and it's not going to end up in a landfill.

I don't give stuff away with a load of clauses attached to it. Once it's gone it's out of my sight as far as I'm concerned.

I agree that it's a bit cheeky. Obviously it's theirs to do what they like with, but it's a bit 'off' to then make a profit from your gift.

Next time make sure they know your gift comes with strings attached.

I can understand and personally would never sell a gift.
I would let them know that you are aware of it and perhaps there might be a logic explanation.
That way the air is at least cleared.

I think it's mean of them though technically a gifts a gift. 🤷🏻‍♀️ If they were more thoughtful they would have asked you and offered you half the cash. You could have then declined the money but wouldn't have felt annoyed and they would have still got the cash

Curious on others thoughts on something similar that happened to us. We were clearing a lot of furniture that we no longer needed - some to an auction house and some to a charity that we support.

We asked a close relative, who happened to be be visiting, if there was anything they thought they could use. They took a few things and we heard no more. Roll on four months and we happen to see one of the items for sale on an antiques site. Apparently the relative had decided they didn't want them when he got them home after all and had sold them. Cheeky or not?

Its rude not to ask you first when it has been such a short length of time since you gave it to them. I would expect them to offer it back to you first, stating if not they'll sell it - to give you the option.

@bearstrikesback for me, thats cheeky. They were offered items for their use. They didn't make use of, so should have contacted to discuss their intentions.

I think it's downright cheeky to do this. I'd be furious. Phone them up and say I presume you will be donating this money to charity.