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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

NDN, shared driveway and bin - aibu?

95 replies

sailorcherries · 23/08/2017 14:04

I've posted about my NDNs before and how they let their dog run through our garden (new build and fence/garden gate isn't completed yet), in to our house and pee on our front and back grass.

I've let that slide, while being annoyed, but this level of pettyness takes the piss. NDNs have a bigger and wider drive than us (see picture), and usually park both cars side by side.
DP and I park one behind the other, as is the only way on our drive. Our driveway is quite narrow and so I'd park further over, but still on my drive, to ensure DS7 could open his door without banging it off the side of the house and to let me open thw other door enough to get the car seat for our newborn in and out. This meant me standing for a minute or two on the top of both possibly with one foot in their drive a foot in mine, with the door opening over theirs. They have never had an issue and have regularly walked on our drive if needed, to retrieve stuff from the passenger side of their car.

NDN has now taken to putting her bin right on the border of both drives (see purple box) meaning I need to park further over to open the car seat side door properly, leaving DS7 little room to get out without my door scraping across the wall. She has actually witnessed DS trying to squash out as a result of this.

Now I've mever got annoyed at their dog, never been an arse about them walking over our drive, them having slabs sitting half on their drive and half on ours.

Am I being unreasonable to be quite annoyed and this fairly obvious, and petty, blockade over a pretty non issue?

NDN, shared driveway and bin - aibu?
OP posts:
Original poster
sailorcherries · 23/08/2017 14:06

Sorry for typos, bloody phone!

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 23/08/2017 14:06

Talk to them. Ask if they could put it elsewhere. If not, get them to move their patio slabs and kick off a bit about the dog.

RedBlu · 23/08/2017 14:35

Your drive set up is similar to ours, although ours isn't technically a shared drive, they are close together as the divider is just a border of pebbles the length of the drive.

Anyway, we have the bigger drive and are able to park cars side by side, whereas the house next to us has a much thinner drive, so thin in fact that I don't think there is any way they can park and not have to walk on our driveway.

I will freely admit, occasionally it does bother me as it's is our property and sometimes it's not just stepping on our drive but basically using it as a short cut to the back gate, etc but I am also aware that their drive is stupidly thin, there realistically isn't a way it can be avoided. I could be petty and put stuff down the side of our driveway but then it would cause them issues getting in and out of the car and it's really not worth the hassle.

I would ask her if she can move it, however I guess if it's on her property she could refuse.

krustykittens · 23/08/2017 14:45

I would kick off. And if they weren't reasonable about the bin, I would start to kick off about everything. They were taking the right royal piss letting their dog roam about your property (and in the house?! Is that right?) and you said nothing. They clearly don't give a shit and think you won't say anything no matter what they do. Also, build lots and lots of fences. Good fences make good neighbours. As do penguin bollards! Grin

Original poster
sailorcherries · 23/08/2017 14:59

Thanks everyone, OH is telling me to let it go but he isn't the one dealing with two kids and bashes car doors on a daily basis.

My das has told me to purposely tip it over when it's full and windy out (it's a garden waste bin) and make sure it ends up across our drive and then complain/make them clean it, as it's their fault for leaving it there.

Yes the dog runs through my back garden, as there is no fence and gate yet, and when my back doors were open she ran straight in. She also ran in my front doors and scared my house cats to the point that one refused to move off the top of a wardrobe for the rest of the day.
She also lets the dog out for a wee unsupervised in the rain and it, inevitably, uses our grass as she shouts when it tries to go on her own!

OP posts:
krustykittens · 23/08/2017 15:45

Your latest update proves they are anti social dickheads - they will take the piss more and more if you keep staying quiet. The dog running through my fucking house would have had me spitting bullets, I think you have been far too nice!

RainbowPastel · 23/08/2017 15:46

You shouldn't be stepping on their land at all. Their bin is on their own driveway.

Original poster
sailorcherries · 23/08/2017 15:58

I do understand that Rainbow. At most one of my feet may have stood on their driveway and half a car door (both in areas they don't use) may have crossed over.

My point was whether I was being unreasonable at being annoyed over the purposeful positioning of the bin in an attempt to stop that very small use of their drive and air space, considering I've been reasonable about their lax dog supervision.

OP posts:
Original poster
sailorcherries · 23/08/2017 16:00

Honestly, if our drive were a parking space out and about I'd ignore it as it's too tight.

OP posts:
notanotherNC · 23/08/2017 16:02

The dog and the bin are separate issues. If you don't want their dog in your garden, you need to tell her it is unacceptable or put up a fence. If your neighbours want to put a bin there then they can.

RainbowPastel · 23/08/2017 16:02

It doesn't matter how big or small their drive is it's their drive not yours. You shouldn't be using any of it ever. You will have to park further over. Imagine there is a brick wall there.

Starlighter · 23/08/2017 16:03

Could you maybe have a chat with them? Something along the lines of:

"So sorry, I hope you don't mind me stepping on your drive briefly sometimes, it's such a nightmare getting out the car with ds and baby, would be so grateful, thank you, you're a star, etc, etc..."

Sometimes people just like to be asked and tend to agree to anything if the person is asking in a polite and nice way. I think loads of disputes could be solved by just talking about it nicely. Obviously, some people are just arseholes but this might be worth a try in your case.

HiJenny35 · 23/08/2017 16:03

What will saying something achieve? It's only going to cause more bad feeling. Put a gate up to stop the dog. They are being dickish however they can put whatever they like along their boundary because it's their land and you shouldn't be going on it. With my kids I get the baby out and get older daughter to jump into the front and come out the same side front seat, at that age she's flexible enough to do it with ease.

Madwoman5 · 23/08/2017 16:11

Reverse in and bring them all out of one side or drop them off at the front then go to the tight bit or convert your front lawn to parking. Get onto the builders re the fences and stop the rat pissing on your lawn. If the dog gets onto your side throw an empty bottle part full of dried peas nearby. It will soon get the hint.

Original poster
sailorcherries · 23/08/2017 16:11

Yes the dog and bin are separate issues. However I'd argue that one is much more serious than the occasional foot on their driveway.

I was asking whether being annoyed at the pettyness is being unreasonable, considering I've been more than friendly despite the dog and despite them also occasionally standing on our driveway to access one side of their car or walking right across the drive ans front grass to walk the dog.

It's more the passive aggressive behaviour and the double standards.

I also shouldn't need to put a fence up at the end of my drive to stop a strange dog coming in to my house because they don't supervise it.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 23/08/2017 16:14

If you don't want their dog on your property - understandably so - you have to say something to them. Or you need to put a fence up to stop it, if you have not said anything then how are they supposed to know it's a problem?

The bin thing may be petty but it's their property so as petty as it may seem if they don't want you stepping there then try not too

Jedimum1 · 23/08/2017 16:15

Get fences, that slab over your drive might end up being an issue when selling / proving who owns that bit / is making your drive even smaller. If you fence gardens and drive, there's no more who goes over which drive. Get a nice one, decorate with hanging flower baskets, whatever, but get the fence!

Original poster
sailorcherries · 23/08/2017 16:16

As for the dog we have a fence separating both gardens, theirs is enclosed and we still have it open where it meets the drive. They let it rub around the front of the house which is how it gets in.

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 23/08/2017 16:17

Put a fence up.

But yes, yabu to object to someone leaving their bin on their own drive.

Original poster
sailorcherries · 23/08/2017 16:18

The slab is a pile of loose paving slabs stacked against their fence but lying slightly in to our drive.

I'm ever so slightly tired and annoyed at the dent in my door this caused the first day. The annoyance will soon pass.

OP posts:
Original poster
sailorcherries · 23/08/2017 16:19

You cannot fence down the drive. It is obe monoblock drive with a small grey border about 2cm wide separating ours and theirs. If the border is removed the driveway slabs will move.

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 23/08/2017 16:20

Can you not build a wall on top of it? Take the separating blocks out to put the foundations in?

SandunesAndRainclouds · 23/08/2017 16:20

Do they even realise the bins are causing a problem?

Sirzy · 23/08/2017 16:21

Can you not just stop your car higher up the drive while the 7 year old jumps out with instructions to wait by the front door while you pull the car up the drive?

SerfTerf · 23/08/2017 16:22

Oh nice space invaders aesthetic to that diagram Smile

So they don't have a front lawn, is that right? But you do?

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