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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

NDN, shared driveway and bin - aibu?

95 replies

sailorcherries · 23/08/2017 14:04

I've posted about my NDNs before and how they let their dog run through our garden (new build and fence/garden gate isn't completed yet), in to our house and pee on our front and back grass.

I've let that slide, while being annoyed, but this level of pettyness takes the piss. NDNs have a bigger and wider drive than us (see picture), and usually park both cars side by side.
DP and I park one behind the other, as is the only way on our drive. Our driveway is quite narrow and so I'd park further over, but still on my drive, to ensure DS7 could open his door without banging it off the side of the house and to let me open thw other door enough to get the car seat for our newborn in and out. This meant me standing for a minute or two on the top of both possibly with one foot in their drive a foot in mine, with the door opening over theirs. They have never had an issue and have regularly walked on our drive if needed, to retrieve stuff from the passenger side of their car.

NDN has now taken to putting her bin right on the border of both drives (see purple box) meaning I need to park further over to open the car seat side door properly, leaving DS7 little room to get out without my door scraping across the wall. She has actually witnessed DS trying to squash out as a result of this.

Now I've mever got annoyed at their dog, never been an arse about them walking over our drive, them having slabs sitting half on their drive and half on ours.

Am I being unreasonable to be quite annoyed and this fairly obvious, and petty, blockade over a pretty non issue?

OP posts:

Original poster

sailorcherries · 23/08/2017 16:28

They have a front lawn off to the other side plus a larger drive at the front of the house and garage. We have that one drive and small lawn at the front. Our grass isn't even enough to convert in to a space.

If they had asked I wouldn't be as annoyed at the pettyness of it. It was the coming home to a purposely placed bin which has remained in that position since Sunday which I found a bit odd.

OP posts:

bellaboo101 · 23/08/2017 16:32

The dog thing obviously really irritating, I'd be getting the fence sorted ASAP, is there an alternate bamboo type cheap fence you could put up in the mean time??

YABU about the drive though, it's their drive they can have what ever they want wherever they want on it.
(My neighbours and their kids constantly play on both my drives and it annoys the hell out of me, they also use my drives as a shortcut to their property and it's the most frustrating thing ever to me!)

Jedimum1 · 23/08/2017 17:23

I'm struggling to picture the drive. Plenty of houses in my neighborhood share the drive, yet some have put some kind of fence or division. Could you find a pic online of a similar drive?

Original poster

sailorcherries · 23/08/2017 18:38

I've come home and they've added another bin but turned both so that the handles face my house. They need to walk on to my driveway to move both of their bins! While telling my dad it isn't a shared driveway and so I wasn't to walk on it and if the bins fell on my car it was my fault!

I feel like moving the back of my car right up against their bins so they can't use the handles.

Why can people not just talk to other people?

OP posts:

Original poster

sailorcherries · 23/08/2017 18:40

The driveway is almost like this in the middle but monoblock and where there is a clear divide between both drives a small vertical border about 2cm wide (monoblock is horizontal).

OP posts:

Sirzy · 23/08/2017 18:43

why can people just not talk to each other

You mean like telling them that their dogs running into your property is a problem?

Bluntness100 · 23/08/2017 18:44

It wasn't till I joined mumsnet I realised such petty people existed, ones who minded you even standing on their drive. The mind boggles it really does. And yes I'd be annoyed too.

You could try taking round a box of chocolates ( catch more bees with honey) and say you're so sorry to intrude, but you're struggling with the kids and anyway to store the bins in a slightly different location. Say how sorry you are to have to ask and thrust chocolates at them. Would take a proper arse hole to refuse you.

As much as you won't want to, if it gets the result you want, it's five mins of your life and a few quid for some chocolates.

HeebieJeebies456 · 23/08/2017 18:48

they're testing you to see how much fuckery they can get away with.......and you're letting them

i'd just put up a temporary fence/high border and speak to them about their dog
or report to the dog wardens whenever dog is out unsupervised off leash - what if it attacked your dc?
pissing and shitting in your garden is unhygeinic

Original poster

sailorcherries · 23/08/2017 18:56

I never seem to catch them when the dog is out, she opens the front door and lets it go! By the time I see her again weeks have passed.

But yes, we cannot stand on their drive and they can stand on ours to move their bin!

OP posts:

carefreeeee · 23/08/2017 19:02

I would hate to have someone's dog pissing all over my garden but would absolutely not care if someone stepped on my driveway whilst getting out of their car. HTH

Oneggshellsallthetime · 23/08/2017 19:07

Is your lawn a car's length from the road to the front of your house? Could you use any of it to park a car on?

Nip in the bud the dog s*itting on your lawn by some means; You have children. If their dog is not contained within the curtilage of their property and can roam then it isn't under proper control.

In the meantime, any sh*t on your lawn should be scooped up and placed in their recycling bin. Which the bin men will probably refuse to empty until the offending contamination is removed! This is what I would do. Especially as they have made their bins so accessible to you!!

And lastly, yes, you may get further with honey than vinegar.... but poo can make a point too!!!.

Oneggshellsallthetime · 23/08/2017 19:08

Ignore post... didn't see it was just pee as perthe OPs first post. Apologies.

Original poster

sailorcherries · 23/08/2017 19:10

The more I think about it the more annoyed I get about the pettyness of it. I really want to make it so that they can't access their bin handles, show them how ridiculous it is.

OP posts:

EggysMom · 23/08/2017 19:22

So do that, park in such a way that they cannot get to the bin handles.

But just to add, it is possible to move a full wheelie bin from the front rather than the handles. We store ours up against a fence, we have to store with the handles away from us so that we can open the lid; hence we drag them by the front lip away from the fence, and then wriggle behind to push using the handle.

Sirzy · 23/08/2017 19:24

Or you could just be adult and go around and talk to them and clear the air about dogs, bins and drives?

HateIsNotGood · 23/08/2017 19:24

Bin placement - are you sure this is because of you occasionally putting your feet over their 'boundary'. Or is it just something they do without realizing it may cause you difficulties?

Either way - treat as a non-issue and just move the bin if necessary. You'll soon find out if the 'bin placement' was PA territory-marking or just a regular non-event.

Dog-peeing in your garden - in this case the dog is definitely territory-marking, in dog-hierarchy. Yes, measures to prevent this should be sorted out but, it's new build so human territory-marking has yet to materialize. It will.

Check your deeds about putting up fences - if fine put one up. Neighbour Dog won't be the only creature that wishes to piss on your flowers.

Neighbours should wherever possible keep things friendly even though they might fully dislike each other. This is the wisdom from the older neighbourhoods passed down over centuries. Feuds over little things really aren't worth it.

Jedimum1 · 23/08/2017 19:25

So you have one of those "brick" divisions? I'd would"upgrade it to a light fence...

Original poster

sailorcherries · 23/08/2017 19:30

Our brick division is less thab half the size of that one.

Bin placement is deliberate. She brought a second one today and when my dad askes she told him it wasn't a shared drive and we weren't to use it at all, while standing on my driveway.

OP posts:

Original poster

sailorcherries · 23/08/2017 19:31

We also have a fence between gardens, they have a fence at the end of the driveway and a gate to their garden. We don't have a fence at the driveway or gate (yet) which is how the dog got in the back door and back garden. Her not supervising it is the reason behind that, it darting in my front door when I opened that and the pee on the grass

OP posts:

Semaphorically · 23/08/2017 19:33

Re the dog, whenever ours escapes (which she does every now and again as she's an escape artist, not because we let her!) the various neighbours that she befriends have usually held on to her and called me. Which I've been very grateful for (as DDog is a bit daft on roads). You could try that with the dog, in order to provide an opportunity to discuss the issue?

Jedimum1 · 23/08/2017 19:37

I'd worry that they think they drive is not shared at all...

rachrach2 · 23/08/2017 19:45

Our driveway is similar and I stand on my neighbour's driveway very briefly every day getting my children in and out, it's such a minor thing! Why would it annoy anyone?! Sorry they are so unreasonable but guess you have little choice but to accept it. The dog issue though - I would go over as soon as it happens next time, they need to supervise it. If it comes in your house, shut it in a room and ask them to come to retrieve it so you can talk at the same time (you can say you were worried about it running away).

Original poster

sailorcherries · 23/08/2017 19:50

It doesn't help that today ex is being an arse with contact and DS, I am much more annoyed than I'd otherwise be.

Went to check my washing, they were in their garden, not even a hello as normal! This is their long term home and DP and I are in no position to move any time soon, I don't want to deal with this frosty, petty behaviour.

OP posts:

whatsleep · 23/08/2017 20:02

If you were to reverse into your drive you would be able to park closer to the wall and have more room (on the side next to your neighbours drive) to get out and get both children out of one side of the car. I live on a new build estate and people get very petty about 'my land' type things that really shouldn't be a big issue. You are not expecting to park on their drive and it's pretty petty to place their bin there just because you stand on their drive to unload your kids. Try what Iv suggested and I'm sure they will eventually get fed up of their bin being in the middle of their drive and revert back to being sane eventually!

Aridane · 23/08/2017 20:04

Or you could just be adult and go around and talk to them and clear the air about dogs, bins and drives?

This

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