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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

NDN, shared driveway and bin - aibu?

95 replies

sailorcherries · 23/08/2017 14:04

I've posted about my NDNs before and how they let their dog run through our garden (new build and fence/garden gate isn't completed yet), in to our house and pee on our front and back grass.

I've let that slide, while being annoyed, but this level of pettyness takes the piss. NDNs have a bigger and wider drive than us (see picture), and usually park both cars side by side.
DP and I park one behind the other, as is the only way on our drive. Our driveway is quite narrow and so I'd park further over, but still on my drive, to ensure DS7 could open his door without banging it off the side of the house and to let me open thw other door enough to get the car seat for our newborn in and out. This meant me standing for a minute or two on the top of both possibly with one foot in their drive a foot in mine, with the door opening over theirs. They have never had an issue and have regularly walked on our drive if needed, to retrieve stuff from the passenger side of their car.

NDN has now taken to putting her bin right on the border of both drives (see purple box) meaning I need to park further over to open the car seat side door properly, leaving DS7 little room to get out without my door scraping across the wall. She has actually witnessed DS trying to squash out as a result of this.

Now I've mever got annoyed at their dog, never been an arse about them walking over our drive, them having slabs sitting half on their drive and half on ours.

Am I being unreasonable to be quite annoyed and this fairly obvious, and petty, blockade over a pretty non issue?

OP posts:

RainbowPastel · 23/08/2017 20:07

All the people saying move the bins they are on the neighbours land which they own. They can put their bins anywhere they choose. You cannot decide to use a bit of your neighbours drive every day because you bought a house with a drive that's too narrow.

HateIsNotGood · 23/08/2017 20:12

Thanks for the update which puts things into context. Yes, you have every right to be annoyed by the pettiness of it all given that the 'bin placement' is deliberate. Unfortunately this situation requires a like meets like response. A Face Down. This is your life and you prefer not to live it governed by pettiness. So...

Without any explanation or emotion, maintaining a straight poker face you assert and state either (choose applicable):

You need to stop your dog pissing in my garden.

Your dog just pissed yet again in my garden and you need to make sure it only pisses in your garden (after knocking on door).

Do not refer to Bins or Driveways. Do not listen to or accept any explanations. If she continues to say anything other than that she will deal with it, over your shoulder say "just control your dog".

Keep walking, enter your home and tea/wine/breathe.

You have asserted your territory - primal but necessary.

Good Luck OP.

ScissorBow · 23/08/2017 20:14

This sounds very much like my petty but lovely road neighbour. He got his driveway redone and has put plant pots on the dividing line so tandem driveway neighbours can't open their car door and get out onto his drive. He's a nice guy but petty. I just don't see the issue. Your neighbours are being arses. But you do need to grow some balls and talk to your neighbours about the dog thing.

Ewanwhosearmy · 23/08/2017 20:27

Sounds like our Ex NDNs TBH. Thought they could do exactly as they pleased at all times - parking over our drive, putting rubbish out by our car doors, noisy parties late at night - but the slightest little thing we did and they'd be reporting us left right and centre.

It is their responsibility to control their dog and keep it off your land and out of your house. It is the law. I would be following up on that one with the council TBH.

missmollyhadadolly · 23/08/2017 20:28

Went to check my washing, they were in their garden, not even a hello as normal!

Why didn't you talk to them? If they were BU, you could have told they can't stand on your drive and they better control their pissing dog.

HateIsNotGood · 23/08/2017 20:56

What Ewan said - there's too many people out there that either don't give a shit, or just think people should just step in line to suit them. After a lifetime or challenging these wankers, crushing balls, being a bitch/harridan/don't fuck with me/etc it does become rather tiresome.

And that's coming from someone that can - but I would say best try and nip into the bud/cut off at the pass/etc. Ball-cracking and Bitch Face Downs are exhausting and unnecessary and unpleasant. They shouldn't be par for the course but a rarity.

Ferrisday · 23/08/2017 21:18

They're not under the impression that it's all their driveway are they?!

Original poster

sailorcherries · 23/08/2017 21:37

Nope, they just don't want us to occasionally step on it.

OP posts:

BackieJerkhart · 23/08/2017 21:41

I would just move her bin. It would be fair enough if she wasn't letting her dog piss all over your property but she is so her bin is fair game IMO. So drive in, get out, move the bin and let kids out.

ForagingForFaerieGold · 23/08/2017 21:58

So... Just to be clear, you aren't allowed to put a toe on their drive but they can wander all over yours AND let their dog run about and piss in your garden?
The HELL you say?
This inequity needs pointing out to them.
The driveway thing needs to cut both ways or not at all. And the dog needs restraining.

sunglassally · 23/08/2017 22:08

Is there absolutely no room in your front to extend your driveway over your side more? What is the rectangular area behind the grass on your side?

Even half a metre would help would it not? A metre would obviously be better though! What is the width of the grass/area in your wonderfully coloured diagram?

And get a doggie blaster thinggy that emits a noise to keep the sodding dog from peeing on your side of the drive.

I would.

sunglassally · 23/08/2017 22:11

Oops I think the rectangular area might just be YOUR HOUSE!! Anyway, you might clarify.

If that's the case, I can see the problem alright.

I think I would move. This will never end.

Original poster

sailorcherries · 23/08/2017 22:35

It is our house and we cannot move, we have no savings after buying this :(

OP posts:

sunglassally · 23/08/2017 22:40

Sorry sailor, I was just throwing out the usual MN comment, didn't mean to sound mean at all!

Is there room to park on the road outside your house so that one car can be parked lower down (out of the way of the dreaded bins!)

Sit back for a bit and try and think of a creative solution that will leave you sorted, and your neighbour hopping mad! I know I shouldn't advocate any of this stuff, but sometimes I really get annoyed for some posters in this situation. I wish I could go there and sort it out!

All the best.

Youremywifenow · 23/08/2017 22:42

Actually, I can see why it is annoying them if I've read the diagram right. They park their cars in front but you drive in between down the side of their house. The bit you call their driveway isn't a driveway to them and a car driving down the side is louder than at the front, doors shutting, children chatting etc. a car width away from their kitchen table. You expect street noise at the front but at the side it feels a bit more invasive especially if they have side windows which look out on to your car.

If I owned their house, I'd be putting planters with shrubs down my side of the line anyway to create a space that felt more private and make it look nicer, with the bonus of stopping you parking there. Otherwise it's just a useless bit of land / place to keep bins.

I realise this isn't helpful. Be grateful you don't live next door to me.

Original poster

sailorcherries · 23/08/2017 23:03

Ehm no. They have a driveway in front of and down the side of their house. I have a driveway down the side of my house. Our drives are the same width at this point, they just do not use theirs as they have an alternate. I can and will still park my car there, they have just made it more difficult and (if noise were an issue) noiser as we manoeuvre more.

Unless they stare out the, frosted, toilet window I'm not sure my car is offensive?

And planters would be easier, they aren't door high and I could still open the door wider without damaging property.

I am glad I don't live next to you, yes.

OP posts:

Original poster

sailorcherries · 23/08/2017 23:04

It is a driveway to them, they parked half way up it for a while but still left room for my car door to open wider than it will be able to now. He also moves hiw car right up when accessing his garage.

OP posts:

Ontheboardwalk · 23/08/2017 23:06

youremywifenow I think you've got it. I've been trying (and failing) to figure out why someone would be so upset about someone stepping on their drive occasionally.

sailor is it identified as a parking space between the houses?

What would happen if NDN starting parking their car in between the houses as well? That would be a lot more hassle than the bins.

Ontheboardwalk · 23/08/2017 23:11

Cross post OP!

something's got to be winding them up with you parking there now if they've been accommodating in the past?? Has anything, apart from the dog, changed?

BackieJerkhart · 23/08/2017 23:15

Sounds like shit planning on the developers part. Drives should be wide enough to open doors on both sides of the car without encroaching on the neighbour's drive. I'm guessing you bought off plans as the fences etc aren't yet complete. Didn't you query the space for cars?

Original poster

sailorcherries · 24/08/2017 07:54

It is definitely a parking space and definitely my driveway. If it weren't then DP and I would have no where to park ....

When they have parked there it has been fine as they don't park right on the boundary, whereas the bins are right on the boundary.

Again, thw developers were not responsible for a complete fence. We have a 6ft fence between our backgardens but I do not have a fence across the end of my driveway to enclose my garden as, financially, that was too expensive at that point in time.

Once I no longer need to use the infant carry seat the car door will not need to be opened as wide.

We're leaving it be, winds are picking up and if their bins damage our cars then they can pay for repairs. Every time their dog pees on our grass it will be recorded, same goes for it coming in to our garden.

OP posts:

Original poster

sailorcherries · 24/08/2017 07:56

We knew them beforehand, well my parents did. They moved from their old house because the neighbours "were horrible to them and made things awkward". I don't think it was others being bad neighbours ...

OP posts:

Sirzy · 24/08/2017 08:10

Why not just go and talk to them? Things will only get worse from both sides unless someone is adult enough to start a conversation

Original poster

sailorcherries · 24/08/2017 08:37

My dad did manage to catch her yesterday when looking after the kids and ask, as she was dragging bin number two.

She made a point about it being her driveway, not a shared driveway, and they could do as they wished. My dad made a point of agreeing but did note that any damage caused to my car through their bin would be charged to them and she was shocked. My dad also pointed out that we've been more than accommodating with the dog and never officially complained or reported it, to which she just stammered and then went inside.

Any time I went in to the garden last night her and her sister stopped speaking and stared at me. Bloody weirdos.

OP posts:

missmollyhadadolly · 24/08/2017 09:08

Well done sailorcherries's dad!

I wouldn't hold my breath that they will pay for any damage to your car. They will just deny it unless you have proof.

They're twats.

And I'm glad I don't live next door to youremywifenow.

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