To just stay fat.....?

[procrastinationsupremo]

I'm very overweight. I'm lucky in that I carry my weight very evenly across my body, so probably don't look as heavy as I actually am. I'm short and a size 14 in most shops and my BMI actually shows me almost in the obese range. I've always struggled a bit with my weight and lost quite a lot in my early 20s, which I kept of till my middle 30s by being pretty careful about what I ate and weighing myself regularly/cutting back when needed. In the last few years (I'm 40 next year) I just seem to have lost the willpower and have gradually put on about 2.5 stone. It doesn't seem to impact on my daily life that much, I don't get out of breath going up stairs or anything and can quite happily walk for an hour or so each day. I have a toddler and perhaps don't run about as much as some Mums, but that might be my age! My husband still seems to find me attractive.

I know I'd feel better and more confident if I lost weight and I'm pretty horrified by myself at times. I'm also really into clothes and have a wardrobe of lovely things I can't wear anymore. However, on balance, I'm just not sure I can be arsed... I have a fairly stressful job and a busy, tiring life and when I think about the energy a diet requires, let alone all the sacrifices, I just can't face it. I feel like all the nice things we do centre around food (and wine) and now that I'm too old, married and responsible to waste money on expensive clothes, go to parties or have ill-advised liaisons there just aren't that many other vices left!! WIBU to just decide to stay fat?

You don't need to diet. You start with some small healthy changes and see where that takes you. Make a list of everything you could do and pick one or two. Such as:

• Walk to work
• no more sugary drinks
• Cut portions by 1/3
• Wine only on weekends
• Whatever!

You get the idea. No deprivation, just small sensible choices. See where it takes you.

I've been thinking the same, I've lost all my willpower now I'm in my 40's and have a demanding 2.5 year old who's only recently started sleeping properly. I have been trying to cut back a bit, smaller meals and only drinking alcohol at the weekend. But when I try to seriously calorie count I can do it for about a week and then it's get too much, I get really grumpy, irritable and obsessed with food!

A piece of advice I heed ( i am about a stone overweight) is not to gain more weight. put 2 lb on at Christmas and its nearly half a stone in 2 years ( counting from first Christmas iyswim). so for example i cut back a bit before xmas.

Me too. Exactly this. Last night I did exercise. I didn't buy any wine for the house this week and now I'm sitting here with sore calves, no wine and the threat of the excersise video looming once my kids are in bed.

If I feel like this on only the 2nd day of getting fit, there's no way I'm going to keep it going forever.

I think 2cats has it.
I'm in the same situation as you OP, and diets have actually only made me fatter so I've been off them for around a year.
Watching with interest.

What is a normal days food?

You can't decide to stay the way you are cos that won't happen, you will get bigger and bigger. I'm not being horrible but I went through that whole though process myself a few years back. I'm running to stand still with my weight, let alone lose. I also think that it's really difficult if you drink a lot of alcohol as that can be your daily food intake gone.

I'm sure you'll get in the right mindset soon. I just do mfp. It's not too bad.

Don't see it as a diet or a project if that's an exhausting thought, it doesn't have to be complex. It can be a background thing where you remind yourself not to eat that 3rd biscuit, then move on to do something else. Eating a smaller portion at dinner, then carrying on with your evening. Things that might seem a bit different at first but you distract with the rest of your usual routine until the healthy habits become your norm too.

I believe in you btw!! At the start of this year I was eating sugar stuff like you wouldn't believe - gradually cut down.

You sound exactly like me! I'm also really into clothes and have piles of lovely stuff that doesn't fit me! Unfortunately, I'm pretty happy...have a nice oh, nice DC, am physically fit, nice face I think! I just love food! I was slim in my twenties but only through a lot of effort and deprivation!

Obviously being happy isn't an unfortunate thing...it's a great thing but it means I have little motivation!

Just make a list of 3 healthy meals you're going to eat at the start of each day and stick to it. The meals can be large but healthy and any snacks fruit or nuts or glass of water.
Show the plan to your partner or a friend at the start of the day then ring them at night to tell them you've stuck to it.
Brush your teeth at 7pm and don't eat after this.
You should see results in a week, I do. Good luck

Your approach isn't a good idea. If you continue as you are you will continue to grow and end up absolutely miserable - with the possibility of diabetes/risk of heart attack etc

Why not do couch to 5k or just try and eat a bit healthier

Ps get lots of sleep. Sleep deprivation causes sugar/carb cravings.

Interesting thread. I was 14st at the start of the year and am now 12stone. I'm short as well and mid-thirties. I started to find it was harder to be fat than just to lose the weight. Was fed up with the effort of walking, struggling to find clothes etc etc. It's getting started that's hardest.

Losing weight is definitely more mental than physical. I've only recently been in the right place to address it property.

Good luck whatever you decide OP.

Gives a wave. Me to. I'm 40 next year. Battled all my life with weight and this year I thought sod it. Iv brought myself nice clothes that fit (instar of waiting to loose weight) that make me feel fab. Iv had a haircut, I wear make up - just take care of myself more. For the first time I'm happier than iv been in ages. I'm fat but feel confident iykwim. I don't feel I need anyone's approval or opinions. Only chnage I'm going to me is try and be more active

You absolutely should enjoy good food and wine as you age. Dieting is dull and IMO unhealthy as it can't be maintained. So in a way I agree with you.

But I also agree with 2cats (I can't bold on my phone, sorry) about small healthy changes. Excess weight over time will take it's toll on your health and fitness.

I've decided to stay fat. I'm not massively overweight (10lbs over correct weight) but no matter how much weight I lose I always end up back at this weight.
It's stayed the same now for 2 years so I think it's just the weight I'm meant to be.

@procrastinationsupremo

With you all the way!

I am convinced that it's impossible to get slim again after the age of 42-45 y.o. Moreso, if you have been a bit chubby for more than 10 years.

I was 10 and a half stone and a size 12-14, before I had my kids (had them in my late 20's,) and I was only about 11 stone when they were 1 and 2... (I am 5 ft 4.) I was not thin but not fat...

But when they were 5 and 6-ish, I gained half a stone a year until I had gained 4 stone. (So I ended up at around 15 stone, and a size 20 at around the age of 40.)

After hitting 15 stone, I dieted on and off for a decade, and dropped no further down than 12 and a half stone. And the weight always crept back up. I ducked and dived between 13 and 15 and a half stone for 10 years.

I am now 50-ish, and am currently 13 and a half stone. (Last summer I was 15 stone and had been for about 8 months. I dieted and dropped to 13 stone, (by this March!) but I am slowly crawling back up. )

I literally eat only about 1300 calories a day, I eat less than anyone else I know, and I walk 3 miles at a time, four or five times a week. I also go swimming. Yet for the life of me, I can NOT get under size 16 or under 13 stone.

I don't look awful, but I am not slim. It also upsets me (for some daft reason) that neither of my grown children has ever seen me slim. I have always been fat to them!

I wish I didn't care but I do.

I have come to the conclusion that I am never ever gonna be below 13 stone again ever. But even so, I do look a lot better at 13 to 13 and a half stone than I do at 15 stone. I look 5 years older than my age at 15 stone, and about 3-4 years younger at 13 stone...

And a 20 to 25 pound weight loss on a 5 ft 4 inch woman is quite a lot really.

I agree that 'just doing your best' is all you can do really.

If anyone thinks I am not eating enough by the way, I have tried eating more, like 1600 to 2000 calories a day, bu just gained weight.

I think the problem is that you're thinking about dieting and self-denial and that's what's mentally turning you off. Diets are a complete and utter boring ballache.

What's worked for me is incorporating exercise and a few simple rules into my routine, rather than a massive routine and diet change. So for me my rules are (and you might find that totally different rules work for you):

1. Walk everywhere possible
2. Run home from work at least 2x pw
3. No alcohol except on Friday and Saturday nights
4. No fizzy drinks ever
5. TRY not to eat sweet stuff during the week (this is the hardest as I have a terrible sweet tooth and people are forever bringing treats into work)
6. Eat porridge for breakfast
7. Don't keep biscuits, chocolate and crisps in the house
8. Never watch tv with a pack of sweets (I used to be able to put away a whole big packet of peanut m&ms while watching a film!)

Sorry if this sounds preachy - I'm just trying to convey that I'm a repeat failed 'dieter' when what I actually needed was to make a number of smaller changes to my habits and stick to them. And it's so much easier than going on some fucking cabbage soup diet!

Pigface1 can i just ask why no fizzy drinks ever? I love me a zero calorie fizzy drink!

Is it doable without cutting down on wine..? I can be good anywhere else, but ...

Is it doable without cutting down on wine..? I can be good anywhere else

Yes but you can only eat vegetable stir fry!

The problem is that just gaining a small bit of weight every year mounts up over the years. And then you end up with a lot more to lose and that's much harder - especially as you get older. I slowly and inexorably went from size 14 to 16 to 18 to 20 over about 20 years and I am now trying to reverse back to size 14 - and stick at it. Although I'm making progress, it would have been much easier to have made smaller changes along the way and not get in this situation in the first place! But don't think of it as a "diet", that is as Pigface says a complete ballot. Think healthy living, lifestyle changes, saving treats for weekend!