To just stay fat.....?

[procrastinationsupremo]

I'm very overweight. I'm lucky in that I carry my weight very evenly across my body, so probably don't look as heavy as I actually am. I'm short and a size 14 in most shops and my BMI actually shows me almost in the obese range. I've always struggled a bit with my weight and lost quite a lot in my early 20s, which I kept of till my middle 30s by being pretty careful about what I ate and weighing myself regularly/cutting back when needed. In the last few years (I'm 40 next year) I just seem to have lost the willpower and have gradually put on about 2.5 stone. It doesn't seem to impact on my daily life that much, I don't get out of breath going up stairs or anything and can quite happily walk for an hour or so each day. I have a toddler and perhaps don't run about as much as some Mums, but that might be my age! My husband still seems to find me attractive.

I know I'd feel better and more confident if I lost weight and I'm pretty horrified by myself at times. I'm also really into clothes and have a wardrobe of lovely things I can't wear anymore. However, on balance, I'm just not sure I can be arsed... I have a fairly stressful job and a busy, tiring life and when I think about the energy a diet requires, let alone all the sacrifices, I just can't face it. I feel like all the nice things we do centre around food (and wine) and now that I'm too old, married and responsible to waste money on expensive clothes, go to parties or have ill-advised liaisons there just aren't that many other vices left!! WIBU to just decide to stay fat?

In mice, diet drinks,make you just as fat as sugary ones. The chemicals (aspartame) inhibit a gut enzyme to do.its job (or something).

Slim people rarely drink diet drinks, it is usually overweight people (just what I notice/anecdotal), but apparently there is a scientific reason.

Not sure that OP does realise all the drawbacks of being obese. It's not just diabetes or a heart attack. Obesity is also a risk factor for arthritis, stroke, liver disease and many types of cancer particularly breast cancer. These are more common once you reach late middle age i.e. after the menopause when you will find it even more difficult to lose weight. Do it now and protect your future health.

OP your body, your choice. I'm in my late 40s and have lost six stone in the last few years without dieting. I just tweaked things - cut out snacks, eat less in the evenings, drink less alcohol, workout more, walk as much as I can. I gained about 4 stone of that 6 after my youngest DC was born, 2 stone during pregnancy. I hated being fat. I'm now slimmer than I was in my 20s and 30s. Proof that you can do it in your 40s - if you want to!

@Argymmargy

Of course OP realises all this. She's not a cretin

I've been a yo yo dieter since I was 13/14 but decided in my 40s enough was enough I managed to stop weight going up by increasing exercise and swim or gym 3 times a week
Now in my 50s I decided I actually do want to diet a bit so reduced alcohol to 2 nights a week and swapped a few things to healthier choices - I also had to go gluten free 3 years ago for other reasons (IBS and bloating) which helped massively

Neutrogena I have not seen you post a single comment that is helpful or friendly. They are often downright nasty. Are you very unhappy? Perhaps you could start your own thread and air your problems? There are some very kind people on here.

You are obviously ignoring the posts where I am helpful.
I shoot from the hip Aunty, and if that goes against the conventional MN wisdom, I make no apologies.
What I don't like is the bullying and ganging up on those with a different opinion. You can see it in so many threads.

I'm not saying anyone is lying but I find it shocking that anyone can manage on 1300 calories a day (or less). I eat far more although I tend to try and choose a packet of mini cheddars or hula hoops instead of the grab bags of Walkers (sort of a little of what you fancy rather than a lot). I do drink wine most days though and often eat half a family bag of crisps while doing so in front of the telly. I consider myself lucky to be 8.5 stones but maybe it's not just luck?

Whenever I read about people's low intake and yet high weights I wonder if there's any correlation with gut bacteria.There's been quite a bit in the news/media recently about gut bacteria and how not having much variety can cause weight gain. There was an interesting "Doctor in the House" recently with a young boy who was overweight despite eating a healthy diet. By improving his gut bacteria he dropped weight without trying. I'm not saying it would work for you but it might be worth a look? "Trust me I'm a doctor" also did one showing that saccharine can damage our gut bacteria so maybe that's another thought.

It's definitely reasonable to focus on being active and healthy. Being unhealthy is what is associated with the health risks not being fat in and of itself.

So keep active and get fit.

Diet drinks are indeed a minefield. How anybody can look at the evidence that people who drink diet drinks tend to be fatter and not immediately conclude that it is the fatness causing the use (abuse) of diet drinks rather than the diet drinks making you fat is beyond me. I know there is some (very limited) evidence that diet drinks really aren't helpful for weight loss...but then there is a shed load of evidence that neither dieting not exercise are helpful for weight loss either - but people don't often bang on about that...

I personally find I can go without chocolate or without diet coke...but I can't lose both without my mood totally crashing. I lose weight If I ditch the chocolate...but not if I ditch the diet coke. But that is just me....

I've been thinking the same op. I'm about a stone overweight. I feel like I bounce from diet to diet and there is always something that I'm trying to lose weight for - holidays, birthdays, Christmas, after Christmas.

I do many of the things suggested on this thread but I only lose weight when I slash my calories and it is so depressing. I'll never be a gym bunny (which I suspect is the answer) so I was mulling over whether I ought to bite the bullet and accept that as a forty something year old woman it is unrealistic to have the body I had in my twenties/thirties and just accept these extra few pounds.

I was like you, OP. I carried extra weight through my 30s and equated it to a happy lifestyle. At the age of 41 I had a lightbulb moment and just thought Enough.

I cut out the crap and read labels. Made healthy choices and increased my exercise a bit. I did not consider it dieting and didn't say much to anyone. Over about 8 months I lost 2 stone. Ten years on I've maintained by just being a bit careful. Nothing daft, just sensible. If I gain a bit I am more careful until it's gone.

The truth is I just prefer being slim and the lovely ' lifestyle equates to being a bit plump' was, of course not true. I still eat and drink well, just more mindfully.

My body seems to want to be 12 st 8.

I rarely go above it, and if I restrict myself like mad the weight comes off at about an ounce at a time and then pings back on the minute my back's turned.

I've started to think it's time to surrender. I have a fitbit and do my 10k a day, I run and do Pilates, I have an allotment and dogs that I have to walk. I'm active enough.

I can wear pretty much whatever clothes I like and my dp finds me attractive.

So I've started to wonder just who I'm trying to lose the weight for...

Thank you for all your replies and advice, I've found them all really helpful. We've been away camping for a couple of days with no signal , so sorry about my slow response!

I think I've decided that I won't aim to lose weight, but will reduce my sugar intake, limit wine to 1-2 nights a week (and only a small glass or 2), give up the Diet Coke (which I know is horrible, nasty stuff even if it doesn't lead to weight gain) and increase my activity levels. I'll weigh myself regularly and make sure I don't get any heavier than I am now.

I do think some people can eat a lot more than others and still maintain a healthy weight (but who said life was fair, right?) so honesty I don't think that will be enough for me to lose weight (even in my 20s I could only maintain a healthy BMI on about 1,500-1,750 calories a day and a fairly active lifestyle), but I hope it might be enough to keep me healthier for longer and be a better example to my daughter.

Though I'm (probably) not a cretin Neutrogena I do think as a society we've lost some sense of what really constitutes overweight and so I perhaps haven't really taken on board the health risks of my own weight just because I'm not quite as heavy as some other people are.

Doesn't sound to me like you even are fat. Size 14 is hardly mass in motion. And as you said, you carry it evenly and your bloke still fancies you (NOT that that should be the main concern, before I get jumped on) so what's the issue? I wouldn't have thought your life is in danger if you're a size 14

Cut out carbs for 5 days and eat them Saturday and Sunday. You have to cut out the carbs and sugar. I eat rice cakes with cheese, egg or spread as a snack. For breakfast you can eat egg, sausage with beans.
You can eat meat with salad and a bean salad which is pretty tasty for dinner. You don't have to starve yourself only cut out the carbs and sugar.
You can drink alcohol you won't feel to clever I would leave it to weekends or don't drink at all. I enjoy my wine over the weekends.

Mumbod lose weight for your health. Its okay now being that size but what will happen when you become sedentary and not worked out your eating habits?

God, yes, HorridHenry, I hadn't thought of that!

I'll lose weight! Right now!

Children need carbs because they are growing my children can eat for England and not put an ounce of weight on. It seems to distribute around the body. When we become adults we don't need to eat like that unless you want to grow outwards. Only athletes should eat carbs on a daily basis because of the amount training they do. I remember reading about Andy Murray eats 6,000 calories after his matches. He's 6ft3 and 13 1/2 stone. How many times a year does he play.

If fat is staying on you there is a reason.

Mumbod remember don't starve yourself and don't look at it as a diet. This is the rest of your life.

HorridHenry the reason is I'm a bit of a greedy fucker.

I own it.

And I really really like carbs.

And if I go over about 12 and a half stone, I naturally curb my eating until I drop down again. I've been doing this for about 10 years.

It's fine.

Enjoy what you want weekends.

And I've done low carb diets. They make me feel very very sick.

I'm not that big of a meat-eater, and I seem to need ballast.

Personally it would be the long term health implications that would spur me on. Ditch the fuzzy stuff, reduce alcohol and processed sugary food and move more.