Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think GCSE good results are there own reward?

82 replies

MsHarry · 20/08/2017 18:33

It hadn't occurred to me to pay my DD for good grades this Thursday. She half jokingly mention that a friend is getting paid £100 for every A!!! DD is quite academic and could get mostly As, Bs and possibly some A judging by her work and mocks/predictions. We went out for a meal at the end of her exams, bought her a card and wrote a few words saying how proud we were of her efforts. She has a part time job and has been earning lots over the holidays so not short of cash. Had a chat with DH earlier and he laughed at the idea of giving her a cash reward. He suggested a celebratory meal and that feels about right to me too. AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
MsHarry · 20/08/2017 18:34

*their not there!!

OP posts:
ASDismynormality · 20/08/2017 18:35

Lots of my DDs friends are also being paid per grade. DD is getting a pair of jeans from us as a reward!

newtlover · 20/08/2017 18:37

YANBU at all, as long as you celebrate effort, as you describe. Presumably people do this to motivate their children. It's a hard slog doing GCSEs and we should recognise this, but kids need to realise they are working hard for themselves, not for anyone else.

LIZS · 20/08/2017 18:41

We've not discussed a financial reward. However it is also her bday soon so everything kind of rolls together and she's already had a new phone. She did however work damn hard and consistently throughout so hoping she gets the results she deserves.

Katinkka · 20/08/2017 18:41

If I didn't have all autistic children I would totally pay per grade. Children can't always see the benefit of good grades at the time but they can understand the benefit of money!

Ontopofthesunset · 20/08/2017 18:45

£100 per A would be really expensive if the student was expected to do very well, though perhaps if they were you wouldn't offer that (thinking of those kids with 10 or 11 As). We've not offered monetary reward to either of ours, but we went out for a meal with DS1 to celebrate his hard work both after the exams finished and after he got his results. We'll do the same with DS2 whatever he gets.

ChangeroOfNamero · 20/08/2017 18:46

I was paid per grade... it definitely made me work harder.

allegretto · 20/08/2017 18:46

I agree OP. Also I have read that studies which offer financial rewards end up having a detrimental effect in the long run - it can be difficult to return to the idea of intrinsic value in making effort when money isn't involved!

SummerKelly · 20/08/2017 18:47

A treat is better than a reward according to Gretchen Rubin, sorry not a clicky link as don't know how to do in app - gretchenrubin.com/happiness_project/2015/06/why-we-shouldnt-reward-ourselves-for-good-habits-with-one-exception/

Basically agrees with you saying that the reward is good grades, not money. External rewards can lessen intrinsic motivation, and make the thing feel like a chore rather than an end in itself. Also theory around the growth mindset would indicate that it's the work put in you should praise rather than the outcome.

A "treat" probably needs to be given after the event rather than be expected, and not tied to any particular outcome.

I wouldn't offer my DD anything as a reward. As well as the reasons above I can't be there all of her life to reward her for things she doesn't really want to do so I wouldn't be helping her to learn skills for the future. I will do something nice for / with her after they are over though, possibly before the results.

HighwayDragon1 · 20/08/2017 18:49

I was paid, because I was a chronic underachiever.
£20 for C
£30 for B
£40 for A
£50 for A*

I got 10 C's and a Bit made a pretty packet too. It worked, I was motivated to put the extra work in

BigFatGoalie · 20/08/2017 18:49

This is a joke, right?!
PAYING your child to achieve certain results?
When I finished my secondary school education and wrote my final exams, we had a celebratory meal and my parents gave me a beautifully engraved pen, but they were MY results due to MY hard work and effort, to influence MY future. Why should my parents have paid me?! It wasn't going to affect their future, I had to take responsibility for myself.
I despair sometimes.

Crumbs1 · 20/08/2017 18:50

We didn't pay for GCSEs but did offer our son money for every A or A* at A level. It was a motivator rather than reward and intended to support his understanding that hard work results in more money, generally.

CbeebiesAddict · 20/08/2017 18:54

Wow wish my parents had done this, I was good at school and would have made a fortune Grin

I am planning to bung £20 in a card for DBro. Feels a bit stingy now!

newtlover · 20/08/2017 18:55

hmmm.....tell that to the graduates working in Costa

MsAwesomeDragon · 20/08/2017 18:55

Loads of the pupils I teach get rewards for their exam results. The cash promised ranges from £10 per A, going down in £1 increments for each grade, up to £100 for an A.

The most academic kids tend not to get these promises, within my top set there weren't many pupils expecting cash rewards, but in set 2/3 (aiming for B/C grades) more than half have the promise of cash for grades. That's just my school though, I can't say whether that's typical in other schools.

My dd has never had any offer of cash for grades, the grades themselves are the prize. She did her GCSEs last year, and I upgraded her phone just after her last exam as a reward for effort, but our celebration for her results was a takeaway, not cash.

Jivebunny89 · 20/08/2017 18:56

I was predicted mostly As and Bs, so my parents said I could have £10 for ever A, and £5 for every B.

On the day I ended up with two Bs and eight Cs. So £10 in total. This was 11 years ago now.

I did get envious of my friends who were taken out for fancy meals, or whatever. Results are their own reward.

But as an adult I've realised that there isn't always a correlation between effort/achievement and reward. I rarely get jealous of my friends now. Even if daddy bought them a house or a car or whatever. It's not my life.

Notso · 20/08/2017 18:57

I don't see an issue with it.

Violetcharlotte · 20/08/2017 19:00

I agree OP. I know people who do this. £20 for an A, £10 for a B, etc. The argument is it's an incentive, but you're right, the results themselves should be the percentage to work hard!

However I would reward good results/ lots of effort with a gift or meal out.

5rivers7hills · 20/08/2017 19:02

I don't like pay per grade.

My parents took me out for a celebratory meal. Oh... and I got a computer for 6th form :-)

Bluebannana · 20/08/2017 19:03

We had a girl at school who was paid for results starting with spelling tests at primary school. I always felt sorry for her because it seemed to put a lot of pressure on the result rather than rewarding for effort. I always knew that my parents would be happy so long as I tried my best. My uncle did give me £10 per GCSE (not grade based, just that I passed them) but this was a surprise reward not an incentive.

MirandaWest · 20/08/2017 19:10

I don't agree with getting money for certain grades but if I did then wouldn't you have to agree it well in advance so it might have an impact on how hard someone worked.

InfiniteCurve · 20/08/2017 19:13

DH and I loved the film Big Business (Bette Midler/Lily Tomlin as 2 sets of mixed up identical twins...) At one point it turns out that Bette Midler's nasty character is paying her spoilt out of control son for grades - cue his Dad saying in horrified tones "you're paying our child to learn?!?"
So that's our house - DH slipping the DCs money when they do well and me stalking around the place going "you're paying our child to learn?!?"
I think your reward for working hard is getting to be proud of the results you achieved Smile

BornAgainScorpion · 20/08/2017 19:13

I wish my mum could have paid me per grade but as a disabled woman, she couldn't work.

I probably would have tried harder in my GCSEs and A levels.

MarciaBlaine · 20/08/2017 19:18

I got a kitten for passing my o'levels :)

allegretto · 20/08/2017 19:25

I did get a book token for getting the best grades in the school - a whole £5. Grin

Swipe left for the next trending thread