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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think GCSE good results are there own reward?

82 replies

MsHarry · 20/08/2017 18:33

It hadn't occurred to me to pay my DD for good grades this Thursday. She half jokingly mention that a friend is getting paid £100 for every A!!! DD is quite academic and could get mostly As, Bs and possibly some A judging by her work and mocks/predictions. We went out for a meal at the end of her exams, bought her a card and wrote a few words saying how proud we were of her efforts. She has a part time job and has been earning lots over the holidays so not short of cash. Had a chat with DH earlier and he laughed at the idea of giving her a cash reward. He suggested a celebratory meal and that feels about right to me too. AIBU?

OP posts:

megletthesecond · 20/08/2017 19:31

My dc's (10 & 8) are being paid 20 per workbook page this summer .

To be honest it's only my 10yr old who actually does them, my 8yr old can't be motivated for love not money for anything.

megletthesecond · 20/08/2017 19:32

20p per workbook page.

pointythings · 20/08/2017 19:33

DD1 is awaiting her results, we have agreed that she is getting a particular archery-themed necklace as a reward for all her hard work irrespective of grades. If she gets nothing below a C, in addition she gets a particular band shirt to the tune of £15. Total cost will be about £65 and we are planning a meal out too. I reckon she's earned that. She did in a tongue in cheek way mention what some of her friends were being offered and we said no, no way - we'd go broke as she is very academic.

ForalltheSaints · 20/08/2017 19:33

Something such as a meal to celebrate perhaps, but not money. My feeling is that for GCSEs, whether you have a given number is not important but that you have good grades in what I feel are core subjects, such as English Language and Maths.

Sallystyle · 20/08/2017 19:38

Me and my mum got together to give my son a sum of extra money on his birthday just before he got his results.

He has learning difficulties and we were told that he would likely always struggle and at one point we were told it was unlikely he would be able to live independently. They were wrong about him not being able to live on his own one day.

He did struggle immensely and he was also doing his first GCSE year just after his father died and then he lost two other relatives as well. He worked his arse off at the same time as dealing with awful grief and he was predicted great results and none of it came remotely easy to him. His fighting spirit and determination in a time of great stress was what got him the money. I just wanted to do something extra special for him.

He wasn't aware we were going to do it.

My other son is waiting for his GCSE results and he didn't care about them at all. He didn't do his homework and put no effort into trying to up his grades. For me it wasn't about what grades they got but more about the effort they put in.

Allthebestnamesareused · 20/08/2017 19:41

My DS will need a new laptop to go into 6th form. He has his eye on quite an expensive one. He takes his next Summer. We think we will buy it before results to reward effort (assuming he puts it in - no reason not to think he won't) rather than the results.

BringOnTheScience · 20/08/2017 19:46

We got DC1 a new bass guitar (they're in a band) at the end of exams as a reward for effort. We deliberately rewarded effort rather than grades. Their anticipated grades are pretty darned good, but we didn't want to risk a double disappointment if a grade dipped. They've put in huge effort.

Different people will motivate their DC in different ways. I can see us needing to offer hard cash to DC2.

Ronnyhotdog · 20/08/2017 19:55

I rewarded ds1 for his gcse grades, can't remember the amount now. I don't see the problem in my choosing to reward him, if I can afford to give him the cash what's the problem? He didn't boast about it, he's not that type of person. The cash is still sat in his savings account for uni.
He's just got excellent Alevel results, his reward is we are allowing him to have a party while we go away for a couple of days and we are taking him & his gf out for a meal.
I'll be offering ds2 cash for his results too, it'll be a good motivator for him.

jo10000 · 20/08/2017 19:56

A couple of my friends kids ended up going off the rails just before exam time and ended up with no GCSEs. We know how important they are but teenagers going through difficult times may not always see that. I see nothing wrong with offering cash incentives to those kids who don't see a good gcse as a reward itself, if that just gets them over the line. I didn't need motivating, but I am planning cash incentives for my daughter.

AccrualIntentions · 20/08/2017 19:57

I was gutted as a teenager when my friends were getting £50 per A* etc...I would have raked it in! But my parents were of the same opinion as you OP and now, as an adult, I agree with them. Perhaps some teenagers respond to monetary bribes to revise but I wasn't one of them.

wrenika · 20/08/2017 20:10

I didn't get a price per grade - although my friend, who struggled more, did get that incentive from her parents. I waltzed through my school exams with little need to revise so there was no point in dangling incentives in front of me. But my parents did buy me something afterwards to say well done. For my standard grades, my mum got me a bra that I had been admiring but couldn't afford...I can't remember what I got for higher results...and then for my advanced highers/uni acceptance I got a camera. It was nice to be rewarded for doing well.

QuackDuckQuack · 20/08/2017 20:17

I got a cash reward based on the number of A/A* I got. Probably because my older brother had needed an incentive, so following in his footsteps I got it too. My parents considered my schoolwork to be my job at that point and plenty of jobs come with financial bonuses, so on that basis it seems fine to reward in some way if you can afford to and want to. I'll probably do the same for my DC.

Xmasbaby11 · 20/08/2017 20:18

I'd rather reward the effort than the result. Dd1 is not academic whereas dd2 is. How would that work - dd2 would likely have a double reward of good grades and money as well. Also dd2 finds life easier generally.

I can understand why parents do it but it has to fit the family especially any siblings.

thekittensmittens76 · 20/08/2017 20:19

I wish my parents had paid me £100 per A*. I got 10 at GCSE and 3 at A-Level, like the little swot I was.

DrMadelineMaxwell · 20/08/2017 20:21

DD has mentioned friends of hers being bribed with a certain amount of money per A*/A/B grade.

I did give DD some extra pocket money to cover her for her study leave and as a reward for all her hard work. I gave it after the last exam and was clear it was for effort and not attainment.

She is predicted to get all As and I look forward to Thurs. We will then have a family meal out. And I've mentioned to DH about perhaps treating her to a smaller (and reasonably priced) laptop for taking to and from sixth form college as the one she has has a duff keyboard - all her own fault and down to parsley sauce on her laptop, but that's another story.

SabineUndine · 20/08/2017 20:25

When I got my O levels that was the attitude of my parents. Or so they said. In fact my father was starting to resent my academic achievements. Most of my friends got something, one friend got £5 for each O level she passed at grade C or higher. For me, it just felt as though my parents took me for granted. If I'd done badly I would never have heard the end of it.

SheepyFun · 20/08/2017 20:31

One of my colleagues is a twin - when he got into grammar school (not recently!) but his twin didn't, their parents got the failed twin a gift in compensation. This clearly made an impression on my colleague, but in many ways they were right; the twin who went to a grammar school went on to university, and escaped the poverty of his childhood, unlike his brother. The gift certainly didn't make up for that.

I'd definitely say that good grades give you opportunities in themselves, though I'm not suggesting inverse financial rewards (£0 for A*, £10 for an A...£70 for a G).

caffeinestream · 20/08/2017 20:33

I got taken out for dinner after my GCSE's, and for my A-levels, I got a fancy brunch with prosecco and a laptop for university.

I had friends who got a whole range of "rewards" though - money, cars, animals, holidays etc.

lljkk · 20/08/2017 20:41

I seem to recall offering to pay DS £30 for each A*; he said that was ridiculously too low! End of discussion. He got some As, anyway :).

Each May, we celebrate end of exam season with a take-away meal chosen by the (DC) exam takers, maybe chocolate, too. I don't celebrate their GCSE results. That's months after the hard work & will be whatever it will be.

JennyBlueWren · 20/08/2017 21:00

My grandad gave us money for our grades but I think it was tied to improvements on top of our mock exams or something. Not sure my parents really approved.

Original poster

MsHarry · 20/08/2017 21:11

Well I am pleasantly surprised. I really thought I was perhaps in the minority. Thing is, she has always been highly motivated, have never had to tell her to revise so an incentive wasn't needed. She knows the opportunities that her grades could afford her so wouldn't and couldn't have worked any harder. I don't think it had crossed her mind either until friends started piping up. Her birthday is in September so don't really/can't really splash out twice.

OP posts:

Angelicinnocent · 20/08/2017 21:13

We did reward DS for his results but he wasn't promised anything beforehand. It was more a case of well done, have a reward.

Original poster

MsHarry · 20/08/2017 21:19

Summer that's an interesting link. I suppose rewarding with a laptop for her A levels could fit the exception and could be tied in to her birthday present. However, she has expensive taste and has her eye on a macbook so that's unlikely to happen. I can see that if we had said we'd pay for every A grade and she didn't get any, she would feel terrible.

OP posts:

littlemissangrypants · 20/08/2017 21:20

Both my sons have been or will be paid for good grades. In hindsight I wouldn't have done it as younger son has dyspraxia and is on spectrum and is likely to get poorer grades than his brother as a result.
My eldest is very bright but makes no effort. He could have had straight As but instead ended up with a couple of bs and cs. He has also just failed his maths AS level.
My youngest struggles but works so hard to do anything. He revised and attended extra sesssions at school to help but I don't think it will have made a huge difference. We are hoping for 6cs or above to go to our local 6th form. He is likely to get an A in IT which is his passion but the rest will be tricky.
It seems unfair that my youngest worked so hard but will get so little and my eldest got an ok amount but did so little. It's just a bit late to change now unfortunately.

magoria · 20/08/2017 21:21

If she is getting her results on the 24th then aren't there no longer any A*?

They are now 1 - 9?

If so say yes because she won't be getting any

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