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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think GCSE good results are there own reward?

82 replies

MsHarry · 20/08/2017 18:33

It hadn't occurred to me to pay my DD for good grades this Thursday. She half jokingly mention that a friend is getting paid £100 for every A!!! DD is quite academic and could get mostly As, Bs and possibly some A judging by her work and mocks/predictions. We went out for a meal at the end of her exams, bought her a card and wrote a few words saying how proud we were of her efforts. She has a part time job and has been earning lots over the holidays so not short of cash. Had a chat with DH earlier and he laughed at the idea of giving her a cash reward. He suggested a celebratory meal and that feels about right to me too. AIBU?

OP posts:

noeffingidea · 20/08/2017 21:22

I've never heard of this before. I wasn't paid for grades and it would never have occured to me to pay my kids for grades. I find it a bit of an odd concept really. I always told them they were working for their own future, not my approval.
My eldest son failed everything, but went on to do some basic qualifications at college. He's now worked his way up to a great job. That is his incentive.
My younger son worked really hard, he wanted to do well and he enjoyed most of the work, His reward was a place at uni, which he loves.
They always got a fair amount of money spent on them for birthdays, can't remember if they got more those years. I wouldn't have tied it to their results.

Bluntness100 · 20/08/2017 21:26

We did for gcse. She was always going to work hard but suspect this gave her that extra little push. I didn't for a level as by then she was older and didn't need the push and understood the importance. The gcse results she got, gave her the confidence she needed that she could do it and set her on the right path. The money was the icing on the cake.

I'd do it again in a heart beat and if I had a kid who was messing around during a levels, I'd prob do it then too if I thought it would work. I also did it well in advance so it influenced the work.

It's all well and good to say rhe grade itself is the reward, and it is, but some kids need a little extra incentive.

Original poster

MsHarry · 20/08/2017 21:26

Yes I can see that little and my other DD, whilst likely to do well enough to study A levels, has never been in the same category as the eldest. So therefore she might get less if we paid although she works just as hard. I think reward for hard work sounds much better unless your child is lazy and could do very well with a rocket up them! I remember getting my O' level results and being pleased and that being enough. Parents said well done and I got to do A levels, never expected anything from anyone. Think I got a card or two.Wish I could be like DH, he is never affected by what other people do, whereas I mull things over to much, worry that I'm doing the wrong thing.

OP posts:

Original poster

MsHarry · 20/08/2017 21:28

Only English and Maths is on the new grade system this year magoria, they are the little guinea pigs .

OP posts:

MsAwesomeDragon · 20/08/2017 21:28

little miss, could you perhaps link it to targets? So dd1 may have been offered £10 per A* because his targets were As, but ds2 might be offered £10 per B because his targets are C's? I do know some families who have done that, and the kids seem to understand that.

SauvignonBlanche · 20/08/2017 21:31

I'm taking DD out for dinner to celebrate, that's it.

She's mentioned that friends are being paid per grade, I just laughed!

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 20/08/2017 21:32

I got paid per grade I think (I definitely got money). Not sure what my friends did as I don't think it was discussed. This was 12yrs ago so I doubt £100 would have been for an eye.
To be honest, it didn't make me study any harder than if I didn't have the incentive so not sure I would do the same for DD when she does them. I will do something though

Original poster

MsHarry · 20/08/2017 21:33

Peppa that's not much for a whole eye!!! How much would they pay for a kidney?

OP posts:

Original poster

MsHarry · 20/08/2017 21:34

Sauvignon I need to cultivate that attitude, just laugh and carry on.

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Boulshired · 20/08/2017 21:34

There is a small age gap between my two eldest and I realised that one didn't have to try as hard academically as the other so rewards on grades would never work. It probably works best on one child or big age gaps. Mine are two competitive as it is without adding any more.

mumwithovertime · 20/08/2017 21:37

I have 5 dcs , youngest are twins about to collect gcse results , over the years we've had lots of results days and they all get the same , £50 cash in a card regardless of actual results , the money will be in the envelope before the results are known , they've worked hard and results don't always reflect effort made , so we say well done , proud of you and you're work ethic , no less of a reward for anyone with less good results !

MsGameandWatching · 20/08/2017 21:40

My parents didn't give two hoots about my grades, they didn't even care what options I chose. There was no encouragement at all, suffice to say I ended up with few qualifications. I see no harm in any kind of encouragement including financial.

hellsbells99 · 20/08/2017 21:42

We took DDs out for a celebratory meal and bought them a watch each (approx £80). Their grades were quite different but the one with lower grades had needed to work the hardest. The 'reward' was for effort and hard work. We were very proud of them both.

echt · 20/08/2017 21:44

Thanking God there are only one set of exams in Australia, at 18.
Anyway, DH and I never mentioned any reward for exams, but did give DD money after. Can't remember how much.

The big stuff was what DH paid DD for every year she didn't get a tattoo up to 21. Without telling me.

SqueeksAway · 20/08/2017 21:48

I told my ds I'd pay him (as always wished my parents had offered) he told me I couldn't afford it and he didn't want to be paid as he's predicted high grades

Here's hoping he's right!

Cheby · 20/08/2017 21:52

£100 for an A*?!! I got 12 of them; that would have been two family holidays for us when I was 16. NFW could my parents have afforded that.

I had some friends who got £10 per good pass (e.g. Predicted grade or above), but not many. My mum took us out to a really nice Chinese restaurant (if only had take away before) and I was pretty chuffed with that.

Rosieposy4 · 20/08/2017 21:56

I sit down with mine a few months before the exams.
We look at school predictions, their own predictions and sort a formula for each subject. So for dc4 good at geog and sciences an A* is worth much less than the equivalent (8/9! 😳) in english.
This is my 9 th consecutive year of school public exams with my own dc and whilst it does feel a little counterintuitive to me ( see pp about intrinsic motivation) tbh dc have appreciated it, and tbf even as a teacher i partly get paid on the basis of results.

MaisyPops · 20/08/2017 21:56

I like celebratory meals or treats.
I don't like pay per grade. It sends a message that things aren't worth doing unless somebody pays you to do it. Plus if they're so extrinsically motivated athen the world's going to be disappointing and difficult for them.

Not only that, I can think of some of my current GCSE students who worked their backsides off this year. What a kick in the teeth to not be rewarded as much because they only got a grade 7 and not an 8. Much nicer to celebrate their achievements for the process. I could probably predict roughly what the students will be doing 5 years from now and their attitude and approach is a bigger factor than their GCSE grade.

SavingM0neyChoice · 20/08/2017 21:57

My parents paid me £1 for passing every subject but was offered £5 to pass maths. The money did not motivate me at all. I enjoyed learning. I have been required to provide my original certificates when applying for job applications, so the exams have served their purpose as well as providing a wide range of knowledge as a foundation to build upon.

DorisDangleberry · 20/08/2017 21:58

I was going to post some sarcastic comment about there vs their. But as you fixed it in your first post, a cheque for £100 is winging its way to you. Make sure you cash it

MaisyPops · 20/08/2017 22:12

doris Is it bad that because of MN whenever I hear or see the word cheque, all I can think of is 'cancel the cheque!'

Bobbybobbins · 20/08/2017 22:13

I think a celebratory meal is a lovely idea and will probably be remembered over cash (maybe I'm being naive!!)

DorisDangleberry · 20/08/2017 22:15

I've cancelled it already!

btw, when I got my GCSEs and A Levels, I got fuck all form my parents. Apart from their enduring love of course. Which is shit compared with cold hard cash

NoBetterName · 20/08/2017 22:18

I wasn't given a reward for grades. I have a PhD in my field, so it clearly didn't do too much harm . I want my children to do well because it will give a sense of pride and achievement if they do well, not because I'm paying them to do well.

That said, my children are 12 and 9. I may be eating my words in 4 years time.

BertrandRussell · 20/08/2017 22:24

Both of mine are A type people. For both I bought a festival ticket wirh the deal that they would have to give me £2O back for every A they didn't get. Dd didn't have to pAy me anything- we will see what happens on Thursday with ds!

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