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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To never drive again?

128 replies

Wrongornot · 20/08/2017 14:30

I caused a car accident yesterday. I was turning left at a round about, in the left hand lane, however I took the turning too wide (2 lanes) and the car in the other lane clipped my front wing (my car only has minor damage) and I stopped instantly. However the other car left the road and hit a sign. We were all okay in my car but the other driver was injured.

I was given 3 points on my licence for careless driving.

I am now sure that I never want to drive again. I am still not really sure what happened as it was all so fast and can't put myself or others in that situation again. I have written my resignation to work (I live in the sticks and there is no way I can work without my car) and intend to hand it in tomorrow with immediate effect.

DH is furious as it means there will be huge changes for us if I am not working.

I also keep thiking that maybe the police will increase the charge (can they do that?) to dangerous driving and I will loose my licence anyway.

AIBU?

OP posts:
user1473069303 · 20/08/2017 15:39

Yes, it was an unfortunate thing to happen but there's no need for the OP to don a hair shirt for the rest of her life!

CappuccinoSprinkles · 20/08/2017 15:46

My accident was dealt with via insurance, I had a couple of phone calls in the first week to try and decide liability and then never heard anything again. If you aren't contesting anything the insurance companies just sort it out themselves I think.

Spangles1963 · 20/08/2017 15:47

Sorry if I'm being a bit slow here,but if the accident only happened yesterday,how come you have points on your licence for it already? Is this actually possible? When my brother got fined for speeding,he had 3 points put on his licence,but it took several weeks for this to happen.

AlexaAmbidextra · 20/08/2017 15:49

Amazing how some posters are blaming the other driver when presumably none of them were there. Hmm

Original poster
Wrongornot · 20/08/2017 15:57

Not sure if it is different in Scotland but just got a fixed penalty charge at the scene of the accident. Have to take it to a Court tomorrow and pay it or send a cheque with my licence within 21 days.

Thanks again for everyone's input. I realise some posters may be jumping the gun also blaming the other driver but everyone at the scene (inc off duty policeman) and everyone I have shown pics to has said the same thing. I don't blame her though at all, hence admitting liability at the scene -
Why would you not? If I hadn't been in her lane she wouldn't have had the chance to hit me.

I am feeling better reading these responses and am going to have something to eat and go for a walk. Luckily I am on holiday tomorrow so rather than going into work to hand in my notice I will take another day to think about things.

Thanks again, I really appreciate the support and all your views. 💐

OP posts:
AngeloftheSouth84 · 20/08/2017 15:59

Why on earth did you admit liability?

Trouble is, after an incident, you are not thinking straight.

TheFairyCaravan · 20/08/2017 16:07

Amazing how some posters are blaming the other driver when presumably none of them were there. hmm

I agree Alexa. The OP says there's no evidence that she was speeding, other than her car is mangled and her airbags went off. All any of us know is the poor young woman was in her lane and the OP crossed in to it pushing her off the road. I'd be pretty pissed off if someone did that to my kids especially if they went round saying they were speeding despite having no evidence of that.

VinoTime · 20/08/2017 16:13

Someone nearly smashed into me the other day at a roundabout in my town, but it's a tricky roundabout to get the hang of if you don't know it - and the lane directions are badly signposted. Depending on which part of the roundabout you're coming to, 'lane rules' change for the exits. So on one part of it, you need the right hand lane to go straight over, but if you're sitting at the opposite side wanting to go straight over, you need the left hand lane. It's utterly bonkers and I've seen so many near-crashes! Thankfully I noticed the woman was a little unsure and I managed to avoid the bump, but it still left me feeling a bit jittery (I had DD in the car with me and the passengers side would have been the side to get crunched).

Having a scrape can be a huge shock to the system, OP. But you need to remember that we are human beings, we make mistakes, and everybody driving around in any car at any time could potentially cause an accident. It takes a split second to become distracted or make a silly error. And we all do it. There are no perfect people and by extension, no perfect drivers!

Take a couple of days and just breathe. Don't do anything rash! And I applaud you for admitting liability. If you know you were in the wrong, regardless of it just being a silly error, then it's the right (and moral) thing to do.

Have a cuppa and enjoy your walk Flowers

Farfromtheusual · 20/08/2017 16:29

Yes, your insurance company should tell you if she is putting in a personal injury claim.

You would lose a years no claims and your premium will go up but that should be it, unless you are contesting liability. Which you aren't, so it should be fairly quick and simple to wrap up.

AngeloftheSouth84 · 20/08/2017 16:42

She was speeding!

How do you know? If there were two lanes, it sounds like it could have been a dual carriageway, where the speed limit was possibly 70mph

Piratesandpants · 20/08/2017 16:46

Look, calm down and get perspective on this. Then face up to your responsibilities - do a refresher driving course, make sure you avoid distractions such as the radio etc etc. Your responsibilities include contributing to family income. Your DH shouldn't suffer because of your mistake.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 20/08/2017 17:20

I agree you need to get a better perspective of this-it was one accident. Saying you're never driving again is pretty extreme & I'm certain I'd be fucked off if DH announced he was quitting his job with zero discussion.
Also agree that no-one should be blaming the other driver on the info given here & zero supporting evidence, that's really not on.

TDHManchester · 20/08/2017 17:29

OP,you are still in shock,,take that letter and shred it. In a couple of weeks time you will feel better. You are not the first person to have a bump. Take up the challenge, get some driving lessons to build confidence again.

Belindaboom · 20/08/2017 18:42

@angel - how many dual carriage ways do you know of that have roundabouts?!

DanHumphreyIsA · 20/08/2017 19:30

YANBU to feel like this but YABU to not drive again. I had a crash a couple of months ago, it wasn't my fault, a newish driver didn't stop at a roundabout when it was my right of way. He went flying into someones front garden. Luckily there were no injuries, but I still felt awful even though it wasn't my fault, nothing I could have done differently. I still feel like I never want to drive again, but I need to for work, food shopping etc. So I just try to make it easier for myself.
For example, I go to a supermarket a bit further away because the route is easier, less busy, than to a supermarket which is a lot closer. If I need to go somewhere where I know is a nightmare for me to drive, I plan it around quiet times, and go late at night instead.
Take some refresher courses. Think about getting a smaller car if that's possible (it might make it easier to judge how much space you have when turning).
Instead of resigning, can you take some time off instead? It gives you a break from needing to drive.

notreallythere · 20/08/2017 19:45

Belindaboom - Milton Keynes for one has a ton of them!

aintnothinbutagstring · 20/08/2017 19:57

I wouldn't have admitted liability, maybe easier for the police but the girl should have been checking her side mirrors and thus could have avoided clipping you. So many accidents are 50/50. Chalk it down as an unfortunate incident and carry on with your life.

aintnothinbutagstring · 20/08/2017 20:01

Lots of dual carriageways have roundabouts but probably not good to approach and go round them at whatever the speed limit is, slow right down and check mirrors as you proceed round and exiting.

AngeloftheSouth84 · 20/08/2017 20:12

@Belindaboom

Loads of dual carriageways have roundabouts on them. Its how they tend to intersect with other roads. Motorways on the other hand have grade separated junctions.

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 20/08/2017 20:30

May I gently suggest, as others have, that you don't make any rash decisions while you are still in shock.

Regardless of any other decisions you make in the future, I also suggest you get some trauma counselling as you've obviously been through an awful incident and you are understandably very shaken by it. Please try and be kind and gentle with yourself xx

minionsrule · 20/08/2017 20:40

Not sure if insurers will tell you about any injury claim but doubt it will have further repercussions anyway. Your excess is in respect of own damage only, not TP damage or injury and as pp mentioned you would lose ncd anyway as you were at fault.

Nice big glass of wine for you tonight x

Original poster
Wrongornot · 20/08/2017 20:52

Thanks you, can't tell you all how much better I feel reading all these posts (whatever your view). You are all very kind Smile

I am going to go out a short drive with DH in the morning and see how I get on.

Thanks again, I really appreciate everyone taking the time to make me feel easier about the whole situation.

OP posts:
Roussette · 20/08/2017 21:19

Well done Wrongornot and good luck tomorrow Flowers

kylerichards · 21/08/2017 09:06

Over reacting slightly , I walked out of our canteen last night . Misjudged my stepping and fell into someone sitting down . It's just one of those things . Best thing you can do is get back in your car and drive somewhere far . I certainly wouldn't quit my job . Thousands of people crash every day

Falconhoof1 · 21/08/2017 10:15

I nearly caused an accident recently and I am mortified. I got flashed at, beeped and I was horrified at myself for my stupidity. I couldn't sleep that night and thought of ways I could avoid driving on this difficult (for me!) road again. I also vowed that I would be so careful when driving from now on. i know you must be feeling and I didn't actually even have an accident. Just try and learn from it and good luck.