Burst into tears because I made DC miss their train?

[Stupidstupidmistake]

I feel awful.

DC works in London, it's a good job and did really well to get it. I drop off and pick up from station usually.

Today there were engineering works, so our nearest station was closed. I looked up the times for the next station on the line (which is open) and hustled DC out the door to get there.

When we arrived it had left 5 mins previously.

I couldn't stop crying for about 10 mins. Feel I have left DC down.

The next train was not for 30 mins. It gets into London 20 mins before their shift starts but it's a 10-15 min walk from the station and they have to change into uniform when they arrive...so it will be very tight.

I get really worried about timekeeping because I work somewhere where anyone who is even a minute late has it noted against their record, and if you're late 3 times (whether half hour each time or 1 minute) you get an informal warning. DC works for a different colour, and assures me they won't be in trouble if they are late, but I don't want them to get a warning for something that was entirely my fault, or to lose their (really good) job because of me.

Hence why I was so upset...but aibu to react like this?

Different company sorry, not colour.

I should think your dc is worried about you if you cried.

Dc could have taken responsibility for finding out train times.

I feel you as being late makes me very anxious myself but I think crying may be an over-reaction. Perhaps you were having a lousy day or perhaps this is something you should explore more deeply

I hope you didn't cry like that in front of your DC! Seems very emotionally manipulative to make the situation all about you and how you feel, when really it isn't about you at all.

I think it's a bit of an overreaction, tbh. How old is DC? If they're old enough to have job, they're old enough to arrange the journey timings themselves, I think - so even if you drive them, they should work out when you need to leave and check for station/line closures.

It's hardly your fault. It would have been an idea to check live train times on the net earlier in the day though plus they were cutting it fine timewise anyway. Don't beat yourself up. If they're old enough to work they're old enough to work out how to get there on time.

DC should have checked the train times. You were already doing them a massive favour driving them to the station.

I understand having anxiety around timekeeping as I suffer from it myself, but chances are your dc will get there in time anyway, and most places are not as strict as your work, so I'm sure it'll be fine. Your dc will be worried and upset about you being upset so try to let it go, these things really can't be helped sometime

Yes, YABU. If your DC is old enough to work they are old enough to make sure they leave enough time / account for works etc.

And they will also have a good idea about whether being a minute late will count against them.

EH? they'll be fine. It's a non event. Are you usually so quick to cry?

ElizabethShaw that's rather unkind. I don't think OP was being manipulative in any way!

My children would be really worried about me if I reacted like this. Are you generally all right, OP?

Incidentally, did your DC check the train times too?

Old enough to work then old enough to cycle to the station. And organize their own transport
Your reaction is not normal...havw you spoken to your gp ?

DC is 18.

I do get very anxious about timekeeping, I think due to my employers attitude. DC are far more laid back than me.

I was distraught that I'd got the time wrong and caused a problem. I wasn't doing it to be emotionally manipulative. I feel really upset and disappointed in myself for letting DC down.

It's DC's job to make sure they make their train, not yours, you're doing them a favour by giving lifts.

Are you under any other stress to cause you to react like this?

It will be fine. Either they will arrive on time, or they will be 10 mins late and a simple "really sorry, normal train was cancelled - ill make up the time at lunch/end of the day" would suffice.

It's rather disproportionate, I think. Couldn't your son/daughter (not sure why the gender has to be disguised as 'they') just ring his or her employer and explain that her local station was closed because of engineering work, hence he or she'll be late?

I don't understand why you found it so upsetting. I concur with other posters: let your son or daughter arrange their own travel in future.

No point crying about it. She'll get there when she gets there, and if it is a couple of minutes late, then that's just the way it is.

I think you're more than a little over involved with your adult childs job, don't you?

If your child is old enough to have a job, they are old enough to figure out how to get there. Why are you researching train tunes and "hustling them out of the door"?

Train tunes? Train tunes!

Surely as a working person, your child can figure out the train times and not rely on you to do it? If this is the works relating to Euston and Euston station being closed, this has been in notice for at least two weeks (that far extended that I'm in the Midlands and it's been notified at stations up here)

Your child would have seen this too.

They got there on time and didn't get a warning so you need to try to stop being hard on yourself and remember you don't need to parent your working child to the extent of shouldering the responsibility of getting them to work on time.

Bastard auto text. Train times.

Your reaction is very OTT, OP. Is there anything else going on with you at the minute?

Why are you looking up train times for an 18 year old, fair enough to give them a lift but they should be telling you when you need to leave.