I apologise for the length of this post.
I'm currently facing the end of a temporary (bank) contract and will be free from the beginning of September.
I'm living in a flat as my house is being fully refurbished. The work should be finished/I'll be moving back in at the end of September.
I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD-PI (the new name for ADD), I am in the early stages of my first prescription and currently getting doses tweaked. My next appointment is early October.
The first effects are subtle, but amazing. I can focus and concentrate for the first time ever.
Now, you little nest of vipers/bunch of champions, this is where you come in.
I am at a loss to know what to do next.
I don't have the qualifications required to start on a degree course.
I had to drop out of a Higher Tier GCSE Maths course earlier this year as the amount of work required on top of what was taught in the Lower Tier class was too much.
Over £800 down the fucking drain because I couldn't get my act together. I'm kicking myself, but enough self-flagellation.
I'm overweight (BMI 27), unfit with some mobility/foot and ankle issues, I can see my face and body deteriorating every time I see myself in the mirror, the menopause is starting to come in (hot flushes, hyperhidrosis and blotching blushes, nice), I'm wildly underqualified (washing beakers requires a degree, apparently) and I want to have a wishlist of stuff I want to achieve. Life goals.
I can't drive, have few friends (5 Facebook friends and some goodwill from my soon-to-be former colleagues), have cross-stitch projects I haven't touched in years and no family near me.
I'm the eldest of three, one abroad and one with kids in London.
All but one of my parents' entire generation are deceased. So far, nobody makes it past 69 in my family.
I have absolutely no clue what to do with myself, but I am conscious of the fact I have another 18/19 years before I retire and there's a good chance I won't see retirement. ☠
I'm 'lucky' in that both my parents are deceased and they owned property in London.
After an iniquitous amount of IHT, I am comfortable, and, with good money management, can afford not to work for a year or two.
Instead of launching into another frenzied and upsetting round of job searching, all the while trying to pack up the flat, move back into my house and settle all bills, I feel the need to take a step back and take stock.
I'm mortgage free. I have spare money and can pay for a holiday (visiting sibling abroad or something), courses, lessons and trainers.
I am conscious of the phrase "You can do anything, but you can't do everything".
Now I have the (drug assisted) capacity to focus and concentrate, all of a sudden, I'm like an over excited child in a sweet shop being told that I can only have one sweetie.
I have never been able to apply myself academically, beyond GCSE and ONC, would not know how to and don't know what to do first.
Life coaching? Careers coaching? Personal trainer? Full on therapy? Driving lessons?
So here are the questions.
WWYD?
What have you done?
How did you find the subject you wanted to study?
How did you 'commit' to a way of life?
There are children out there with a clearer idea of what they want to do than me and are striving towards career goals already.
Fuck me. I don't know what I'll eat for breakfast tomorrow.
Are there courses or lessons about life management? How to prioritise?
How does one acquire the nebulous, barely defined life skills that allow people to plan and execute, rather than letting life just hit you with random stuff?
This post has been edited by MNHQ
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AIBU?
Gap yah at 49? Mid-life crisis? Self improvement? WIBU?
98 replies
Gingernaut · 19/08/2017 17:28
OP posts:
FrancisCrawford ·
19/08/2017 18:27
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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