Date with guy off Internet tonight ..am I right to be cautious?

[Kellyo31]

Date with a guy from online dating tonight.
Originally the plan was to come over to my town (20 min from him) and go to beach /couple of drinks,now he is saying after the beach go to his town for drinks.
I said why? It's going to be a hassle for nothing.
He is insisting ..
I can't help but think the thinks if he gets me drunk near to him il go back to his place with him.
What do you reckon?
I want to stay in familiar surroundings first date

He is insisting is he? Tell him to fuck right off, the entitled wanker

Just tell him you won't be going to his town after. It's a "no"

If he doesn't accept that, cancel.

I think you may have misconstrued things, now that you've shown us your texts, OP. He isn't talking about a packet but a pack of cards. He is making a series of jokes about playing cards, ending up with saying you could be his "queen of hearts". So, there is no mention of contraceptives! Still wouldn't be keen on him, though, due to him "insisting" on anything at this stage.

Ah now seen cross post. He meant cards!

Most guys OLD I've been in contact with get huffy if you suggest condoms..so, I could be a bit off kilter here, but talking about bringing condoms is responsible..

What isn't is rail-roading you or making you feel uncomfortable. That's not on and you're well within your rights to tell him so.

The pack of cards message is cute. Insisting on going far away is weird

My fault entirely ..typing at work and trying to read and reply.
He could be my soul mate and I've been slagging him off all over the net ha ha
Oops

He sounds like a knob if his text style is anything to go by.

But then I'm picky, I discounted a guy without meeting him due to the fact he used lol as punctuation - want to get dinner tonight lol, want to get a drink lol.

Why not meet him at the beach, see if you click and if you do make a decision to go on for further drinks. If not cut your losses and go home.

If that's your soul mate you have set the bar really low, so low, that not even a slug could get under it.

Please reconsider. I know a date is a date. It's lovely to be asked, but set the bar higher in future.

Oops ok he meant cards!!!

Meet up and see how it goes. You were right to keep your boundaries up re staying in your town - keep it that way.

Oh op..

Make sure you stick to busy places and keep safe! You'll have to update us how it goes, hope you have a nice evening.

well why would you "get drunk" with someone you don't know?

I once had a man buy me an alcoholic drink "accidentally". He claimed to not have known the drink had alcohol in it.

Perhaps he really was that clueless, perhaps he just thought I'd drink it after he had bought it already so it wasn't wasted.

Some of those fuckers are really manipulative. It is always better to be careful, and not too overconfident in your own ability to stay firm.

Elendon 😅😅

You are right to be cautious. Listen to that inner voice - better safe than sorry. That intuition should help you to stay safe. In many cases it's brushed aside. It's there to warn you and I'm sorry to sound like a wet blanket.
No doubt you want to have a lovely time with this new bloke who sounds nice but you hardly know him. There really are lots of nicer men around.

Keep to the original plan or don't go.

I dunno but it seems these days i came from a different era but if i was dating a lady online I'd take great care to make sure she feels safe somewhere where shes relaxed and feels secure like a restaurant in her home town or somewhere she knows.

I wouldn't expect her to travel some miles to come over and see me at all.

And no packs of condoms either!, just don't expect or want sex on a first date experience has shown me that that's left for some while after you get to know her better and you have an attraction to her and vice versa.

Don't go to the beach OP

I'd not go to his town either

Ha, oh lol at pack of cards.

He's insisting that you end up somewhere that is more difficult/expensive for you to get home? Sorry but it sounds like he wants sex. Which is fine per se, if that's what you want, but it would put me off. I met my DH online but experienced plenty of creeps beforehand unfortunately

It's a red flag to me although if he's sticking to the original plan now I guess that's better.

I was talking to a guy online who works in my city but lives in another an hour away. He wanted me to get the train there. I just messaged this:

'Sorry, i don't feel comfortable doing that and would rather we make plans here for the first date'.

He never replied so I feel like I had a lucky escape!

You can be assertive without being rude. Decent men will respect that.

Trust your intuition. It's there to keep you safe. By all means meet him in a crowded place, but be very firm if he wants to take you for drinks elsewhere. His insistence is what makes it a bit creeepy.

A gentleman would want his date to feel safe and make sure his date could get home safely.
He doesn't sound like much of a gentleman to me.

Op this man is looking for a fuck, he comes across as being disrespectful to boot.

Bin him off, block, delete, next.

And raise your dating bar a few notches.

Take a spy (friend) with you but they sit elsewhere like inspector cluso to keep an eye on ya. Watch your drink. Just stay vigilant. Or cancel.

Hmmm... I'm probably over cautious---- as my opinion of men in general is pretty low. But I think if I were meeting someone for the first time I'd want to just meet for a coffee, or go to the pub and not drink alcohol so I could drive home. Very boring I know, but I'd want to be in control of the situation and know I was safe. Beach and drinks sounds great, but maybe save that for next time once you've met him and sussed him out a bit?