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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Date with guy off Internet tonight ..am I right to be cautious?

119 replies

Kellyo31 · 19/08/2017 13:45

Date with a guy from online dating tonight.
Originally the plan was to come over to my town (20 min from him) and go to beach /couple of drinks,now he is saying after the beach go to his town for drinks.
I said why? It's going to be a hassle for nothing.
He is insisting ..
I can't help but think the thinks if he gets me drunk near to him il go back to his place with him.
What do you reckon?
I want to stay in familiar surroundings first date

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 19/08/2017 14:14

Yep cancel.
He wants you near his so he can suggest you pop back to his for a coffee or something. Him insisting would be enough to put me off.

BluePheasant · 19/08/2017 14:15

Don't bother. "Bring a packet", and now he's trying to get you further away from home. Pretty clear what he wants and if you decide you don't want that then you have all the hassle of getting home again on your own.

FizzyGreenWater · 19/08/2017 14:16

Sorry, everything you've posted so far about him says 'creep'. The insisting even more than the sleazy 'joke'. A nice guy should understand entirely why you want to feel safe on a first date...

Glad you are sticking to the original plan and don't hesitate to throw this one back.

QuiteUnfitBit · 19/08/2017 14:17

He is insisting
Absolute red flag. Cancel date.

Elendon · 19/08/2017 14:18

If you keep agreeing to change of plans then you are perceived as being malleable.

Personally, I wouldn't go to the beach unless there is a crowd there or an event there and even so, I would make sure there are friends there too.

If you feel uncomfortable about it then cancel. With no apologies either.

Mumek · 19/08/2017 14:18

Please don't leave your drink unattended either.

Original poster
Kellyo31 · 19/08/2017 14:19

It's quite a busy beach and he means the arcades etc not actually on the beach.
I have friends in town tonight so if he was a creep they are near by to meet.

OP posts:
Elendon · 19/08/2017 14:20

What's your determination of a creep though? as if there aren't enough red flags already

Zaphodsotherhead · 19/08/2017 14:22

A man should be sensitive enough to realise that a woman wants to feel safe when she first meets him. If he isn't, then he's not really a keeper. And any man who insists that a woman changes her plans in his favour, doesn't have the faintest idea of what it's like to be out of your depth with a man you don't entirely trust.

Your plan sounds good, OP. Stick to your guns, stay close to home, and fuck him if he starts to get whiny.
(I mean fuck him figuratively, not literally).

Trb17 · 19/08/2017 14:23

Bring a packet?! Ugh classy bloke - that would end it for me.

SleightOfHand · 19/08/2017 14:23

You're sensing something is wrong OP. He sounds dodgy. I personally wouldn't go if a man I hadn't met made comments like that and failing to put me at my ease regarding a first meet up.

Gotanewusernamenow · 19/08/2017 14:25

Yes that would put me off him too.Bring a packet ! Cheeky git!

Original poster
Kellyo31 · 19/08/2017 14:26

Ok so I've just Re read the conversation and I don't think he meant condoms Blush
Il try and post a pic

Date with guy off Internet tonight ..am I right to be cautious?
OP posts:
Lukeandlorelai4Ever · 19/08/2017 14:27

Keep safe op

mummymummums · 19/08/2017 14:27

Bring a packet??? Why would he ask that Hmm He wants to be sure you're up for it I think. How did you respond to that little gem OP?
Normally someone might bring one if they felt optimistic but to ask means he's definitely all about the sex.

userofthiswebsite · 19/08/2017 14:29

From your visual sounds like he is referring to playing cards.

Original poster
Kellyo31 · 19/08/2017 14:31

I read the message whilst at work not really paying attention to the conversation and when I seen "il bring a pack"
I automatically thought of condoms
What a fool

OP posts:
ILoveMillhousesDad · 19/08/2017 14:32

Yes, think he means pack of cards as u have said something about playing his cards right.

Elendon · 19/08/2017 14:33

'You could be my Queen of Hearts'

He could be your 'joker'

The could be will be him sizing you up and seeing if you are fit enough for him.

Take control!

Gotanewusernamenow · 19/08/2017 14:33

Yes he's definitely on about a pack of playing cards going off that convo!
Still be careful though to stay in a busy area.

ILoveMillhousesDad · 19/08/2017 14:34

Maybe he just wants to show off to his mates or something, but do what you're comfortable with. I wouldn't fancy getting the train home late alone though. Just tell him that. If he doesn't get it, then forget it.

Zaphodsotherhead · 19/08/2017 14:35

I still don't think he should want you outside your comfort zone, condoms or cards. Stay where you feel secure.

WattdeEll · 19/08/2017 14:35

Kelly. Ignoring the pack of cards issue, people are telling you not to ignore the red flags here. do not ignore your inner voice, the insisting, the plans changing to suit him do not sit right.
You don't owe him anything.

Elendon · 19/08/2017 14:36

Why would you describe yourself as

'Your worst nightmare'

Are you the bride of Frankenstein?

BluePheasant · 19/08/2017 14:36

Oh god, yes I think he was just trying to be jokey, he meant cards Grin

Anyway, just be super careful, same as you would with anyone you meet off the Internet.