Moving to London. AIBU, or is my mum?

[purpleroses78]

Thought I'd let the lovely ladies of Mumsnet weigh in here.

I am due to move to London (not even central - I'm in the suburbs) on Thursday. We're from a super tiny rural village, which my parents have never left and is pretty much 100% white. Sadly to say, DM is pretty racist. After the events in Barcelona/Finland, DM keeps making teary declarations about me being blown up. She won't visit because she doesn't like multiculturalism and is convinced she'll die in an attack. I am an only child (21yo for reference) and DM has some extreme 'precious first born' tendencies towards me. But she thinks I shouldn't move because 'terrorism/rape/knives/guns/murder/mopeds' and is really putting a downer on me. Am I really going to get stabbed to death in the street?! Or is she insane?? How do I make it to next Thursday without absolutely losing it at her? Have tried showing her statistics but she thinks it's some kind of government conspiracy and won't believe them.

Well I've lived here for a long time now and none of those things has happened to me. London is a wonderful place to live.

YANBU. Which area of London is it? I'm in London and love it. Yes it can be dangerous, so can anywhere! You will be fine OP. Just keep calm if she keeps on at you. Good luck with the move.

Yanbu

How did she think London maintains a population of so many millions of people if you're guaranteed to get attached there?

I've lived in south London since 2006 and I'm still unscathed...

I've lived in London almost all
My live. I've walked home at night past pimps, prostitutes and drug dealers. I've been offered work but that's the worst that's happened!

The only time anything physical happened was when I got water thrown at me from an upstairs window. A group of male teenagers, with their gold chains and baggy bum jeans saw it happen and came to see if I was alright.

Although I grew up in the burbs and they are proper scary, so depends how far out you're living. I find that in the centre everyone just gets on, but the tension can exist in the outskirts, the old fashioned white working class areas for a better description.

Just think of how much more fun you can have if she doesn't visit.

I have family in Dunblane.

Raaaaaah!

.

Have a great time, OP, and welcome to London. It takes getting used to, it can be busy, noisy, grimy. But treat it like an adventure, explore and enjoy, and chat to people.

Just be a bit street wise. Don't walk along engrossed in your phone, keep your bag done up and don't dangle it over the back of your chair in a pub.

Nothing more than common sense is needed, though, and nothing bad has ever happened to me.

So, just tell her that yes, it will be dreadful, but if you get stabbed or shott then the hospitals are really good at dealing with gunshot wounds.

Whereare you going? Most areas are fine.

Remind her you are more likely to get raped and/or murdered by someone you know.
Although she'll rubbish it, keep saying it (and believe it).

Mopeds??

Tell her to stop being a racist twat.

I've lived here five year and touch wood been fine so far. I also get the texts from dm whenever an attack has happened along the lines of 'be careful on the tube/out an about' but there's nothing you can do to be careful! If it happens, it happens but really it does sound like your dm is overreacting massively. Moving to the city will be the making of you op.

I'm going to Wimbledon. Which I think is fairly nice, but what do I do know?! Apparently everywhere is a slum.

Welcme to yur new life in London 😁

drspouse Mopeds as in moped muggings (I assume anyway).

Tell her it's now safer to live on our planet than at any previous time in history, despite what the news may lead you to believe!

She thinks crime statistics are a government conspiracy?

I think it's a good thing you are moving away.

Years ago my ex ranted and raved about a place I intended to visit on another continent whilst travelling , yes an unsafe place if you are stupid or unlucky but I needed to live my own life and explore , long story short there was indeed a nasty murder , however it was in the street next to my ex's house in his nice rural village .... bad things and good things can happen everywhere , don't let someone wrap you in cotton wool and hold you back from your dreams

Wimbledon is lovely. Your parents are sheltered! Have a great time!

Your mum sounds much like mine - when I moved to the city she refused to visit me (she did after 2 years). Now I've moved out to a town, she expresses regret that she never managed to visit enough! My mum has never left the countryside - she grew up there and never moved away. I remember feeling quite sad that she couldn't be happy or positive about a new chapter of my life. Fortunately my dad was well travelled and not from the area so at least he balanced out the negativity! You will have a great time, just as with any city - common sense and you'll be fine.

Right, so generally London is pretty horrible but there are some parts of it that have a really nice village feel to them (because they used to be villages presumably). Just go to these spots and take pictures and keep sending to her until she learns to calm down a bit.

Enjoy London (and some freedom) and keep your common sense about you, that's it. Please don't carry any ideas or fear about other people and different races / culture. You will meet a lot of lovely people in London.

Wimbledon! Does she think you're going to get mugged by a Womble?! It's very genteel there, and you will love London.

My brother lived in Wimbledon for a year and now lives in the next town over because he loves it there. We visited a few times and it's a really lovely place. We're from a small town up North and we felt really safe in Wimbledon