Moving to London. AIBU, or is my mum?

[purpleroses78]

Thought I'd let the lovely ladies of Mumsnet weigh in here.

I am due to move to London (not even central - I'm in the suburbs) on Thursday. We're from a super tiny rural village, which my parents have never left and is pretty much 100% white. Sadly to say, DM is pretty racist. After the events in Barcelona/Finland, DM keeps making teary declarations about me being blown up. She won't visit because she doesn't like multiculturalism and is convinced she'll die in an attack. I am an only child (21yo for reference) and DM has some extreme 'precious first born' tendencies towards me. But she thinks I shouldn't move because 'terrorism/rape/knives/guns/murder/mopeds' and is really putting a downer on me. Am I really going to get stabbed to death in the street?! Or is she insane?? How do I make it to next Thursday without absolutely losing it at her? Have tried showing her statistics but she thinks it's some kind of government conspiracy and won't believe them.

You definitely need to move out.

Once you live elsewhere, she absolutely can't stop you from going on whatever holidays you want.

Move to Wimbkedon, which is a lovely place to live. Enjoy all of the amazing benefits of living in London. Invite your DM to stay and ignore any silly snipes.

Not allowing you to go to parties and inter railing isn't PFB at 21, it's weird. Time to live your life. She will have the choice of allowing that and having a good relationship with you or fighting and losing you.

Let's hope she makes a good choice.

Wimbledon is a pretty smart bit of town. You'll have a great time.

Bahahhaa at Wimbledon causing any kind of worry - it is officially Posh London!

I can confirm Wimbledon is very posh and villagey. If you were moving to Peckham or Tooting I could understand her worry.

OP that's so crap - just try not to catch her anxiety let it spoil your big move! It definitely sounds like you need to move out.

London is great. As PP have said, just exercise a sensible amount of caution. Be discreet with your phone and any expensive jewellery or watches for example. Be attentive when crossing roads.

Wimbledon is just lovely. Honestly it must be one of the poshest, safest parts of London.

You know what, I'm actually feeling really jealous of you the more I think about it. You're 21 and moving to London for the first time - it will be such an adventure.

This is one of the problems with our 24 hour news culture though and especially with publications like the Mail - it causes us to massively inflate certain risks in our minds (when they're actually pretty improbable) while diminishing greater risks!

How's it going in Wimbledon OP? Are you enjoying it, is your mum a bit calmer now you're actually there?

Lived here all my life and was the victim of a street robbery once .. Once.

Your DM needs to get a grip . I am in a Borough of high crime as well . Lewisham Borough .

You will be fine OP but I can sort of see why your DM might worry if its that rural your village.

Oh Wimbledon !! I'd say that's a pretty nice subhurb

If you allow your mother to control you life with her emotional blackmail, she will never, ever stop. It's time for you to make your own decisions and she doesn't have to like them.

Love multi-cultural London - though after nearly 20 years am still waiting to be stabbed, shot or raped! I feel very very safe and secure here. Not sure I would have liked Wimbledon aged 21 (nice as it is) - but move and enjoy - then move on to zone 1 and have some real fun!

I had the same issue with my dad 19 years ago when I moved from outskirts of Glasgow. I am still living in London. London is great. There is nowhere else in UK like it. Just be reasonably aware of your surroundings and you will be fine.

And my dad still hates coming here! My mum loves it as apparently m&s in London gets different stock to all the m&s in Scotland

Yet another one coming to say Wimbledon is lovely. I live a short bus ride away. Also you're within reach of Richmond, Twickenham, big parks & beautiful river walks. I bet if your mum visited you she'd find that it was nothing like her vision of London.

Wimbledon is a pretty posh and sleepy bit of London. I'm in Hackney and although I've never personally been a victim of crime here, it's pretty common to hear about it through friends who have been affected or at least witnessed or passed by it happening. On local streets in the past few months we've had acid attacks, sexual assaults, stabbings, men running around with cleavers, and phone snatching. But I love it here and life is always interesting!