Moving to London. AIBU, or is my mum?

[purpleroses78]

Thought I'd let the lovely ladies of Mumsnet weigh in here.

I am due to move to London (not even central - I'm in the suburbs) on Thursday. We're from a super tiny rural village, which my parents have never left and is pretty much 100% white. Sadly to say, DM is pretty racist. After the events in Barcelona/Finland, DM keeps making teary declarations about me being blown up. She won't visit because she doesn't like multiculturalism and is convinced she'll die in an attack. I am an only child (21yo for reference) and DM has some extreme 'precious first born' tendencies towards me. But she thinks I shouldn't move because 'terrorism/rape/knives/guns/murder/mopeds' and is really putting a downer on me. Am I really going to get stabbed to death in the street?! Or is she insane?? How do I make it to next Thursday without absolutely losing it at her? Have tried showing her statistics but she thinks it's some kind of government conspiracy and won't believe them.

OP don't be scared!
London is just a network of villages - just explore, read Time Out magazine or website for ideas on where to do and what to do, and get stuck in to all the amazing things on offer here!
I've lived in zone 2 for 10 years now and never once have I felt vaguely threatened. There are good people and bad people everywhere in this world. You get out of life what you put in - so explore, spend weekends in different parts of town, and find which areas you love the best. Might be Greenwich, Camden, Hampstead, South Bank or anywhere in between. It's a glorious city to live in X

Wimbledon is a lovely area, as others have said.

Your mum is wrong (so so many levels). Her loss at not coming to visit.

She sounds loopy.

Aren't there more guns in the countryside anyway?

Also I'd recommend this book- www.amazon.co.uk/d/Books/Time-Out-Little-Black-Book-London/1905042531?tag=mumsnetforum-21

Even as a born and bred Londoner I found it had some wonderful hidden gems.

I always look at those exclusively white countryside villages and think in bred gun owning nut jobs - Michael Ryan, Thomas Hamilton, Raoul Moat, etc .....then I think mass murderers ..... Brady, Nilsen, Shipman ..... oddly not a sniff of multiculturalism amongst them.

I went to school in Wimbledon, lovely area, not too hectic like central London but great for transport to get further in to London. Take pictures of Wimbledon village and Cannizzaro park when you've settled in to show what a lovely place it is. Enjoy! x

Argh, put x on MN post. Apologies!

Thanks for the reminder of why I never want to move out of London to the 'burbs. I couldn't bear the narrow mindedness.

Echoing what PP have said - Wimbledon is a great part of the city to live in. You'll love it! Happy moving day.

Another Wimbledonian here it's fab! A great place to live, you will love it. I'm sure your mum will too if she comes to visit

I think it has been said but...

Wimbledon is probably one of the 'naice' est bits of London.
You'll have to dodge yummy mummys with their prams and city bankers out on runs.

Show your mum photos of Wimbledon Village - it is beautiful and very quaint.

Are you commuting into more central London for work? Is that her worry too?

Just ignore, get through and be glad you are breaking free.

I live in Wimbledon, its lovely. The Village is very friendly, town in very busy but have never seen anything bad. Of course you have to look after yourself (like you should do anywhere) don't wander around late at night, especially after drinking. There is a meetup group for 20-40 year olds called the Wombles if you need to meet people, very friendly group who plan various events. Good luck!

Entirely probable that she'd say the same of any city/big town & this is literally just about you moving on and away from her - she just can't say 'don't leave me'.

@Flyingprettycretonnecurtains What's wrong with the 93 bus?! I used it yesterday, got me where I needed to be! 😁

Ive lived here 15 years and never been mugged or like that. The bad bits are easy to stay away from, the rest are fine. To be perfectly honest, the people I interact with at work and see on the tube are far better behaved, and I have far more in common with them, than I suspect I would with most white people in weird little villages. You will probably be surprised at how middle class all the non-white people are in London compared to your mum's propaganda.

I expect she lives a tiny dull life and is selfishly desperate for you not to go so you can keep her company. Live your life when you are young. You can move back to Snoozeville when you're old if you want to.

Keep your eyes and ears open, don't go about with your eyes fixed to the screen and don't shoulder your bag. Wear it satchel-style across your body.

If you're going out by yourself, stay sober.

If you're going out with people, stay togethet and don't drink so much that you render yourself helpless.

I felt safer in London than I do in Wolves. The sheer mass of people means there are always witnesses handy.

Here in Wolves, after 6pm it's dead, with the homeless beggars for company.

Good luck. Take sensible precautions and enjoy yourself.

Welcome to London! You'll love it here and amongst the millions of us, the likelihood (although not unexistent) of you getting hurt is very small. Multiculturalism here is AMAZING (I'm also from a small farm in Devon where everyone was white) and I love love love the culture!

Ive seen Misomer Murders-bloody dangerous those little villages. 😉

Are we sisters, OP? My mum is exactly the same. I can only advise that you get tooled up and observe any curfews in place 😉

I'm off to the Big Town to the theatre tonight. Was taking my Mum as a treat but she's refused to go and relinquished her ticket. She will be on tenterhooks until I return in one piece. My DH thinks she's bonkers.

Make up some statistics:

You're more likely to get killed by a cow than a gun.
You're more likely to get run over by a tractor than a moped.
You're more likely to be raped by a white person than any other colour.

Whatever might work for her.

happystory She reads the Daily Mail religiously. Can you tell?

Like Stilldriving, the countryside scares me far more than the city. Sarah Payne....Lin and Megan Russell.....the Soham murders.....all manner of horror lurks in the rural
idyll. I'm far happier and feel safer in an urban environment than somewhere deserted. Tell your mum that

Wimbledon is lovely.
I'd move back there if l could.
I'm from there originally!

Wimbledon is lovely but it won't do you any harm to listen to your Mum and become more aware.
Keep a tight hold on your bag & never put it down, don't have valuables on show in public and walk purposefully.
South Wimbledon and Colliers Wood are rather less lovely but still the likelihood of being a victim is pretty low if you just use common sense.
Your Mum is being unreasonable to expect you to hide away in a village for the rest of your life. You are young & should love the London experience.

I should say that I do listen to my mum on a lot of points, but it's also a bit strained because I missed out on a lot of experiences (not allowed to go to parties, still not allowed to go inter-railing with my friends at 21, etc).

I think I was basically an angel of a teenager (no drink, no drugs, A* results and a 1st at uni), but she talks about me like I'm a terror!