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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed with this topless lady?

581 replies

user3785022135267845922 · 18/08/2017 13:09

... we r on holiday in a family resort in sunny country. There is a lady who keeps ending up on the sun loungers opposite us, who seems to enjoy lying topless by the pool everyday. She has a DS who looks about 15, and a DD who looks about 5.

I think it's really inappropriate to sunbathe topless on a family resort in full view of everyone and right by the toddler pool, and with her own DS around. Am I being unreasonable in feeling uncomfortable and wishing she'd cover up??

OP posts:

VeryCunningStunt · 18/08/2017 22:42

It's weird - end of

A stunning well-supported point. Sticking 'end of' after any opinion turns it into incontrovertible fact.

HemanOrSheRa · 18/08/2017 22:43

In all my years on holidays abroad I have never seen any woman sunbathing topless that wouldn't have looked better with the top on. Hehe! Fuck off. I've seen some fabulous sights. Gorgeous women, young and old with their boobs out. Or with bikinis on. It's all fine.

VeryCunningStunt · 18/08/2017 22:43

Ha ha, cross-post Squoosh!

babynugget · 18/08/2017 22:44

Absolutely!

Willow2017 · 18/08/2017 22:46

babynugget
Thats hardly the same thing though is it?
Lying on a sun lounger amongst all the other hundreds of people sunbathing?

babynugget · 18/08/2017 22:49

Pretty much the same thing yeah. Many other parents sunbathing round the playpark while they watched their kids play. Only one topless. I never said it was wrong but for me and most of the other people within my earshot - it was odd.

HemanOrSheRa · 18/08/2017 22:51

I've never seen a man in tiny snug Speedos who wouldn't look better in shorts. Well indeed, squoosh.

Nelly5678 · 18/08/2017 22:53

They're a body part get over it. Either everyone including men wear shirts all the time or nobody has to.

ButtHoleinOne · 18/08/2017 22:56

It's weird - end of

Weird implies unusual. As you'll have learned from hundreds of posts here, it is your view that is unusual.

JemmyBloocher · 18/08/2017 22:58

As a lover of all things mammary, I say boobs are beautiful and render a poolside all the more fun. No matter whose they are. Mine are staying hidden due to skin damage fear and 12 years of breastfeeding, but more power to anybody enjoying the sun with their boobs out.

Postagestamppat · 18/08/2017 23:01

I thought that topless sunbathing had gone out of fashion. Whenever I've been to the med in recent years all women had a bikini on. I understand that that toplessness for women - pedant disclaimer is allowed here in Australia, but no women do and it's the men that get the grief for wearing speedos (or budgie smugglers as they are called here), which are essentially the same style of bikini bottom as the women.

But this whole debate is odd. Ask if it is okay to go shopping in pyjamas and you would get a very different response. But it is apparently unacceptable to wonder if it is inappropriate to show a part of the body that is definitely considered sexual (especially by teenagers) in a family resort.

babynugget · 18/08/2017 23:01

My view is unusual here, in this thread. I agree and I'm not in the least bit bothered as I'm sure the unusual woman with her norks out at the playpark was not in the least bit bothered. However this thread is not representative of the real world and I guess that's how people feel on holiday. I doubt it would be considered 'usual' to see a woman wandering about a playpark in suburban UK with her lady lumps swinging for all to see.

dudsville · 18/08/2017 23:01

I don't know. I tried this when I was younger, also stayed in a nude resort once for a couple of days. I couldn't shift my mind set that my nudity was sexual.

TickedOff · 18/08/2017 23:02

I've never felt comfortable sunbathing topless, even during my 20's & before ds.

I'm with you OP. If it was a crowded beach, lots of topless sunbathers then fair enough. The only one around a family pool, not so much. Hats of to her though for not giving a stuff.

carjacker1985 · 18/08/2017 23:10

I've never sunbathed topless in my life but some of the prudish comments on here make me want to go straight down my local leisure centre and whip my bikini top off by the pool.

THEY ARE JUST TITS

Jedimum1 · 18/08/2017 23:15

In Spain is quite common and many people would not feel weird or even take much notice. My mum (now 60) used to do it all the time and we were all the day together, which involves parents, grandparents, sons, daughter's, cousins... I haven't been to the beach with her these past few years but I wouldn't be surprised if she still did. Nobody really cared or thought it was odd. She's not the only one in the family to do so, either. I was a bit when I moved to the UK because of the "fear of the breast", it has a much more sexual connotation here than in most of Spain. It's a cultural thing, really. In other countries people would be uncomfortable to see full bare legs. Each country has its socially accepted customs, and this is just one of them, IMO. When in Rome... YAB(a bit)U

Sofabitch · 18/08/2017 23:19

I find it sad that so many people say.. i would be i couldn't subject other/Don't have the tits etc

The size/hape of breasts are irrelivant topless sunbathing isn't just for perky young breasts.. that concept just adds to the sexulisation of breasts

squoosh · 18/08/2017 23:20

"fear of the breast",

So true. I think there was a Hammer horror with that very title. A busty milkmaid showed her tits to the villagers and enraged they chased her with pitchforks to the mysterious house on the hill...

It was her tits wot killed her.

Timefortea99 · 18/08/2017 23:20

They are just tits. Get over it.

mypoornips · 18/08/2017 23:21

We're in Spain and everyone's at it here, lots of women are topless with thong bikini bottoms. All shapes, all sizes, all ages. I think it's brilliant. No one seems to bat an eyelid.

Dawnedlightly · 18/08/2017 23:25

Where are you OP?
I'd love to sunbathe topless, but I've never found myself on a beach with anyone else doing it and I'm not that brave.

Jedimum1 · 18/08/2017 23:51

Lol @squoosh

TeethMalloy · 19/08/2017 00:17

A pp mentioned giving mixed messages to kids earlier - she was shot down for suggesting it, of course, but it did make me think. I've got a daughter approaching her teens. She doesn't have a phone yet, but when she does it will open up the minefield of potential 'sexting'. (And yes we've had discussions about it, but there is no guarantee that teens will do as they're told. I will just have to hope that she is sensible.) If we're supposed to tell our children that it's completely fine to go about topless and that boobs are no different to an arm or an ear, how does that then sit with ensuring that a young teen knows the importance of not exposing herself in photos?

Sorry, that's not really an answer to the OP. I understand that it's the Right Thing to not bat an eyelid, but I would probably prefer she didn't do it as I'm quite prudish. Mainly because my body is disgusting so I would feel crap about myself in that situation, but that is obviously my problem and not because the woman is actually doing anything wrong.

Notknownatthisaddress · 19/08/2017 00:36

@squoosh

I think it was her tits wot killed her.

Serves the filthy cow right for flashing them!!!

Postagestamppat · 19/08/2017 01:44

teeth it's an interesting point you raised. According to this article the mobile phone is one of the reasons that no-one goes topless ar bondi any longer when once it was apparently a tourist attraction (!).

www.theaustralian.com.au/news/inquirer/why-nobody-sunbathes-topless-anymore/story-e6frg6z6-1227162423209

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