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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed with this topless lady?

581 replies

user3785022135267845922 · 18/08/2017 13:09

... we r on holiday in a family resort in sunny country. There is a lady who keeps ending up on the sun loungers opposite us, who seems to enjoy lying topless by the pool everyday. She has a DS who looks about 15, and a DD who looks about 5.

I think it's really inappropriate to sunbathe topless on a family resort in full view of everyone and right by the toddler pool, and with her own DS around. Am I being unreasonable in feeling uncomfortable and wishing she'd cover up??

OP posts:

SomeOtherFuckers · 18/08/2017 19:54

A) with her son around ..... why on earth should her son be unaware his mum has boobs?
B) kids don't care - only adults do.

SomeOtherFuckers · 18/08/2017 19:56

Everyone in the S of France was toess when I went this summer ( obviously not literally everyone but many women)

SomeOtherFuckers · 18/08/2017 19:59

I also got mine out and this is actually the first time - the only reason I haven't before is that I look very young for my age and have t wanted anyone feeling uncomfortable thinking they're seeing a 16yo's boobs

Boodles · 18/08/2017 20:04

I would worry about the skin on my boobs and nipples as they don't see the sun for 99% of the year and then suddenly they are out in all their milk bottle white glare!

VeryCunningStunt · 18/08/2017 20:09

All nice and well, but she did not pay to watch this woman's boobs

If it was against the rules of the resort, management would have asked her to wear a top. As she was topless most of the time, the venue must not have had an issue with it. The OP's personal preferences are irrelevant if no pool rules were being broken. If topless by the pool is acceptable in the country that the OP is visiting, it's the height of arrogance to expect that your own personal boundaries should be the benchmark for other people's behaviour. We don't get to dictate that others tailor their actions to suit us.

I'm cannot fathom that she was forced to look at this woman's breasts under duress anyway. There were probably loads of things other than thdctwo breasts of one individual that she could have focused her attention on. Mine are huge, but it's never yet been the case that they're the biggest thing in the room and obscure everyone's view of everything else in the vicinity.

CrossSugarman · 18/08/2017 20:13

OP clearly stated it was a family resort. That means a cap on certain things, load partying, drunk stag do people shouting profanities across the pool etc.

It's really not in a category with anti social behaviours!

Is this Mary Whitehouse attitude to topless sunbathing a new thing on MN?? So odd.

RallyRoundTheFlagBoys · 18/08/2017 20:19

disneydatknee · 18/08/2017 20:35

I wouldn't have a problem with it other than being super jealous that I can't get mine out on a sun lounger without them rolling under my arm pits they arnt what they used to he after 2 kids

VeryCunningStunt · 18/08/2017 20:46

I do think it's a bit off for a mum to sunbathe topless in front of her teenage son. No teenager wants to see that, and I bet he feels really uncomfortable with it

For all we know they could be an entirely naked family in the privacy of their own home. Many teenagers find it very easy to express their embarrassment at their parents' very existence, so I'd guess if he was mortified he could say something.

I've seen whole families comfortably naked together. It's extrapolating somewhat to say 'no teenager wants to see that' when you haven't a clue what passes as acceptable to them.

GladAllOver · 18/08/2017 20:58

I don't have a problem with topless sunbathing per se, but I do think it's a bit off for a mum to sunbathe topless in front of her teenage son. No teenager wants to see that, and I bet he feels really uncomfortable with it.
That's your opinion and you are entitled to have it. But don't project your hangups onto other people with more sensible attitudes to their bodies.

Emboo19 · 18/08/2017 21:02

I do think it's a bit off for a mum to sunbathe topless in front of her teenage son. No teenager wants to see that, and I bet he feels really uncomfortable with it

What about in front of teenage daughters? Is that ok because they're girls. Or what about dads sunbathing topless in front of their teenage daughters?
My mum sunbathed topless in front of me as I do in front of her. But then I've also, shock horror, seen my both my parents naked!
To be fair parents are supposed to embarrass their teens, it's like a right of passage really. And personally I think some teen boys could benefit from seeing what women's bodies look like, outside of porn!

maddiemookins16mum · 18/08/2017 21:43

Only on MN do mums of 14 year old sons think its ok to walk around naked.
I bet they think otherwise. (The sons, that is).

ButtHoleinOne · 18/08/2017 21:51

And only on MN do people think 14 year olds are incapable of letting the entire world know when their mum is embarrassing them

katronfon · 18/08/2017 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nikitasol · 18/08/2017 21:58

Get a life woman and just enjoy your holiday ffs!

TangledUpInGin · 18/08/2017 22:04

I saw a lady sunbathing topless last week. I was with my two sons who didn't notice. It was an absolute non occurrence in our lives. I spoke to the random boob barer (absolutely not in a 'why are you showing your boobs way, just passing the time way) and she was a really lovely. I obviously tried to hate her because of her fantastic body and confidence, but she was just so nice and friendly I couldn't

Lordamighty · 18/08/2017 22:06

In all my years on holidays abroad I have never seen any woman sunbathing topless that wouldn't have looked better with the top on.
I realise that this is not the prevailing view on here but nevertheless it is the truth.

VeryCunningStunt · 18/08/2017 22:11

In all my years on holidays abroad I have never seen any woman sunbathing topless that wouldn't have looked better with the top on

That's a pretty unpleasant judgement of other women's bodies.

Of course, it's entirely possible that your opinion, or indeed anyone's opinion, of their appearance had absolutely zero relevance to their decision.

It's almost as if the primary purpose of women's bodies is not to be aesthetically pleasing to anyone who fancies passing judgement. Crazy old world.

Willow2017 · 18/08/2017 22:16

Nobody is forcing op to look at this woman constantly.
Hell I didnt spend my holiday looking at the person sitting next to me at the pool why would I?

I didnt 'pay' to look at other people and decide which one was good enough to sit next to me or not, I paid for a holiday.

Smidge001 · 18/08/2017 22:24

YABU. There should be no issue whatsoever with sunbathing topless.

What I find particularly strange/interesting though, is your concern over it happening specifically in a family resort. Personally I would much prefer to sunbathe topless in a family resort than I would in a club 16-30s type resort. I feel as though far fewer people in a family resort would be staring/objectifying me than somewhere full of young singles!

VeryCunningStunt · 18/08/2017 22:29

I feel as though far fewer people in a family resort would be staring/objectifying me than somewhere full of young singles!

Apparently not, if the body shaming post a few posts above is anything to go by. You'll be being judged for not looking good enough with your top off. Looking shit without a bikini top on is 'the truth', apparently

squoosh · 18/08/2017 22:29

In all my years on holidays abroad I have never seen any woman sunbathing topless that wouldn't have looked better with the top on

Irrelevant really. I've never seen a man in tiny snug Speedos who wouldn't look better in shorts. But I wouldn't get annoyed at the sight of them as the OP is annoyed at this woman's bare breasts.

Don't go on a European sun holiday if tits offend you. Stick to the Lake District.

babynugget · 18/08/2017 22:38

OP I love how you are handling this thread despite all the grief you are getting. I'm with you. It's weird - end of. I was at a huge holiday park a few years ago. I mean massive. Broken into lots of different sections. Literally everyone there had their own private space beside their accommodation, whether that was tent, caravan, chalet or equivalent. One woman in the whole 900 million acres of park plonks herself right next to he kids play park, football pitch, etc and gets her baps out to sunbathe for the afternoon!!! Just odd!

TheWeeWitch · 18/08/2017 22:40

Don't go to Switzerland on a ski holiday op - you'll not cope with the stark naked men women and children jumping in the hotel hot tub with you!

squoosh · 18/08/2017 22:40

I'm with you. It's weird - end of.

We can wrap this up everyone. We've had an official 'END OF'.

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