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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not mind buying this dress at the sale price?!

144 replies

PhantomBlooper · 17/08/2017 21:02

I am getting married next year and I'm on the hunt for my wedding dress.

To cut a long story short, I went solo to try some dresses on today and tried on a dress that is simply stunning. More than that, it fits me like a glove and It's on sale.

Ordering the dress totally new would cost £1600. The one I tried on today would cost £699.

My parents are paying for a large proportion of the wedding, as a gift. I haven't asked them to, but it is welcome. My sister had quite a lavish and expensive affair on them so they are quick to keep reminding me that I don't have to scrimp and save, they are happy to pay. Which is wonderful.

I spoke to my mum about the dress I tried on today and showed her a picture. She agreed it was stunning and we are going back so she can see it on. I mentioned to my mum that the lady in the shop told me that she would keep the dress behind for me so that it didn't sell before I got to show her. All good stuff.

My AIBU is when I told my mum I loved the dress and the price tag she said that she wants me to have a totally new dress, not a sample. To me, it doesn't matter. The sample is beautiful, not damaged and would not really need to be altered in anyway. It may benefit from a dry clean but that's it.

I really don't want to butt heads with her over it, especially when she's being so generous, but to me it seems crazy to pay double for what is essentially the same dress. I'm half tempted to buy the dress myself at the reduced price but I don't want to hurt her feelings.

AIBU??

OP posts:
TheMinkette · 17/08/2017 22:23

I had the exact same thing OP and my mum persuaded me to order a new one - it never did fit as well as the sample copy in the shop and I have always regretted it. I think the shop sample must have been 'softened' up by being tried on lots, go with that one and buy some amazing shoes!

perper · 17/08/2017 22:27

So, your mum wants to buy it at full cost, rather than sale price? Does she often use money in the fireplace as fuel?!

I just find that so depressing. If she's that determined to throw money away, at least throw it in the direction of a charity...

If it were me I genuinely would ask her to donate the extra to my chosen charity. Wedding dress designers don't count as charity to me Smile

perper · 17/08/2017 22:28

(Also, that really is a beautiful dress- get it!)

SlightlyJaded · 17/08/2017 22:30

Another Sample Dress here.

I bought mine for £1000 instead of £1900 and it was so the right choice. Mine had been used for a photoshoot and although it was spotless, the shop got it professionally cleaned as part of the price and it fit like a glove. By the end of my wedding night, it had a few grass stains and a blob of raspberry on it. Cleaned perfectly again and now sat in my wardrobe where it's been for 10 years.

BUY THE SAMPLE

Most beautiful dress btw

MrsJamesAspey · 17/08/2017 22:32

Ive never wanted to get married but that dress could actually change my mind it's so gorgeous.

Time to find James Aspey and get a date sorted Smile

Original poster
PhantomBlooper · 17/08/2017 22:42

Thank you all so much for your wonderful comments.

The dress is just wonderful and I think at £700 with the way it fits, It's a steal and something I will treasure forever.

We are visiting a different shop together tomorrow so she can see some different ones and then revisiting on Saturday to try the dream dress again.

OP posts:
SheSaidHeSaid · 17/08/2017 22:42

I had a sample too. Reduced from £2k to £1k. In my eyes it was a brand new dress and, just like you, it fit me like a glove.

I think you should go for it and ignore your mum.

user1493059174 · 17/08/2017 22:45

Your choice of dress is utterly stunning! I am sure once your mum sees you in it she will see sense.

Drivingmenuts · 17/08/2017 22:50

Get the dress.

I spent £2k on mine, got swept away by the brand name. It didn't fit properly and now I look at my wedding photos and regret it. If it looks great, get it.

Winenight · 17/08/2017 22:51

My wedding dress was an ex-sample- it cost about £400 + alterations which was probably £1,000 lower than the cost price!

It was stunning and from a very upmarket shop, so in clean perfect condition. Wedding dresses are generally well looked after in bridal boutiques and handled very carefully by the managers.

I knew it was right and luckily my mum agreed. If that is the dress you love you should choose it regardless of price!

fizzandchips · 17/08/2017 22:54

That dress is stunning. I hope when your mum sees it she'll love it as much as you do.

SistersOfPercy · 17/08/2017 22:56

It's stunning.
When I got married in 96 we were on a very tight budget as we had just bought our house, I hired my dress at a cost of £60, I loved it, dh loved it and ive not had it kicking round the loft for 20 years 😀
No regrets at all.. Get the one you want.

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 17/08/2017 23:01

"So, your mum wants to buy it at full cost, rather than sale price?"

I think some people are missing the point about the sample dress. It will have been tried on by a lot of people and will have been in the shop at least 6 months but probably a year. If it's in perfect condition then fair enough, but if it's not then I can understand why some people would prefer a brand new one.

lilydaisyrose · 17/08/2017 23:05

No comments on the sample vs. new as I bought my dress second hand from preloved, but I wore a blush pink wedding dress (Ronald Joyce) & still absolutely love it. Blush pink rocks - buy it!

gggrrrargh · 17/08/2017 23:11

that is one heck of a gorgeous dress!

Notevilstepmother · 17/08/2017 23:13

It's lovely. Tell your mum to buy you diamond earrings with the extra money?

Flopjustwantscoffee · 17/08/2017 23:17

Appease your mother by telling her she can pay top price for fittings :) it is always useful to have someone check it fits, they can do a final fitting a week or so before the wedding which is really useful if you've dropped a little or put on a tiny bit of weight, and for checking the length is right for your shoes and it fits with your underwear etc. normally, when you calculate the hours of work that goes into altering dresses and the expertise it takes the seamstresses earn a pittance, so it will be nice, for once, if there is not much work to do and you are willing to pay a decent a,punt for the work :)

Flopjustwantscoffee · 17/08/2017 23:20

"I think some people are missing the point about the sample dress. It will have been tried on by a lot of people and will have been in the shop at least 6 months but probably a year. If it's in perfect condition then fair enough, but if it's not then I can understand why some people would prefer a brand new one."

Yes, but generally wedding dress shops are very anal careful about how people try on dresses, and that they have clean hands etc, so it's not the same as a normal dress that's been out in a shop for six months being handled by children with sticky fingers, tossed on the floor etc.

ohtheholidays · 17/08/2017 23:31

Oh OP it is stunning and I bet you'll look amazing in it,I hope your mum backs down and can see how happy you are about the dress.

Skittlesandbeer · 17/08/2017 23:55

Sheesh! Tell your mum it is hard enough to find 'the one' with dresses, without inventing problems.

If you are lucky enough to have found yours without a soul-shredding amount of time, energy, appointments, disappointments, fittings, deposits, arguments and tears then rejoice!

By the way, secure that fab frock with your own money immediately and have the discussion with mum afterwards. Don't let it get away, don't trust the lady in the shop!

Another idea as well. Get your dad involved (if he's in the picture). I've never heard a man say 'oh no, let's find a more expensive frock you'll wear once'!

perper · 17/08/2017 23:57

I think some people are missing the point about the sample dress. It will have been tried on by a lot of people and will have been in the shop at least 6 months but probably a year. If it's in perfect condition then fair enough, but if it's not then I can understand why some people would prefer a brand new one.

Not missing the point at all- if it was destroyed then fair enough, but I suspect it's in perfect nick (how much damage can be done in a bridal shop?!) and let's be realistic- you wear it for less than 24 hours, and no-one inspects every inch to see whether it might possibly not be brand new. People look at the whole person and even if one tiny bead had fallen off or whatever, no one will notice.

I've never understood how when it's a wedding suddenly people think nothing of spending an extra £700 on something to make sure it's not one that someone else has worn for a few minutes... Confused In 'non-wedding life' most people would recognise that as a huge sum!

LauderSyme · 18/08/2017 00:14

Wow that is such a beautiful dress! I am not remotely girly but I am practically swooning with delight. Your groom will think you look a vision of gorgeusness.
YANBU. Insist to your mum it must be the sample dress; tell her pp's anecdotes about never finding such a perfect fit again.
There must be something else costly she could buy that you would cherish forever if she really wants to splash her money out on you.
If there was ever a good reason to go Bridezilla, this is it!
Enjoy your big day Phantom Smile Smile

LauderSyme · 18/08/2017 00:19

gorgeousness even tut, should have stuck with loveliness

GetOutOfMYGarden · 18/08/2017 00:22

You're never going to wear it again, most likely! So why not save the £700?

If it was something you were going to wear daily, I could imagine plumping for a brand spanking new one. But it's for one single day.

banannabreadforme · 18/08/2017 00:30

My dress was in the sale, it was the shop floor one. It was perfect, you couldn't tell other people had tried it on, no one cared.
Buy the dress :)

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