This is an extract from an Australian article about DV. It makes a very good point- even when men are the victims of DV, it is a very different kind of violence. It is problematic if we lump together a woman hurling a plate at her partner with a man grabbing a woman by the throat and throttling her. They are both violent but they are not the same and do not have the same impact on the victim (either physical or psychological):
In 2015, the NSW coroner reviewed all intimate partner homicides over the last decade and found no incidents where a woman killed a man because she was a domestic violence offender.
When women did kill their male partner, or ex-partner, it was defensive - he had a history of perpetrating violence against her.
Dr Salter said police and health services reports showed that when a woman was violent against their partner, she was typically either defending herself or her kids.
"There are forms of violence that, simply put, women don't do to men in relationships," he said.
"That includes strangulation, damage to property, the mutilation and killing of pets, and sexual violence in a domestically abusive relationship."
This was backed up by Michael Brandenburg, strategy manager at No To Violence / Men's Referral Service, the peak body for organisations and individuals working with men to end family violence in Victoria and New South Wales. He helps male victims of domestic violence.
"We probably need to get a bit better at defining what we mean by family violence in the context of power, the context of fear," he said.
"Our experience over the last 15-20 years is a lot of women's violence is linked to protecting themselves and protecting their children.