AIBU to think SAHMs shouldn't put this nonsense on a CV/job application

[windygallows]

In the last year I've recruited for numerous part-time jobs, receiving applications from many women who took time out to be with family and are now returning to work.

Many of the applicants have been straightforward and simply noted on their CV that they have been SAHM - simple.

But increasingly applicants, perhaps based on some guidance from career counsellors or MN, are finding more creative ways to describe their absence from the workforce.

One, we'll call her Mrs Jones, wrote that for 10 years she was employed by the 'Jones family' and that her work involved 'organizing international travel for her family.' Because organizing a holiday is similar to the tasks led by senior executives.

Another wrote a list of every task she did at home from getting groceries to cleaning the house which, while impressive as an exhaustive list, doesn't really mean much when applying to an office-based role. Especially as it's basically a list of everything most employees have to fit in outside of work.

More galling are the claims that women make about the critical role they played - with my favourite being the one who 'Spent 7 years looking after my two children who needed and deserved my attention.'

There is huge value in the work that SAHMs do but please, please don't put this kind of waffle on your CV. You never know if your interview panel will consist of a FT working, single mom like me who finds it pretty insulting that working means her children apparently lost out on 'the attention they needed and deserved.' Urgh.

Former SAHMs are not unemployable Scentofwater, but if they're looking to get back into a career, they would probably benefit from demonstrating that they have been actively following that career, they know what is going on and may have done relevant back to work courses. Not try to squash the daily life of a SAHM (or any mum for that matter) into the boxes where it doesn't quite fit.

When I'm recruiting, I'm looking for qualified lawyers with relevant experience. I'm happy to do refresher training/ take people after career breaks/ have part time employees.

I wouldn't take someone with experience of "conflict resolution from managing tantrumming toddlers full time" without any other relevant background information because that experience is not relevant to the job I would be offering and everyone does it.

Working in a nursery is very different to being a sahm.

I've personally employed several returning sahm so I have zero issue with that. However claiming an equivalence between domestic tasks and professional tasks is rarely accurate and tends to make you look a bit silly and deluded.

There are exceptions and situations where it is relevant - poster upthread who mentioned navigating the sn system when applying for a job in that area, got example.

Even childcare roles - say you have previously done office work, had kids and decided that actually you love children and want to change paths and work in a nursery. I think it's fine to put, probably in the covering letter, an explanation of that. Actually not just fine, desirable. But I still would not list the tasks you did as a sahp on your cv.

Artisan, of course they are not actually unemployable, but others in this thread have said they would bin their cv on principle if they wrote this, they wouldn't look further at what other skills this person had. I think that is unacceptable.

Women have a hard enough time in the workplace as it is, but let's just make it even harder yes?

but if someone lists the many tasks they do as a carer for elderly/disabled/children (washing, dressing, toileting, taking out on trips), that's completely irrelevant and should just be consigned to one line. Just because it's their friend/family and they don't get paid for it.

A) because most people do this AND work as well and b) it doesn't mean you are actually any good at it unless it can be verified. As far as the employer knows, you could have sat there watching telly while the children ran riot

Scentofwater, someone with 3 years experience of working in a nursery would almost certainly have that experience disregarded if they weren't going for a job in childcare. I've already said SAHM experience can be relevant for nanny/childminder jobs, other jobs, not so much.

So Statistically you are saying the things a person does at home looking after their own child is of less value than the largely identical things a nursery worker/ child carer would do.

How can you not see how that is an example of how shittlily women are percieved and therefore treated? Deluded? A bit silly? That's how you see women who are valuing their own hard work?

I haven't actually done this, and I agree it is bad advice, but it makes me so sad that traditional women's work is so poorly valued! And how ingrained discrimination is towards women!

Just to clarify, as my posts may be ambiguous, I can completely see it is not an appropriate way to write a cv at this time, but I do question why given that women are disproportionately negatively affected by this.

A) because most people do this AND work as well and b) it doesn't mean you are actually any good at it unless it can be verified. As far as the employer knows, you could have sat there watching telly while the children ran riot

That isn't true. If you work, you are delegating the caring aspect to someone else during working hours. Your child is being cared for, but not by you (during that time). Care is WORK- it is not to do with whether you love your child or want the best for them. It is the physical labour of looking after another person. Someone who is working full time is not doing the same amount of caring work as someone who is at home full time with a child/dependent. That doesn't make them a worse parent at all by the way.

Also, from the boards on here, it is pretty obvious for example that many, many men who are married or in a LTR do none of this. It's undervalued because it's 'women's work' and seen as something anyone can do. Yet we have mums who want to bring toddlers to hen-do's because the dad is incapable of looking after the child for one evening.

What it is not is insulting to you. Being a SAHP is a full-time job.

Op didnt say it wasnt. She said that putting 'i stayed at home because my kids deserve to have me at home' is insulting and it is.

Plus no one cares why you chose to be a sahp.

Myself and dh run our house and work. I drive my kids about, that doesnt make me a chauffeur. Doing something in your day to day life does not mean you have professional experience or do it to a professional standard.

I fitted my own kitchen. I am not a kitchen fitter.

Dh is a chef. He also does most of our cooking. I do some. That doesnt make me a chef. Dh is a chef because he has and does work as a chef. Not because he cooks dinner most nights.

Besides which, i am a project manager. Claiming to be a chef, if i was applying for a new job, would be wrong and irrelevant.

I agree that just writing you took a career break to raise family is enough. Everyone knows what it is and it's accepted.

The issue of overplaying it is it makes uou look like you lack judgement skills as It is silly and often over exaggerated, that you find minor things a big deal ( international travel aka holiday, sick kid and you're a doctor, help with homework and you're a teacher, cook dinner and you're a chef, ) that you like to play th martyr ( my children needed me and I sacrificed myself for the greater good) and that you lack confidence in yourself, you feel it's not enough to just say you took a break to raise family, you need to over play it.

You also risk alienating those who read the cv, who may also be parents. Overall simply saying career break to raise family is enough and totally fine.

I'm saying that you don't need to list the tasks you did at home looking after a child.

And no the things you do at home looking after a child aren't largely identical to what a nursery worker does. If you had triplets whilst following all the regulatory requirements then it might be closer but no, even basis tasks like food prep and nappy changing are different in a professional childcare setting.

Just as I discount any other badly written CV I also discount these sorts that I get from time to time.

I think it is relevant to mention things that go beyond the standard sahm stuff but obviously in how much detail depends upon the job applied for.

I wrote 'Career break' on mine and mentioned my kids at interview when they said 'Tell us about yourself'. Job done.

This is perfect - conveys exactly what's needed.

You can then also add any other useful experience gained in that time under a 'voluntary' type section e.g. was a school governer, organised camp for 700 brownies - useful things that show something transferable that aren't jobs, but not 'is brilliant at doing things that everyone else is also doing except they have a job as well'.

As a recruiter I don't care at all about whether you've had time at home with family or not and I don't care why you chose to do that - it's just not relevant.

I do care that you have an explanation for any longish CV gaps that are sensible, e.g. looking for work, was at home with children, trying to run a business, that aren't 'am trying to cover up the fact that I've been in prison'.

Someone who is working full time is not doing the same amount of caring work as someone who is at home full time with a child/dependent

A person who works still does doctors appointments, driving to hobbies, cooks food, cleans the house, does the gardening, shops for food, runs a budget, runs the family schedule etc.

The point is all these things are things that most people do for themseleves and their family. That doesnt mean its professional experience.

lostfairy. if supporting your son is relevant to the job, then absolutely put it in your personal statement. You have not messed up and might even tug at the reviewer's heartstrings. I have put people up for interview if I thought they were keen (even if not having the best experience) and to give them a break, or at least interview practice.

What I would find annoying is not particularly relevant experience distorted and dressed up as relevant experience, as it is a time waster to have to read all that.

Read again. That isn't exactly what she said.

No where has the Op said that being a sahp isnt work.

Oh god, I'd bin anyone's CV that included being a SAHM as genuine relevant work experience.

Organising international travel? Shopping? Coordinating appointments? Fucking hell that is so stupid.

just write "career break"
then at interview you can expand a bit about why you're returning to work

I put "A career break to concentrate on my family during which time I headed a committee that raised £30k for the local school."

The cv checking company from my employers were fine with it.

I review CVs on a regular basis. I won't judge someone for having taking a break from work to raise their family but I don't need to have it explained to me what that involves. Aside from it being a bit of an insult to my intelligence it is just noise that adds unnecessary and non-value-adding detail. We all know generally what parenting and managing the household involves and there's no way we can determine if the applicant did it well or was a totally disorganised disaster.

The ideal CV for me gives me confidence in the first couple of paragraphs that the candidate has the skills I'm looking for followed by a summary career history that supports that. If they can't sell themselves to me in 2 pages or less they're likely not going to get an interview. I don't care if they've climbed Kilimanjaro or if they are involved in various recreational pursuits. If they have been a SAHP I don't need or want anything more than e.g. Dec-2003 - Apr-2011: Career break to raise family.

Workplace was "my home" and she'd done it for x y amount of years.
Straight in the bin.

So you would discount any form of homeworking, voluntary work, self employed work from home?

Aside from it being a bit of an insult to my intelligence it is just noise that adds unnecessary and non-value-adding detail.

But SAHM can also do worthwhile and interesting things.