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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think SAHMs shouldn't put this nonsense on a CV/job application

999 replies

windygallows · 17/08/2017 10:40

In the last year I've recruited for numerous part-time jobs, receiving applications from many women who took time out to be with family and are now returning to work.

Many of the applicants have been straightforward and simply noted on their CV that they have been SAHM - simple.

But increasingly applicants, perhaps based on some guidance from career counsellors or MN, are finding more creative ways to describe their absence from the workforce.

One, we'll call her Mrs Jones, wrote that for 10 years she was employed by the 'Jones family' and that her work involved 'organizing international travel for her family.' Because organizing a holiday is similar to the tasks led by senior executives.

Another wrote a list of every task she did at home from getting groceries to cleaning the house which, while impressive as an exhaustive list, doesn't really mean much when applying to an office-based role. Especially as it's basically a list of everything most employees have to fit in outside of work.

More galling are the claims that women make about the critical role they played - with my favourite being the one who 'Spent 7 years looking after my two children who needed and deserved my attention.'

There is huge value in the work that SAHMs do but please, please don't put this kind of waffle on your CV. You never know if your interview panel will consist of a FT working, single mom like me who finds it pretty insulting that working means her children apparently lost out on 'the attention they needed and deserved.' Urgh.

OP posts:
Aeviternity · 17/08/2017 12:39

PoorYorick, but that's the point. He doesn't put it on his CV because it never occurs to him, regardless of whether or not he actually did the primary-parenting for a time. He'd no more put it on a CV than he's put it on a poster in his front window. It literally doesn't occur.

A CV is for work-related information, not guff about your parenting. Nor is it the place to write about your love of collecting thimbles or your insistence on only wearing matching underwear - it's just inappropriate!

Hamiltoes · 17/08/2017 12:41

"I haven't actually done this, and I agree it is bad advice, but it makes me so sad that traditional women's work is so poorly valued! And how ingrained discrimination is towards women!"

No it is valued of course, it's just WOHM also have all the trandiditonal womens work to do only with 40-50hrs per week less time do to it.

I have never and would never put that on my CV.

And please stop with the "discrimination against women" thing. It's really really not.

Believeitornot · 17/08/2017 12:43

You sound a bit defensive OP and it's quite telling that you mention childcare and being a single mum etc.

You're taking offence as if the comments on the CV are a reflection or critique of what you've done.

Be professional, take a step back and think about these people as being suitable employees. Don't read their CVs as an track on your choices.

GahBuggerit · 17/08/2017 12:43

Slagging off employers on Twitter is NOT a good move, a software package I used to use to recruit used to send me the link to the candidates Facebook, Twitter and other SM profiles - I never looked as I find that quite distasteful - but my colleagues did and would discount anyone who they didnt like the look of their SM presence.

People should complain to the company's HR dept afterwards or say "I assure you my arrangements with my home life will not impact on my work life" but its awful advice to take it to Twitter IMO

Believeitornot · 17/08/2017 12:43

*as an attack

PoorYorick · 17/08/2017 12:43

I think we'd need a comparable number of SAHDs and part-time dads before we can make a like for like comparison on who puts this guff on their CVs, that's all. Or comparable societal attitudes between what mothers and fathers are expected to do. Neither are going to happen any time soon.

I agree this kind of thing is bollocks and I'd bin any CV like that. But I'm not keen on this 'men are too smart to do this' idea because so few men have actually been in this situation.

Babbitywabbit · 17/08/2017 12:45

YANBU ... I've only come across it once or twice on cvs but it just looks terrible. It's so wrong that this is sometimes given out as cv-writing 'advice'

To put it bluntly, as a SAHP returning to
The workplace, you're going to be competing with many people who've done all that stuff plus gone out to work too, so it's not going to make you look like some super hero.

Just put - career break, caring responsibilities or similar

stevie69 · 17/08/2017 12:45

These women are trying to compete in a society where SAHM are not given the recognition they deserve

Are they not? Who determines what recognition they deserve and who measures whether or not they're getting it?

Personally I have no doubt that being a SAHM is a great choice for some women. However, I have to reiterate that it won't develop the skills that I need when I'm recruiting for finance people in the workplace. Just as me being an accountant won't develop the skills I need for being anything other than an accountant.

Does this disproportionately affect women? Well, yes I would say so since the majority of SAHP are women, I guess. But that's a choice. Nobody should be forced to remain at home if they don't want to. What's the answer? I honestly don't know Blush

Artisanjam · 17/08/2017 12:45

Hadron Collider - it isn't the fact that women have had career breaks to raise children that is the problem identified on this thread - its the fact that stupid CV companies and career advisers are telling them to big up every aspect of the SAHM role to make it sound as good as that type of work when done as a career - eg diagnosing chicken pox for your own children = Dr.

I don't think anyone yet has said that they would bin a CV which said "career break caring for family" if there was some relevant previous experience or an explanation as to why they really wanted the job, but experience of doing the day to day work of a SAHM does not equal Dr plus nanny plus cleaner plus hostage negotiator, plus accountant, plus driver etc and it makes the applicant look a bit lacking in judgement to say that it does.

PoorYorick · 17/08/2017 12:45

it makes me so sad that traditional women's work is so poorly valued!

I think you're confusing cause and effect. I don't think it's that traditional women's work is poorly valued. I think it's more that poorly valued work (boring, repetitive, invisible shitwork that's low paid even if you do do it professionally) is expected to be done by women.

Changeofluckneeded · 17/08/2017 12:45

Had to comment!

I read somewhere recently, so wish I could remember where it was but it would've been in some recruitment type email I received, that you should elaborate on the skills you have acquired whilst being a SAHM for example multi-tasking, diary management, organising travel arrangements...... I immediately thought Noooooooo bad idea!

keepingonrunning · 17/08/2017 12:46

I haven't RTFT but in case it hasn't been linked to already, I think there are some really thought-provoking videos here.

stevie69 · 17/08/2017 12:46

And please stop with the "discrimination against women" thing. It's really really not.

Agree completely.

Aeviternity · 17/08/2017 12:47

They're not 'too smart' to not write it, it just doesn't occur to them. And it shouldn't occur to women either. Like - just erase it from your mind!

If they're giving this advice at 'job clubs' and whatever, though, people are going to follow it.

"Domestic engineer" was popular for a few years, wasn't it.

"Managing Director of MY HOUSE lol."

Ugh.

For balance I've had men's CVs where they've bigged up their ability to pay bills on time and lead MMO guilds into battle, so to be fair, this is a general theme of "stuff you really shouldn't put on a CV because it's not only not relevant, it makes you look mental."

Cailleach666 · 17/08/2017 12:49

Mumsnet is becoming so predictable- all the bickering about working/SAHM.

happy2bhomely · 17/08/2017 12:49

I would just like to add that all this nonsense that WOHM do the same as SAHM is nonsense too. I agree about the housework etc, you can stretch that out to fill your available time, but unless you manage to physically care for your children while you work, then you do not do what I do. In the same way that I do not contribute financially to my family like WOHM do.

My husband provides for us financially and you must delegate your childcare to someone else. You do not 'do it all' any more than I do.

StatisticallyChallenged · 17/08/2017 12:49

Personally I'd say maternity leave goes nowhere near a cv. You're still employed whilst on maternity leave so no need to mention.

Career break, caring responsibilities, fine. Personally I don't have any anti mum prejudice - and you sure as shit wouldn't be asked about childcare in an interview with me - so i dont mind career break to care for children or similar. Just don't list it is a job title with a list of responsibilities!

My dd has come up in the last 3 interviews I've gone for - all of which were successful btw. One of those was someone asking about childcare and they turned out to be crappy employers. The other two were more casual conversation and presented no problem at all - I could have swerved it but I judged that it wouldn't be a problem for the particular people i was being interviewed by.

PoorYorick · 17/08/2017 12:51

I didn't mention my mat leave on my last CV. Who does that?

Seeingadistance · 17/08/2017 12:51

Greenberet, instead of being defensive and irritated by the OP's comments, perhaps you could consider this valuable free advice for you in your efforts to get a job.

There are a number of posters on this thread whose work involves staff recruitment, and they are in agreement that all that is required on a CV or application form is a brief line stating that you had a career break, and maybe a few words to say why. The consensus from people who are in the business of assessing CVs is that attempting to equate being a SAHP with paid employment is counter-productive and a waste of both your time and theirs.

It doesn't matter what you think about that, it doesn't matter what job club tutors and career advisors think, if the people who are doing the hiring don't like it, don't do it!

Gorgosparta · 17/08/2017 12:53

No one said that they would bin a cv because a woman had chosen home for a few years and be a sahp.

No one has even said amything close.

flowery · 17/08/2017 12:53

It is cringeworthy I agree. It's also completely unnecessary and achieves absolutely nothing.

A career break to raise a family is a perfectly acceptable explanation of a gap in employment. Most managers won't hold that against women, and therefore all that nonsense is unnecessary.

Some managers might hold taking time out of work to raise a family against applicants. But if they are the type who will do that, then trying to describe it as relevant work experience won't change their minds, therefore it's pointless.

Bluntness100 · 17/08/2017 12:53

i find your thread title and this please don't put this kind of waffle extremely degrading and offensive to women

I agree with the pp who said it's the opposite. It's degrading to these women to tell them to boost their cvs by writing this stuff. It's not needed to justify why uou took a career break, but it is in fact a career break.

The value in doing so is to you and your family. It is not to outsiders, recognising that should be part of rhe decision making process when deciding to take the break. It is valuable to you and your family you cannot think everyone else will put the same value against it.

StatisticallyChallenged · 17/08/2017 12:56

Exactly seeingadistance. It's not about being anti sahm, it's about appropriate behaviour when applying for a job.

And actually, I have had a guy do this too. Was just as annoying!

ghostyslovesheets · 17/08/2017 12:56

I don't think any fully qualified careers adviser would suggest this - I say that as a careers adviser - it's wanky

not sure who these 'advisers' are people mention but my bet is they don't have a masters in careers guidance!

JessicaEccles · 17/08/2017 12:56

I personally think raising children is the most important job in the world

To which any employer might reasonably think 'So why are you applying here then?'

And MOST important? More important than say a cancer specialist or brain surgeon?

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