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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think SAHMs shouldn't put this nonsense on a CV/job application

999 replies

windygallows · 17/08/2017 10:40

In the last year I've recruited for numerous part-time jobs, receiving applications from many women who took time out to be with family and are now returning to work.

Many of the applicants have been straightforward and simply noted on their CV that they have been SAHM - simple.

But increasingly applicants, perhaps based on some guidance from career counsellors or MN, are finding more creative ways to describe their absence from the workforce.

One, we'll call her Mrs Jones, wrote that for 10 years she was employed by the 'Jones family' and that her work involved 'organizing international travel for her family.' Because organizing a holiday is similar to the tasks led by senior executives.

Another wrote a list of every task she did at home from getting groceries to cleaning the house which, while impressive as an exhaustive list, doesn't really mean much when applying to an office-based role. Especially as it's basically a list of everything most employees have to fit in outside of work.

More galling are the claims that women make about the critical role they played - with my favourite being the one who 'Spent 7 years looking after my two children who needed and deserved my attention.'

There is huge value in the work that SAHMs do but please, please don't put this kind of waffle on your CV. You never know if your interview panel will consist of a FT working, single mom like me who finds it pretty insulting that working means her children apparently lost out on 'the attention they needed and deserved.' Urgh.

OP posts:
OllyBJolly · 17/08/2017 18:41

The majority of this thread is a lovely example of bashing

Are you on a different thread! What most posters are saying is that you don't have to justify it. Just say it. It's perfectly acceptable. I'm usually pretty hot on calling out discrimination but I can honestly say I haven't seen a career break being viewed negatively on any CV.

ceeveebee · 17/08/2017 18:42

Shocked by the previous poster in a very senior position who seems to keep her family life secret - I am also in a very senior position in a large PLC and am the exact opposite, there is no shame in having children and I'm very open about the reasons why I might want to arrive late or take time out for assemblies or whatever, as is our whole management team/board, to the extent that we arrange board meetings around school holidays etc!

I can see why someone returning to work might want to pad their CV out but would be much better to do some volunteering / training courses to refresh skills then to list out all the basic household tasks that every parent (working or not) has to do

Notknownatthisaddress · 17/08/2017 18:46

@sistersofmercy101

The majority of this thread is a lovely example of bashing. Nice job! SAHM are undervalued massively, derided and made to feel like useless spongers (going by the press articles and government schemes) so is it any darn wonder that they include the skills that they've used and learnt as the sole full time carer of a child or children? Also, those same skills would be very relevant and valued had they been a nanny or child minder! So, you bunch of judgy pants, is it only relevant experience when you're paid?

Big overreaction from you there! Shock

Nobody is bashing anyone. It's pretty obvious that it's bloody daft to put anything on a cv that is not relevant to the job! It's not necessary to bleat about how you can load the dishwasher, wash 3 loads of washing, and make sandwiches for 3 kids all at the same time, iron 10 shirts in an hour, and get round tesco for the weekly shop by the time you've got through the top 10 chart songs; when you are applying for a job stacking shelves in Morrisons, or doing filing and photocopying at the local builders merchants!

As has been said, it just looks naff when SAHM's put their SAHM 'skills' on a CV for a paid job. And do they seriously think that women who DO paid jobs don't do all this too? The OP is correct; it's an insult to working mothers.

13Bastards · 17/08/2017 18:53

It's shocking how many careers advisors tell returning parents to put this on CV's.

It's cringey and totally unnecessary .

13Bastards · 17/08/2017 18:55

I enjoy the candidates who dress up their prison jobs as a standard job out in the market.

At least they hadn't claimed they were travelling, which I've seen.

NeverTwerkNaked · 17/08/2017 19:01

I can't see any SAHM bashing on here? a lot of us who recruit are saying the opposite, that it simply doesn't factor into our decision making. We just note a legitimate reason for a career gap and carry on. We want proof the applicant can do the job.

If I am recruiting a lawyer to my team I want to know about their legal knowledge and skills.

I readily employ people with career breaks for family reasons but would be quite irritated if they did any more than list that as a fact on their CV. And I'm not trying to make it difficult for mums, quite the contrary. (I'm a mum too and work flexibly!). I always agree to flexible working/ home working/time off for assembly requests. Similarly working hours are tweaked for people with a particular hobby or whatever.

Sallystyle · 17/08/2017 19:10

SAHM bashing?

Hmm, i'm pretty sure some of the comments here could be viewed as WOH bashing, if you wanted to look hard enough. One poster thinks her children will benefit society more because she SAH. I have five children and was a SAHM to three of them for a very long time. I work now, are my younger two going to be less beneficial to society than the older three|? Is that bashing WOHMs?

This thread is not bashing SAHMs and I say that as one who did it for 16 years and only relatively recently started working. It's about twattery in CVs and some of the information would have been useful to me when I first started job hunting.

Dustbunny1900 · 17/08/2017 19:12

I haven't seen any bashing. But of course it's not relevant unless it's done in a professional capacity with training, references, experience and proof that you are marketable providing a service to other people.
For instance I wipe my own bum everyday and feed myself and my kids but I wouldn't put that down while applying for a nurse aid job to do that for other people. I'd put down my certificate training, and experiences working within a professional (yes, paid) setting to prove I'm qualified and know what I'm doing.

strawberrypenguin · 17/08/2017 19:18

As someone with recruitment responsibilities in my job I agree with the OP.

Listing SAHP is fine and explains the gap in paid employment. But don't follow it up with how much your extra special DC needed you at home or the everyday domestic tasks that I fit in around by full time work that you couldn't possibly have done otherwise. It reads like you haven't got good time management and is annoying.

Your CV is the first impression you get to make - don't piss off the person reading it!

Rapunzel15 · 17/08/2017 19:24

I was a recruitment consultant before i became a SAHM and any cv with that kind of rubbish on it would have gone to one place the bin. Millions of mums do all that and hold down a full time job. Do they need to put 2 jobs on there cv? Pay extra tax maybe? No. I know full well its a very hard job (its the hardest ive ever worked in my life) but lets be honest, youre unemployed

frogsoup · 17/08/2017 19:28

Unemployed? Women looking full time after multiple preschool children? Jesus, who was it who said there was no sahm bashing on the thread? I've done both wohm and sahm. I still don't get why the hell people feel the need to be so fucking rude about peoples choiced. It may be insecurity, but seriously, have words with yourself.

Anatidae · 17/08/2017 19:31

I've been thinking about this thread at work this afternoon. I think this is something that women do a lot - we JADE (justify, apologise, defend, explain) our actions when we don't have to.

A sahm feeling she has to explain her CV gap is a prime example of this. Why can't we be comfy saying 'I took three years out to raise my family.' Rather than apologising and explaining? We shouldn't have to. Raising a family is a perfectly justifiable career gap. As is taking a break between contracts to fuck off round remote bits of New Zealand like I did. Or caring for a relative. Or quite a few other things.

We should be comfy enough to say 'yeah in 2008 I was doing x' and leave it at that. You want to talk about it, you as the interview bring it up and I'll tell you all about it. Otherwise it's in my CV, with a one sentence explanation and that's that.

There's some pretty bad career advice out there if women are being advised to list duties. This isn't about bashing sahm or wohm, it's more about the expectations that we have to justify our choices constantly.

UKtoLA · 17/08/2017 19:31

I have to say these kind of threads are depressing reading. SAHMs feeling the need to justify themselves, while working mums interpret that as a criticism of the fact that they do to work. Insecurity, whichever way you look at it.

Gorgosparta · 17/08/2017 19:31

Unemployed is an incorrect term as that means you are available to get paid job but are not employed at the moment.

Gorgosparta · 17/08/2017 19:33

SAHMs feeling the need to justify themselves, while working mums interpret that as a criticism of the fact that they do to work. Insecurity, whichever way you look at it.

And sahps getting offended when people point out that working parents do the same jobs (washing, cooking etc)

MrsSchadenfreude · 17/08/2017 19:34

I've done a lot of recruitment. Just put "career break to look after children" or something similar. Don't try and dress up getting a 3 year old to eat cabbage as "negotiation skills." If it's a competence based interview, by all means use something you've done on your time out if it's relevant to the job - eg volunteering, helping at playgroup etc. And please don't say to the interviewer "It's clear you're not a mother, you really don't understand what life is like with small children." Because you look really stupid if the interviewer then tells you that they do actually have 2/3/4 kids, and there is really no coming back from that.

Wonderfulwonderful · 17/08/2017 19:34

Another one to comment that unemployed means available and seeking work - I am genuinely aghast a former recruitment consultant would not know that and misuse the term.

frogsoup · 17/08/2017 19:37

It was a calculated insult is why.

frogsoup · 17/08/2017 19:42

Just like saying 'I do everything a sahm does only I work as well'. As a wohm I think this is manifestly bollocks. I clearly don't do the same as a sahm - I delegate all the childcare to nursery 8-6!!!!! Yet another way to snidely out the other side down. I'm not a sahm any longer because I was going mad. Doesn't mean I don't think it's a valuable thing to do. Have a bit of confidence in your choices and decisions and don't try to bolster your self-esteem by making others feel shit - it's hardly rocket science.

counterpoint · 17/08/2017 19:43

"I think my prejudice is that I've worked FT throughout..."

Windygallows, I think the problem might lie with you and not mums returning/entering the workforce. Some guilt, perhaps, hey?

Anatidae · 17/08/2017 19:44

lets be honest, youre unemployed

No, you're a stay at home parent. If that's a choice you've made you're not unemployed.

If youre actively seeking work but not in work you're unemployed.

windygallows · 17/08/2017 19:46

counterpoint, f off. I don't feel guilt taking my daughter to her amazing nursery or PROVIDING FOR MY KIDS and not mooching off some man. Honestly, do you cry yourself to sleep at night because you've lost your identity and feel a slave to your family?

OP posts:
Dustbunny1900 · 17/08/2017 19:49

Why on gods green earth would you feel guilty for working Confused
OR for staying home w your kids , if you can do that and it works for you? We are all moms in different situations

MuchasSmoochas · 17/08/2017 19:52

It could be quite funny though to ask for references from the kids and the Dad. Or go round to their house to inspect their cupboards for proof of project management skills.

frogsoup · 17/08/2017 19:52

Windy no you just get kicks from making sahms feel shit about their choices, right? A real demonstration of a kind, generous personality, hey Hmm

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