AIBU to think SAHMs shouldn't put this nonsense on a CV/job application

[windygallows]

In the last year I've recruited for numerous part-time jobs, receiving applications from many women who took time out to be with family and are now returning to work.

Many of the applicants have been straightforward and simply noted on their CV that they have been SAHM - simple.

But increasingly applicants, perhaps based on some guidance from career counsellors or MN, are finding more creative ways to describe their absence from the workforce.

One, we'll call her Mrs Jones, wrote that for 10 years she was employed by the 'Jones family' and that her work involved 'organizing international travel for her family.' Because organizing a holiday is similar to the tasks led by senior executives.

Another wrote a list of every task she did at home from getting groceries to cleaning the house which, while impressive as an exhaustive list, doesn't really mean much when applying to an office-based role. Especially as it's basically a list of everything most employees have to fit in outside of work.

More galling are the claims that women make about the critical role they played - with my favourite being the one who 'Spent 7 years looking after my two children who needed and deserved my attention.'

There is huge value in the work that SAHMs do but please, please don't put this kind of waffle on your CV. You never know if your interview panel will consist of a FT working, single mom like me who finds it pretty insulting that working means her children apparently lost out on 'the attention they needed and deserved.' Urgh.

Yanbu op. Agree with all the other points. Plus I'll admit that I would also doubt the organisation and efficiency skills of anyone who considered feeding their kids or booking a holiday etc were tasks they considered challenging enough to mention on a cv. Similar to listing you passed y2 sats for a job that needs degree level skills.

As to the sahp vs wohp argument, agree with everyone else who has pointed out wohp do all the sahp stuff too. Except for days off where we don't also have to fit the paid work in. I can only think some sahps must be lacking confidence in their own choices if they feel they have to discredit different choices to justify their own.

Personally I think being a sahp is a perfectly valid choice, but no better or worse than wohp. But generally it certainly isn't a harder choice.

As a side note though it does gall me that the state will pay tax credits to a family with a sahp but not a single parent, if anything it should be the other way round. And even more so when I bet a lot of the sahps in rl and on here insulting wohps are funded by the same wohps they disdain.

I have at least three friends who qualified at the same time as me who all got high court judicial positions after 20 years at home with their kids cos they were all brilliant at deciding who should get the last choccie biccie in the packet.
Disclaimer: that was in gillybeanz world, not RL.
Much as I dislike trivialising parenting - in some of its aspects it's the hardest job I've ever done - there's no excuse for some of the BS from certain people here

'Stating you've strong negotiating skills because your kid ate their greens isn't going to help you get the job'
My God that is so patronising, maybe being a SAHM gives the skills to communicate without trying to put people down.

Anyway - I must have managed to write something not entirely halfwitted because I got the job.

One is a negotiator after proving negotiating skills with her kids.

Ha ha ha ha

I hope you are joking. Ooooooh look, Mrs Smith has managed to negotiate with a toddler that's if he keeps his socks on he can have a chocolate button. That will apply directly to negotiation in the corporate world.

FFS

long stretches with small children are often harder than short stretches when you have had time away

Sure. But what's that got to do with work? Unless the job is nanny or nursery worker? Being able to cope with small children for long periods of time without pulling your hair out is sadly a desirable skill for very few jobs.

I freely acknowledge that SAHParenting would be harder for me than the 4 days a week I spend working outside the home. But that's not what this discussion is about. It's about whether the skills gained make you a stronger candidate for a job. And unless the job is caring, they don't.

I genuinely believe if you go into an interview or write a cv and start detailing all the skills you learned by being at home, negotiating, team management, travel booking, chef, teacher, chauffeur, manager, cleaner, you're going to not get the job in most instances.

I'd strongly recommend focusing on previous paid employment skills and high level rhe at home stuff. No one stays home because they think they will gain invaluable skills they can take into the work place and enhance their job opportunities in the future unless it's in a related field and I think those playing it as such are doing those trying to get back into work a disservice.

Karlos

You sound jealous that a sahm could get such a good job.
The roles are just different that's all.
One is no better than the other, but it's stupid to say a wohm and sahm do the same.
My dh and dc have taken over my responsibility whilst I'm at work as my employer wouldn't like me popping home because the family needed something. I often wonder how retail staff manage to feed their kids and change nappies whilst serving customers and rotating stock.
I wish my employer was so understanding.
Such bollocks spouted on this thread.

I'm sorry Gilly, you're being presumptuous. I've been a SAHM, and a WOHM. I'm now on maternity leave from my nursing degree.

To say that WOHM don't do the same as SAHM is ridiculous.
Plenty of us manage to run our homes, pay our bills, look after and raise our children, run errands and work at the same time. Just because our children are at school or nursery doesn't mean we're not responsible for them.

Not every working mother palms off the children to the nanny, leaves all the washing up to the cleaner and swans off for a gossip at the office. You seem to have a distorted view of what being a working mum means and that all SAHMs have it so much harder. I certainly didn't

Idk, I guess I just consider all that , "taking care of my own personal business" and I wouldn't go beyond "break in career due to child" or say anything more unless it was a nanny or carer job.
At best it would be cringey and at worst deceitful. This is why I've made sure to do some sort of parttime work since having baby. I realize not everyone can manage this, but if you can then I find it helps ..and you have something appropriate to put on applications.

I had to select appropriate childcare providers and come to suitable agreements with them, but I don't put "tendering and negotiating of outsourcing contracts" on my cv because of it

Ooooh just off to add that to my CV :-)

Do you think all working parents have staff?

Well, unless family look after their kids while they're at work, yes I do.

I agree the CV stuff is wanky but the assertion that working parents do everything a SAHP does is just untrue and belittling.

I once read a CV from someone who put they had "first aid experience" on their CV with the experience being "dealt with cuts, bruises and fevers for my two under-5 children".

Went straight in the bin!

Karlos- spot on, great post!

but the assertion that working parents do everything a SAHP does is just untrue and belittling.

Genuinely not sure what an sahp does that a working parent doesn't? Do you mean spend more time? Other than that, the actual tasks are the same surely? We still have to clean, cook, sort out admin, sort out school stuff, buy clothes, help with homework?

By no means am I belittling the sahp. I'd quite like to be one, but saying they do more is belittling working parents, no?

Bluntness

I don't disagree with you, however I think if a job calls for a specific skill you have gained whilst being a sahm you should include it, just the same as you would for voluntary work, courses taken.

Of course you don't list random stuff that we all do, there are some things that both sahm and wohm do, but individual circumstances situations and experiences make us all different.

To lump either together and say well sahm does xyz and wohm does wxy is pointless.

No but getting on with tasks that are not necessarily especially rewarding but need to be done is a skill that is work relevant (depending on your type of work obviously) I'm not suggesting these things should be mentioned, but nor do I think you should write off everything a woman does in the years she may be looking after children full time as being completely without worth.

If I'm applying for a job as a lawyer or a dentist I probably wouldn't consider my SAHM experience relevant, but if I'm applying to be a youth worker, to run play schemes, or to be a carer in some way, I might well consider some of the skills gained in child rearing too be transferable.

I consider my life experiences whether while being a SAHM or when working to be a valid resource for me to draw on if I consider it to be relevant. I don't dismiss out of hand a particular occupation because it is unpaid and takes place in the home.

well my staff are teachers - my kids are at school - do all SAHP go back to work when their kids start school then?

I have one other staff member - a CM who works 9 hours a week

so yes take that off the weekly total of work I do 'looking after my family'

To explain the gap, I just say at home with small children.

Sadly, the positive thing an employer has taken from this is that the date of the years tell them my kids are now grown up, so they then state I'll be flexible with working hours etc.

So that's the bonus of explaining the gap if it's a while ago- it suggests to employers that your mothering days are behind you.

If it is relevant to the job, it's worth putting in volunteering activities you did as a SAHM - volunteering to hear reading in school, treasurer of pre school play group etc.

but the assertion that working parents do everything a SAHP does is just untrue and belittling

Ok, you need to detail that out some more. What actual activities do sahps do that working parents don't?

And kumi, agree if it's a related field, is valid to bring it up.

Actually I was asked questions recently about being a parent. I was asked for examples of resource saving activities I'd done with my kids, and examples of cutting down on waste.

This was for a company with green credentials.

Yes I mean more time spent doing it, which does give time spent doing it another quality.

I guess I'm thinking of SAHM with kids not in school yet, although you do still have some staff if you have a childminder!

It's belittling because it's essentially saying I can do everything you can do in 40 fewer hours. How is that not belittling? People often say it - it's not just in the context of this discussion which could be just about the skills entailed in doing it.

No particular position here - I work 0.8 FTE in 3 days and am with ire-schoolers 2 days.

So basically this is another thread having a go at SAHM's ...

Nope. Try reading it. Not even remotely

In fact at the moment it's having more of a pop at wohm.

not at all - it's quiet the opposite!

I couldn't give a tink rats toss if people SAH or WAH or WOH - not my bees wax

I do think it's wanky to say WOHP don't do things SAHP do and it's also wanky to list basic parenting skills on a CV

Can I just check that what you are saying binkybix is that your parenting is of a better quality because you spend more hours per week at home with your child. Coscthats what it sounds very much like