That it isn't really a honeymoon?

[jafitife]

Friends of ours are due to get married this weekend. Upon receiving the invite we were asked if we could contribute to the -very luxurious- honeymoon of their dreams, which we have. The guests can choose which items they can purchase for them such as trips, champagne breakfasts, limo transfer, plush meals in restaurants, currency for the multiple countries they will be visiting, airport transfers, flights etc and it totals roughly £15000. After meeting with them last night they spoke about how they will be heading away the day after the wedding to France for a week and the honeymoon will be in January. AIBU to think that this isn't a honeymoon and more of a holiday of a lifetime? I hear more and more now of people who get married then go on honeymoon months or even a year later. I understand that for work or health purposes for some people it has to be delayed but surely it can't be a honeymoon if you choose to have it a later date? I'm not losing sleep but intrigued as to if this is becoming more popular and others views on it?

[powernapsrule]

Lots of people now take a mini moon straight after the wedding and then a honeymoon at another time. Seems sensible if you want to get married in the summer here but want to go somewhere but there high season is at another time. It seems the norm now

We instead changed the date of our wedding so we could go on honeymoon straight after in the weather we wanted. Had 3.5 weeks off in total.

[Wotrewelookinat]

I think asking for contributions to a fantastic holiday to remember is an excellent idea for a present, why shouldn't they?? Surely it's up to the guests whether they want to give something towards this and how much.

[putdownyourphone]

Yea - it's not so much that the honeymoon is 'delayed', it's that they are having one in France and then another. There are all sorts of valid reasons for a delayed honeymoon I think - work, kids etc. but having one after the wedding and then one that every wedding guest has contributed to is a bit cheeky. Though if they had just asked for money you wouldn't have any say in what they spent it on anyway.

[Judydreamsofhorses]

We have friends who did something very similar. The gift list for the honeymoon had lots of things in the £20 - £50 bracket as well as more expensive items, so there was plenty of scope for most people's pockets. We bought them a scuba dive, which was about £45.

[CheeseCakeSunflowers]

According to my dictionary a honeymoon is "a holiday taken by a married couple immediately after their marriage." That said its up to them what they do with cash given as wedding presents but personally I'd rather put £15K towards buying a house.

[nomorebabiesyet]

Cheeky gits. We couldnt afford a honey moon so didnt have one... its not a necessity but a luxury

[meltingmarshmallows]

I think often people need to wait to see how much they get! Expecting to get 15k worth of presents seems very grabby but to each their own.

With that said, I went on honeymoon the day after my wedding and was absolutely knackered the whole time. Wished we had left it a while as the wedding was so amazing, but I was kind of overwhelmed and so tired. Didn't really feel I was in the moment much. So I can see the logic in waiting a bit & spreading out the fun.

[GarlicGrace]

YABU. It's no worse or better than having a list of home stuff at John Lewis, and they'll probably remember the holiday longer than they'd have owned a full set of matching dinnerware.

[PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon]

Isn't one a mini moon and the other a honeymoon? I thought part of the reason for a honeymoon was to go to your dream destination with the person you just married?

[sweetbitter]

I know loads of couples who did this. I guess technically it isn't the honeymoon, but I don't see it makes much difference.

[AnyFucker]

Get them a toaster

[Alpacaandgo]

Basically you're funding their holiday AND their honeymoon. Surely people plan their weddings at a time they can take a honeymoon straight after? The whole point of a honeymoon is to be with your new spouse somewhere nice to get started on married life?

[Frazzled2207]

We had a minimoon in the UK and a megamoon many months later. We had to get married in the summer for family visiting reasons, but autumn was the best time to go to our chosen destination.

£15k is ridiculous tho.

[BuzzKillington]

It's very vulgar - but then modern day wedding gifts tend to be.

Assuming there are items on the list for what you're happy to spend, say £100 or less, I wouldn't be too worried.

[EMSMUM16]

Been married now for 17 years yet to go on honeymoon lol

[ThePinkOcelot]

£15k for a holiday! That's bloody ridiculous.

[luckylucky24]

We had our honeymoon the March after we married (in July) as DH was doing a course where you only got set holidays (like nursing) and other than xmas it was the first opportunity. And we did ask for contributions towards it but in a donation way not asking people to stump up hundreds for meals, limos etc.

[Heihei]

I really don't get the Mumsnet issue with asking for money or whatever for wedding gifts. Most people live together before they get married, so why waste money on household items? Nothing is obligatory, if you don't approve don't join in. Most gusts want to give a gift at a wedding, so giving something you know the couple want takes the faff out of it. You can just get them something else, or nothing at all if you want to. Irrespective of whether it's a honey moon 'officially' (as if such a notion exists or matters), it's something the couple have suggested should their guests want to give them a gift.

[GrumpyOldBag]

Well said Heihei

[Oly5]

What does it matter to you? Really? You're being a total misery over this, it's their happy time!

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

I've never heard of a "mini moon". Why not just call it a honeymoon? Anything months later is just a holiday surely.

£15k for a holiday seems an obscene amount of money to me.

[OCSockOrphanage]

My lovely niece went away for a night in a romantic shepherd's hut after their wedding because her employer decided that she couldn't prepare for the wedding (family overseas) and go on holiday in one phase. So they had a little mini moon, and the honeymoon proper a couple of months later when school was back and rates came down. Lots of people split it up these days and it seems sensible to me. We had one night dinner bed and breakfast in a posh hotel and went back to work for two years, but that was in the 1990s recession, and we were pleased to have work to do at the time.

[Badcat666]

I went to a wedding last week where they asked for cash for their proper honeymoon next year. Was great as they knew a lot of their guests wouldn't be able to contribute on the day as most had to travel there to celebrate and pay for hotels which means us broke folk can give them cash when we have it,

They did go for a mini break afterwards but it was more to recover from doing the whole wedding and venue themselves. To me that's not a honeymoon but a trip away to chill out after all the stress and strain. they are planning a dream break next year which to them (and me) will be their proper honeymoon which they asked money towards.

I don't get this mn horror at the thought of people asking for money towards a dream honeymoon or holiday. I'd rather know that my hard earned cash went to something they will remember for years and went towards something they truly want and are planning for than a crappy gift they already have or don't need.

Holidays and honeymoons take planning and paying up front which a lot of people can't afford once they have paid out for all the wedding things which is why it's becoming more popular for newly weds to have cheap hol after the wedding and then go on a proper honeymoon months or a year later.

It's not like ye olde days when the parents would pay for the wedding, most couples pay for it all themselves these days.

[NoParticularPattern]

We got married in July and won't be managing to go anywhere until Oct/Nov at the earliest. This is simply because my DH is a farmer and no way on this planet can he afford to have time off in the middle of the summer. One day for the wedding is rather a different kettle of fish to a whole week. Does that mean it won't class as a honeymoon?!

I also think you are coming up with a total they "want" spending on this honeymoon based on accumulating all the things they have listed. These are not things that I imagine they will be doing regardless, but things that if someone pays for it that they will do. Whilst most people's ideas of wedding gifts are glassware or silver photo frames, perhaps others' ideas are memorable meals out or luxurious airport transfers. Yes they are just ways of asking for cash which can usually be swapped and changed to suit them (ours could) but at the end of the day you are, presumably, spending the same amount regardless of the gift and at least you will know that they will appreciate it- even if they choose to alter what they originally asked for.

[Gizlotsmum]

Got married in May went on honeymoon in September ( better weather for what we wanted). We had a list for contributions to the honeymoon and ( if I remember) it had to close a certain period before the holiday.