AIBU to feel slightly worried about my nanny's 8 year old boy being present whilst my 5 year old girl is taking a bath or sitting on the loo?

[CrazyolMama]

I allow my nanny, (whom I really appreciate), to bring her 8y old boy to work with her WHENEVER she needs to. However, I feel a tiny bit concerned that my 5y old twin girls don't have any privacy from him when he is around. (And I hasten to add, he is a delightful little boy). He's present when they are bathing, dressing, pooing, weeing. AIBU to be concerned..,.....? Even a tiny bit??? Am I creating an issue that really doesn't exist??

Am I creating an issue that really doesn't exist??

Yes. Yes you are.

They're only 5 and he's only 8, but I still think they should be given some privacy. Not that I think anything untoward mind.

I wouldn't think there's anything sinister about it but can't see why an 8 year old boy needs to/wants to be present for those things, ie toilet etc. They are entitled to privacy like anyone else.

Personally, I don't think it's appropriate that he is present when they are using the bathroom or dressing. He's 8 years old, it's not like he needs constant supervision like a 3 year old would. Why isn't he in another room or watching tv while the Nanny is bathing and dressing your girls?

No, I'd be uncomfortable with that. YANBU. Perhaps a chat with her is in order, informally being gentle -over tea and biscuits - because her son / your children are a sensitive subject?

I'm not sure I see a problem with it. What would you prefer the nanny to do?

Btw - don't mean to sound snotty but it's 'no HOLDS barred'. 'No holes barred' is potentially very different and some people might get the wrong idea.

I don't think you are being unreasonable. Your daughters should be learning that their bodies are private. He is not a toddler, Surely he could wait in the living room with a screen or book.

No wild potential paedo cries just an acknowledgement that your girls are old enough to expect some privacy now.

He shouldnt be in the room when they are in the bathroom for any reason. No present when they are being dressed. He is 8, hrs old enough to be alone in another room whilst doing those things.

Surely your DDs can go on the toilet themselves? And Nanny's DS can occupy himself downstairs while they bathe?

Why does he need to be in the bathroom with them? I don't see that that's necessary at all.

I'm confused, why is he in the toilet with them?

Why is he even present during those private times ?

I agree to the bathing, is she scared to leave him alone incase he breaks something/goes somewhere he shouldn't?
Cant your 5 year olds use the toilet themselves?
It's a school policy at my dds school that by reception age they can go by themselves.

How do you know he's present all the time? This seems bizarre.

Yes is she treating him like a toddler? Or is she worried hell break stuff?

Why is he in the room? That's weird and inappropriate. He can surely entertain himself for a while? I wouldn't be allowing this.

There's no need for him to be there so he shouldn't be. He's old enough to occupy himself for a few minutes while the nanny helps your DD's with these private things.

If he was your own 8 year old son, you wouldn't have him in the bathroom while seeing to your 5 year olds. It's just not necessary and it is important that children have appropriate levels of privacy as they get older.

Do your 5 year olds need anyone in the room at all while they're on the toilet?

No need whatsoever for him to need to be in the room in those situations.
Why is the nanny even there when they go for a wee?
Why can't HE be left unsupervised?

Surely they don't need anyone watching them when they are having a poo don't they close the door?

Wait..... is the nanny with them when they go to the toilet? Do they have problems going alone? I think if the 8 yr old is around mum all the time then it's something that might just need to be accepted or mentioned. I would think toilet activities are a step too far. Baths, ok I don't see it as a problem as they are still young and innocent. But pooping? Naw.

Is there a reason why your 5 year olds should be supervised by anyone when they are using the toilet?

Pigface, you got there ahead of me.

How do you know all this is happening? Have your daughters said something?

I can't see why an eight-year-old would be following his mother round for every second of her day, or why your five year olds need the nanny to take them to the loo. Presumably they go to the loo on their own at school?

Most eight year olds would amuse themselves while their mum was working, I think. I don't think anything sounds harmful, just unlikely: have you definitely got the right end of the stick?

(By the way: not to be a horrible picky twat, but it's 'no holds barred', not 'no holes barred'. I'd never normally mention that, but in the context of your post the typo could be misleading in quite a grim way.)

Sooooo, let me get this straight........ Your trying to tell us that when one of your DD1 needs the toilet, the nanny, her DS, and your DD2 all get up and go with DD1.

They don't do they.........