AIBU to feel slightly worried about my nanny's 8 year old boy being present whilst my 5 year old girl is taking a bath or sitting on the loo?

[CrazyolMama]

I allow my nanny, (whom I really appreciate), to bring her 8y old boy to work with her WHENEVER she needs to. However, I feel a tiny bit concerned that my 5y old twin girls don't have any privacy from him when he is around. (And I hasten to add, he is a delightful little boy). He's present when they are bathing, dressing, pooing, weeing. AIBU to be concerned..,.....? Even a tiny bit??? Am I creating an issue that really doesn't exist??

Op disappeared?

Interesting.

Hi all,

We're not sure what's happened here! we don't, as a rule, edit without letting you know - we'll do our best to make sure it doesn't happen again. Apologies

The op seems to have gone, but if she's still reading, I'd ask are you sure op? That he is in the bathroom and the loo with them? Or simply in th house?

lol my DS6 and DSD9 take baths together, they are the best of friends and love playing in there, why make it weird? as soon as one of them decides to stop, then ofcourse they will.

@rivertam I only say because the OP's problem seems to stem from the childs sex, not the childs presence.

She specifically mentions that he is a boy and her twins are girls. It has no relevance to the story if it was just a privacy issue. For the record I agree that the children are entitled to privacy I was only commenting about her seeming concerned because the children are opposite sex rather than a privacy concern.

How old are you all?

When I went to primary school, 8 year old boys definitely took an avid interest in women's underwear catalogues, and made lewd comments to the unfortunate female classmates who had already developed breasts.

That was about 20 years ago, when children had limited or no access to porn.

Y'all may feel your 8 year old sons are still babies, but as a girl growing up, I definitely observed that some boys that age do show sexual behaviour.

@katherinemumsnet did you find out why this was edited so mysteriously?

I would think it strange too. 8 is about the age they start being segregated for going to the toilet etc so no a child of the opposite sex shouldn't be present whilst others use the toilet or bath. Even if they don't request the privacy it shouldn't be assumed they are ok with him being there.

By 5 I would expect them to use the toilet ok by themselves (in their own home where step up stools and any toilet seats and locks adapted etc)

Yes they would probabky need help washing hair however its odd the 8 yr old can't watch a cartoon while the nanny does it.

If your children and/or nanny's child are disabled then I can see why they need help in the loo or getting changed but it's definitely not the norm.

At school 8 year old boys change separately to 8 year old girls so he shouldn't be insulted if the nanny left the room with the boy while the girls changed or asked the boy to leave the bathroom while they were having a bath. (Basically the same rules as if the 3 kids were full siblings. )