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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

AIBU to feel slightly worried about my nanny's 8 year old boy being present whilst my 5 year old girl is taking a bath or sitting on the loo?

84 replies

CrazyolMama · 16/08/2017 18:06

I allow my nanny, (whom I really appreciate), to bring her 8y old boy to work with her WHENEVER she needs to. However, I feel a tiny bit concerned that my 5y old twin girls don't have any privacy from him when he is around. (And I hasten to add, he is a delightful little boy). He's present when they are bathing, dressing, pooing, weeing. AIBU to be concerned..,.....? Even a tiny bit??? Am I creating an issue that really doesn't exist??

OP posts:
Albadross · 16/08/2017 19:16

My 4 year old tells me to go away and shut the door when having a poo (although we're all fairly non-plussed about weeing with an open door). Seems weird she's there at all as everyone else has said already.

JuicyStrawberry · 16/08/2017 19:18

Maybe she just likes to keep an eye on him at all times while they are in your house? If he broke something like an ornament while she's upstairs bathing your girls what would your reaction be?

MsWanaBanana · 16/08/2017 19:19

My 2 year old twins don't even let me stay in the toilet with them if they're pooing. They just call me to wipe when they're finished. My 5 year old has been peeing and pooing by herself since she was 2 aswell

CycleHire · 16/08/2017 19:28

This does seem odd to me. Where we take my son swimming age 8 is when they have to start using the correct changing room. So that seems a suitable age when he shouldn't be around when your girls are undressed.

JessieMcJessie · 16/08/2017 19:29

What I am going on with "no holes/holds barred"? Where did OP say that? Confused

StealthPolarBear · 16/08/2017 19:38

I have a boy and a girl, 10 and 8. Most of the time they shut the door sometimes they don't. It's no big deal precisely because they are brother and sister. Dd can yell "oi get out" to DS without feeling shy. With an unrelated child there will be shyness, nervousness, not wanting to make a fuss. Which is why I think it's a big deal.

StealthPolarBear · 16/08/2017 19:39

In the op jessie

steff13 · 16/08/2017 19:46

A NT five-year-old should be able to dress and go to the toilet by themselves, right? Mine all did. I mean, their clothing choices weren't the best, but they could do it on their own. I don't know why anyone needs to be with them for that. I wouldn't like it, not that it's untoward, but I would want them to have some privacy, and they should be learning at that age about privacy and body autonomy.

Montsti · 16/08/2017 19:47

I have an almost 8 year old son and a 5 year old daughter and my son has no interest in watching her bath/go to the loo so I do find it odd that your nanny's son would be present when this happens. My 5 year old also goes to the loo on her own without supervision...

I do find it odd that he is present when these things happen...so that, in itself would make me uncomfortable...

Alpacaandgo · 16/08/2017 19:50

Are you assuming that he watches them go to the loo or have a bath? Or is it just because he's in the house whenever they do? I know of no 8 year old yet that would follow a 5 year old to watch them poo or bath or get dressed Confused this makes zero sense.

BabsGanoush · 16/08/2017 19:54

'No holes..' am I blind or has this been edited?

iMatter · 16/08/2017 19:54

Your children should be going to the loo without an audience, adult, child or otherwise.

AnyFucker · 16/08/2017 20:08

The op has been edited

HQ usually post to tell us that though Hmm

It definitely said "no holes barred" in the op

Motoko · 16/08/2017 20:17

Oh, thank fuck for that! I thought I was going blind, as I read the OP and other posts before Pigface's post, and couldn't see "no holes barred" in any of them. I read them really carefully a few times and even commented to my husband about it!
I didn't know posts could get edited.

OP, I agree with the others. Your DDs should have privacy.

StealthPolarBear · 16/08/2017 20:17

It was definitely there

AnyFucker · 16/08/2017 20:29

It's quite strange actually

Are we being gaslighted ?

Pengggwn · 16/08/2017 20:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StealthPolarBear · 16/08/2017 20:52

I thought they'd have corrected it but they've removed it entirely as far as I can see

AnyFucker · 16/08/2017 20:55

There looks to be a whole paragraph missing actually. The op looks quite a bit shorter.

EezerGoode · 16/08/2017 20:59

Why is she allowing him in....ive an 8 yr old boy...first he wouldn't want to be in while they use the loo.second why is she allowing it....yr problem is the nanny...I can't belive she thought that appropriate...and why is no one listening to yr daughters,don't they have a say who gives in the loo with them....that's totally gross and inappropriate...you need a new nanny

MadamePomfrey · 16/08/2017 21:06

I don't think the op is that much shorter than when I got here, seems to be to be one line which was something like she has no holds/holes barred with him. But it may have been edited more than once odd of hq not to say though Confused

junebirthdaygirl · 16/08/2017 21:20

If he was their big brother he would not be in the bathroom with them so same applies here. This needs to be stopped as they need to learn about privacy and be given that.

EachandEveryone · 17/08/2017 06:33

Where is the OP?

Believeitornot · 17/08/2017 06:40

OP if you don't like it then you tell your nanny. You don't need to explain yourself.

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/08/2017 06:53

No need for him or any child even if was sibling to be in toilet with the girls

Does seem strange your girls don't gonalone. They are school ages and assume quite capable

Do they share a bath? Would you prefer them not to?