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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu? It's a mil one... nursery photo

83 replies

Walkthroughthefire · 16/08/2017 17:18

It was Ds first day at nursery today. For a specific reason I've deactivated facebook this week with the aim of going back next week to share pics of first day etc. It's a really emotional day for me for various reasons.
I sent a couple of pics to grandparents which were not for public view as they have the name of ds nursery in them.
Dh has just told me his mum has shared on fb. I'm pretty annoyed because a, it's our first and right to share and b, nursery name thing.
I've messaged her and (politely) asked her to remove it. Dh thinks I'm massively unreasonable and she'll now be upset.
Àibu to be upset and have emailed her?

OP posts:
PandorasXbox · 16/08/2017 17:22

Did you tell her not to put it on FB?

Walkthroughthefire · 16/08/2017 17:23

No but it was a surprise as she very rarely post at all and almost never photos

OP posts:
jelliebelly · 16/08/2017 17:25

Unless you asked her not to and/or explained some of the reasons you've alluded to in this post then YABU

Whosthemummynow · 16/08/2017 17:25

Are you just annoyed she posted the pic before you did?

Gorgosparta · 16/08/2017 17:26

Yabu.

You didnt ask her not to. How was she to know?

You cant see them, does it matter?

PandorasXbox · 16/08/2017 17:26

But if you knew you didn't want them online because they had the name of the nursery on them you really should have mentioned it.

AngeloftheSouth84 · 16/08/2017 17:26

If you didn't tell her, YABU. People are not psychic. You shared, unless you told her it was for her eyes only, then in this day and age you can automatically assume it will be shared by others

YouRat · 16/08/2017 17:26

So if she didn't know she wasn't supposed to share this pic. How is it her fault ? She's just as proud and happy for her GC so probably wanted to share. I wouldn't have asked her to take it down. Just share your pictures on your Facebook too.

Reden89 · 16/08/2017 17:26

I would 100% be like you. When it's your child for a special event like that especially it's your decision to share it no one else's! My mum recently told all my family about our secret wedding and couldn't wait for me to break the news myself Hmm families... my DH never thinks anything is a big deal, he just keeps out of it and thinks I'm over sensitive about things. But it's your child not theirs at the end of the day xxx

manhowdy · 16/08/2017 17:27

YABU if the main reason is you wanted to share first. It's not like she announced your child's birth. It's the first day at nursery and in honesty not that interesting.

However, if you are genuinely concerned about your DSs location being made public then YANBU.

Fekko · 16/08/2017 17:27

In the great scheme of things it doesn't matter a jot.

Did he enjoy nursery?

Glumglowworm · 16/08/2017 17:27

YANBU for not wanting it online at all, YABU for expecting her to read your mind and know that without you telling her

TheVanguardSix · 16/08/2017 17:27

YAB a tad bit U, but I get your point of view. Don't sweat the small stuff, OP. It's not worth the conflict.
Congratulations on such a big and very emotional milestone. Flowers

RicottaPancakes · 16/08/2017 17:28

Of course she shouldn' t have done that! It's not her child. You don't post photos of other people's children.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 16/08/2017 17:28

It's a shame you're upset but I don't think your MiL has done anything wrong.

I don't do FB at all so maybe I just don't get the angst it raises.

PodgeBod · 16/08/2017 17:28

Yanbu to not want the name of the nursery shared but it sounds more like you're upset that she posted first which is a bit drama llama. She's proud of her grandchild which is nice.

Strokethefurrywall · 16/08/2017 17:28

Jesus peace. Why does anyone think that other people care that their child has started nursery?

It's a big deal to you. It is not a big deal to other people. Even without any further information I'm going to go right ahead and let you know YABU and a PFB pain in the ass.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 16/08/2017 17:29

Hardly her fault if you didn't say anything.

YABU

AngeloftheSouth84 · 16/08/2017 17:29

And if for whatever reason the name of the nursery needs to remain anonymous, then don't take a photo with the name of the nursery in it

Ropsleybunny · 16/08/2017 17:29

YABU.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 16/08/2017 17:29

You don't post photos of other people's children It's the child's Grandparent, not just anyone.

PandorasXbox · 16/08/2017 17:30

Ricotta it's not just "other people's children" it's her grandson. She's not a mind reader, she should have been told not to put it on SM.

LittleOwl153 · 16/08/2017 17:30

Can you report her photo to Facebook and ask to remove it because of the nursery name?

CardsforKittens · 16/08/2017 17:31

I think if these are pictures that you took, no one else should be sharing them. I also think your MIL would be unreasonable to get upset at being asked to remove them. All she needs to do is say, "Oh, ok - if you don't want them on Facebook I'll take them off." And then she should remember to ask before sharing any of your photos in the future.

If this is the first time she's done something like this it's not worth getting annoyed at her - different generations seem to have different approaches to sharing things on Facebook. As long as she respects your views from now on, that's the main thing.

Laiste · 16/08/2017 17:31

I've messaged her and (politely) asked her to remove it. Dh thinks I'm massively unreasonable and she'll now be upset.
Àibu to be upset and have emailed her?

You politely asked her to remove it. What's the big deal? Why would she be upset? Hmm

Is DH concerned about you being upset at all?

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