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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed that DH won't get out of bed?

109 replies

pikeletwithbutter · 16/08/2017 09:27

Because it's honestly starting to drive me mad and I'm not sure if I'm BU?

Apart from when he has to be up for work DH never surfaces before 9.30am at the very earliest. He often works late shifts as well, and will sleep later those days too. He didn't get up until nearly 10.30am yesterday!

I'm an early riser admittedly, but I'm fed up with always having to chase him out of bed. We also have a puppy and a cat, and nine times out of ten it's me who gets up to feed them, take puppy out etc.

I've tried explaining so many times how much I would appreciate him getting up at a decent time occasionally, but it never happens.

AIBU? Because I'm really getting fed up with it.

OP posts:

ItsALardBaby · 16/08/2017 09:29

Why do you want him up?
If you're up anyway why is it an issue to feed the pets?
Do you have DC?

Qvar · 16/08/2017 09:30

10.30 am is a decent time. What is he not doing that you want him to do?

teaandtoast · 16/08/2017 09:31

Perhaps he's annoyed you go to bed so early. You're missing the best part of the night!

Fruitcocktail6 · 16/08/2017 09:32

Why do you want him to get up earlier?

RhubardGin · 16/08/2017 09:33

I don't really see the issue to be honest

What is it that you want him to do that can't wait until after he gets up?

If you are up early anyway what's the issue with you seeing to the pets?

Original poster

pikeletwithbutter · 16/08/2017 09:34

Because I think a relationship should be teamwork and I shouldn't shoulder 90% of the responsibility for the pets he also really wanted.

I'm fed up with having to organise him. I'm going to have to drag him out of bed now to keep an eye on puppy while I get ready for work.

It's the lack of consideration that annoys me. He just doesn't think "I should get up now as DW needs to get ready" He just stays in bed until I ask him. I feel like his mum!

We don't have DC. I have fertility issues.

OP posts:

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 16/08/2017 09:35

YABU.

I don't think you should get to dictate when he gets up tbh. Sounds like a dictatorship rather than a relationship.

Oddsocksforeveryone · 16/08/2017 09:36

Seems I'm in the minority but it would bug me. You probably only have 3 options though if you've tried to talk to him already. You could go back to bed, get up and go out our just learn to live with it. Some people like to get up and get the day started early, some don't I'm afraid.

Justdontknow4321 · 16/08/2017 09:36

When you say he's working late ? How late ?

I don't see a problem with getting up at 9.30, that's not late. I'd call it average, specially if the person doesn't need to be up for anything in particular.

I'm guessing you have no kids hence you only mentioned the animals.

Justdontknow4321 · 16/08/2017 09:37

Put the puppy in a puppy pen while you get ready

ClopySow · 16/08/2017 09:37

I'm an early riser. I would never chase someone out of bed unless it was to take turns with children. Even then, i'd probably just get up because i'm awake anyway.

People have different sleep patterns. Just because yours is early, doesn't make it better or right.

Gorgosparta · 16/08/2017 09:39

Ffs. Theres no kids?

I have pets. Dd dog was a puppy last year. I also have 2 kids (youngest 6). I can also get ready without having dh to get up.

I am an early riser. No way would i tell dh what time he should get up.

LadyPenelope68 · 16/08/2017 09:40

If he's working late then I don't see anything wrong with him getting up at that time, I don't consider that particularly late (and I'm an early riser). Also everyone has different sleep patterns, we can't all be the same. The puppy thing is totally irrelevant to the argument IMO, just put them in the puppy crate while you get ready, easy.

PinkHeart5911 · 16/08/2017 09:40

Yabu

His a grown adult he can decide when he wants to get up. No way would I be getting up when you demand to look after a cat or dog

It's the lack of consideration that annoys me. He just doesn't think "I should get up now as DW needs to get ready" He just stays in bed until I ask him wtf? 😂 I would told you to fuck off a long time ago

CookiesFromTheCookieJar · 16/08/2017 09:41

Don't have children with him whatever you do!!!!!

Gorgosparta · 16/08/2017 09:41

I am just trying to imagine dh telling me to not sleep, because he needed to get ready. I think i would laugh and say 'get ready then'.

BackieJerkhart · 16/08/2017 09:42

We also have a puppy

Why on earth did you get a puppy knowing he doesn't wake up to take it outside in the mornings?

LadyPenelope68 · 16/08/2017 09:42

"I should get up now as DW needs to get ready"
What a bizarre comment, you come across as very entitled!

5rivers7hills · 16/08/2017 09:42

Because I think a relationship should be teamwork and I shouldn't shoulder 90% of the responsibility for the pets he also really wanted.

But he is up later than you so can do stuff with them before he goes to bed like let the dog out for a wee?

sororitynoise · 16/08/2017 09:44

YABU, you don't have DC to get up for.
If you resent caring for the pets in the morning, that's probably a good thing anyway.

Rehome the animals or stop complaining.

BusterGonad · 16/08/2017 09:45

I can't see the problem, if you had young children then it would be a different matter all together. A cat and a puppy are not really the same as a screaming baby with a full nappy!

SendintheArdwolves · 16/08/2017 09:45

It might be just as annoying for him that you seem to want to chivvy him out of bed for no reason!

"AIBU: my partner is always waking me up. She is an early riser and seems to be cross with me because I like to sleep till about 9.30am on days when I don't have work (when I do have work, I get up but I like to lie in on my days off). She gets up earlier than me and is always huffing and puffing and trying to get me to get up as well. She says she wants me to feed the dog and cat, but I don't see why she can't feed them in the morning (since she's up anyway) and I feed them in the evening. AIBU to think that I ought to be able to enjoy a later start on my day off?"

Be honest, OP, has this always bothered you, and the puppy has just given you an excuse to complain about it and feel justified?

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 16/08/2017 09:45

I am just trying to imagine dh telling me to not sleep, because he needed to get ready. I think i would laugh and say 'get ready then'.

^this

I can just imagine mine or DH response if we said that to each other.

He is an adult. Try treating him like one.

CommunistLegoOoOoBloc · 16/08/2017 09:46

So he's not at work on those days?

I work from home mostly. DP gets up waaaaaay before I do I'm working from my bed right now. If he told me to get up, I'd throw a lamp at him.

5rivers7hills · 16/08/2017 09:47

Gosh how do people cope when they get a puppy on their own! Use a puppy pen or a crate?

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