Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hide the flipping condiments?

150 replies

winobaglady · 15/08/2017 21:53

Every. Flickin. Meal,
I dish up in the kitchen and before tasting he grinds pepper over whatever I've cooked.
I don't cook every night, but when I do AIBU in expecting him to taste it first?
His parents are the same when they visit. Dish up, straight onto the salt and pepper. AIBU to think it's rude?

OP posts:
flamencia · 15/08/2017 23:38

It's rude if it's someone who you don't normally cook for. They won't know how your dishes taste so they should try it first. But if you cook regularly and it's your spouse then they probably know without tasting whether they'll need salt.

I'm the cook in my house and I hardly ever use pepper. DW adds lashings because she likes it. If people have different tastes it's easier to cook with less and season individually on the plate.

PicardsCombOver · 15/08/2017 23:41

Some people just like food. I don't eat meals without cracked black pepper. I don't think food is bland without it - I just don't think food is food without it. I have never and will never add it to food that someone has made at their home though. YABU (A teensy bit) only because some people like what they like!

Goldfishshoals · 15/08/2017 23:41

The op doesn't have a problem with adding condiments - it's the doing it without even tasting the food that's idiotic.

To use your tea anology, say you usually add one spoonful of sugar to your tea, you wouldn't just add an extra if the person making the tea had already put one in (or two, or three) etc, would you?

Goldfishshoals · 15/08/2017 23:42

Sorry, was replying to Flatpackback

CoughLaughFart · 15/08/2017 23:45

I like a lot of salt and that's my choice. My individual taste is not a slight to those who cook a meal.

I will normally always taste first as I don't know how much salt is in something I haven't cooked, but not putting salt and pepper on the table is presumptuous. It suggests you know what I should like better than I do.

This is a pet peeve of mine in restaurants. I once asked for salt and the waitress said in a rather supercilious tone, 'Have you tried it?' I said 'No - but I am paying for it'.

You wouldn't buy a friend a top for their birthday and tell them they couldn't wear a brooch with it - why would you tell them how to eat their meal just because you cooked it?

CoughLaughFart · 15/08/2017 23:48

*This drove me fucking INSANE when I got together with DH. Every meal, from sandwiches to curry would be salted to hell before even tasting it. I asked him if my cooking was shit and he said, no of course not. So I told him no more salt until he at least tries it first to see if it's needed! Now salt is hardly used, except on chips of course!

We once had an acquaintance of DFs who used to pop round whenever we were cooking and expect to be fed. He wasn't a good friend or anything, they were just in the same pheasant shoot and he was a greedy fucker. He annoyed the hell out of DM and I. He would tip the salt upside down for what felt like minutes and would pepper the hell out of the meals before even tasting them. DM was not impressed. One day she made a meal for DF that was rather peppery by nature. He walked in and actually served himself a bowlful straight from the pot! She told him not to put any salt or pepper on it (as she always did) and he ignored her, peppered it to hell as usual then went bright red, coughing and spluttering telling her it was far too peppery. She told him if he wasn't so fucking rude and ignorant he would have enjoyed the meal she had actually made for her DH. She then started putting dinner on hold, hiding pans of food in the microwave and oven if he turned up at meal times. She'd pretend he'd missed the meal.*

It sounds like you inherited your hyper-controlling attitude from your mother. I would have ditched you the minute you told me how to eat my own dinner.

PodgeBod · 15/08/2017 23:49

Pepper I can give or take, but if somebody doesn't use salt in their cooking then I know I'm going to want salt. Other herbs and spices do not make up for a lack of a salt because salt brings out the natural flavour of the food.

HeddaGarbled · 16/08/2017 00:01

His dinner, his choice. Leave him alone. It's just pepper. Me, I could put Hellmans Mayo on pretty much anything but have learned to restrain myself because of the adverse reaction from the chef (but still think the meal would be better with Hellmans).

DoJo · 16/08/2017 00:03

My husband knows that I like less pepper and spice than he does, so always adds them himself as I wouldn't cook something that I then wouldn't like when he can add the amount of pepper and hot sauce that he would choose to have.

He does it when we're out as well, and it doesn't bother me - he likes a lot of pepper and heat, and most places wouldn't dream of serving food for general consumption with his level of condiments!

soapboxqueen · 16/08/2017 00:06

Adding salt without tasting is rude. You are announcing that you think your host cannot cook. That they haven't prepared the meal correctly. There's a reason many high end restaurants don't have salt on the table because the assumption is that the chef will have prepared the meal with the correct amount of seasoning. To ask for salt is to assume he or she cannot do their job properly.

Pepper and other flavours are different in that they aren't always added and generally not in the same way as salt is.

If someone cooks for you regularly you may get used to how they cook and have a pretty good idea how they season. Though variations in recipes/produce would mean it would still be wise to check first.

I personally have loathing of people who cover everything in ketchup/HP/hot sauce no matter what is in front of them. I don't cook for them a second time. I'm not putting myself out so you can eat a different kind of ketchup flavoured meal.

User02 · 16/08/2017 00:08

Invite the parents for a meal. Leave parents and DH talking while you go in the kitchen. Put tons of salt and pepper on the cooked food, say that you have seasoned the meal let them add more and expect them to eat every morsel.

MrsOverTheRoad · 16/08/2017 00:13

My DH likes the pepper lying on top of the food rather than IN it. It's different. It's not rude. It would be ruder to taste then season!

Alpacaandgo · 16/08/2017 00:13

YANBU it's rude (and daft) to season food without tasting it first to see if it needs it.

CoughLaughFart · 16/08/2017 00:23

There's a reason many high end restaurants don't have salt on the table

Yes - they're pretentious.

soapboxqueen · 16/08/2017 00:28

Cough if by pretentious you mean they think they can cook food to a reasonable standard. Sure.

Notknownatthisaddress · 16/08/2017 00:33

YABU. Loads of people like extra salt and pepper. It's not an insult to peoples cooking. It's just different tastes. My hubby has it on everything. I don't give a shit. If he enjoys it laden with salt (even when it's got salt in it already!) then good for him. Why should I be offended? Confused

People who are offended are a bit precious IMO.

PodgeBod · 16/08/2017 00:33

Why is it such an insult to have someone season their food? Some of us just like our food more salty/peppery. There's no way any chef can prepare a meal correctly for 200 different sets of tastebuds.

CoughLaughFart · 16/08/2017 00:34

Yes Soapbox, the assumption that they know exactly how every single customer wants their food to taste is pretentious.

Have you never bought a dress and then accessorised it at a later date? Isn't that being rude to the designer? According to your logic, they knew exactly how it should look and any change is an insult.

HeadfirstForHalos · 16/08/2017 00:34

Salt and pepper on top of food tastes different than cooked into the food. I love pepper on food, so what? I add itvto food I've cooked mtself too.

I like the cup of tea analogy, I can't abide sugar in hot drinks, but i wouldn't chuck a hissy fit if I made someone a tea/coffee and they added sugar Hmm

HeadfirstForHalos · 16/08/2017 00:37

A good cook would only lightly season food with salt and pepper anyway . Then the person eating can season it to their own personal taste.

bumblingbovine49 · 16/08/2017 00:43

I pretty much always add salt to my food before tasting if DH has cooked as I have lived with him for 15 years and he always under seasons his cooking (for my taste anyway). At someone else's house I would always taste it first as I wouldn't know what they cook like.

soapboxqueen · 16/08/2017 00:45

Cough the point was about salting food before tasting it. However, if you don't like how the food is prepared in one restaurant, don't go back. How on earth are you ever supposed to try anything new if you assume everything has to taste the way you always have it. It's bizarre.

You're clothing analogy only works if you demanded that the design of a garment was fundamentally changed before purchasing it. Accessories would be pepper and sauces. Salt is a fundamental part of cooking. It isn't an accessory.

gingergenius · 16/08/2017 00:48

Yep. Boils my fecking piss. Even my kids know it's good manners to at least taste your food before you add extra seasoning. Unless it's chips, in which case all bets are off!!!

soapboxqueen · 16/08/2017 00:51

Entirely agree there ginger. Chips a a different matter altogether 😁

timeisnotaline · 16/08/2017 00:54

I thought you were going to say tomato sauce! Now that is legitimately annoying!