WIBU to have told junior colleague she was being ridiculous?

[Purplemac]

She is driving me crazy!

Sweet young lady, only 18 and has been with us for about 9 months now. However as time has passed she has gotten more and more irritating. I was on her interview panel, she is intelligent and has some great A Level results etc but she really plays on the "pretty and dumb" thing to the extent where if you had a conversation with her you wouldn't think she had an education at all. Examples include asking me if potatoes had meat in them (not a specific potato dish, just an actual potato), and asking if bacon comes from a pig.

The latest is she has suddenly developed an aversion to flies. Whenever there is a fly in the office, she jumps up from her desk, shouts "A BEE, A BEE" (and I mean really shouts), darts across the room, and refuses to calm down. We have explained to her that no, it is not a bee, it is a fly and it is harmless. "NO no it's a bee, it was buzzing". Yes, but it's still a fly.

She has lived in the UK her whole life, I really don't think this is the first time she has encountered a bloody fly and I can't imagine she would have jumped up from her desk and darted across the room when she was at a private school. It has happened every day now for about a week and today I have snapped at her and told her she is being ridiculous and to calm down, it is not appropriate for her to make such a scene. She spent about an hour sulking and not saying a word, and then had a catch up with her line manager (who sits in a different office and who is also junior to me) and has complained that I am picking on her!!

She won't make a formal complaint as my manager, who is the head of the office, was sat right infront of me the whole time and witnessed it, and knows that I am not picking on her I am just increasingly irritated by her behaviour, as is everyone else in the office.

WIBU to have told her she was being ridiculous? I have told her every time this has happened over the past week that there is nothing to worry about, the fly won't hurt her etc etc so I have tried to be sensitive in my handling of the situation but I am fed up of having to treat her like a child when she is an adult!!

Yes, Penggwn, but you don't interrupt two senior colleagues who are talking about work, in order to make small talk, do you?

Can you introduce her to an eligible young banker?

I think I'd have to ask her why a privately educated young lady with A levels was such an airhead. I can't bear ditsy girls who play to the gallery although I've rarely if ever come across them in the workplace, more usually outside work.

But I guess making that sort of comment to her would be career limiting for me.

If she's been there less than 2 years you can get rid, Civil Service or not.

This sounds like it's blown out of all proportion - for a start I'm surprised that so many people in your office know she's being performance managed, as that is supposed to be a private process between line manager and employee.

I don't mean to be rude but your office (and many PPs) sounds very much like one I worked in when I was in not for profit sector - lots of time-served staff with their noses out of joint if someone doesn't fit the mould, lots of gossiping behind people's backs, and personal comments about appearance and motivation of young pretty women.

I see the same flighty behaviour from grads in private sector now (including ridiculously tight-fitting office clothing!) but we invest and develop them into great workers, instead of expecting them to arrive with the same attributes as a professional 40 yr old

I used to work with someone like this and it drove me crazy. To the point where she asked for a standing desk as she could feel herself "putting on weight" - she was a size 4. She would also on someone's birthday when they brought in cakes speak in loud tones about how bad bread was for you and she would never touch it. 2 days later I caught her eating a baguette sitting outside the office on the grass 😂 they're just attention seekers. You have every right to tell her to stop being so silly - it's all just showing off at that age. Hopefully she'll grow up soon!

I think you've been very reasonable and patient, based on your description of the situation.

Being young is no excuse - I've had interns in the past who have been incredibly professional and smart and curious and I've genuinely learnt from. I'd be so disappointed with this behaviour from anyone.

It is those Essex and reality tv shows which encourage girls to behave thick and 'ditzy' as it makes them look cute.
It is bloody irritating.
It is the modern day trophy wife.

She's insufferable, hot in Dubai in the Summer , what did she reasonably expect your response to be?

The 'no way' parrot style echo would also grate like a nail down a chalkboard.

I have no advice sorry.

I also wouldn't bother taking her for a coffee as it will make her feel special. Just leave her to it and ignore as best as you can!

YWNBU at all.
She needs to learn whilst she's 18.

I have a colleague like this but they're in their 30s. Always acting ditzy, brown noses, regularly interrupts normal conversation to make entirely irrelevant and pointless observations. The problem is our managers seem to think this is cute and a sign that she lacks confidence so it's best ignored because if you even so much as breathe incorrectly around her or speak to other colleagues (about any number of professional topics) then she runs and tells on you saying everyone being mean
That kind of behaviour being indulged drives me mad.

I think you should step back and let your manager manage the situation and her.
She spent 7 months in the other office. Her team must have a good grasp of her working style. She's already mentioned to a manager that you are picking on her. For that reason, you should be wary of interacting with her at all.
I have to agree with a PP. Your workplace sounds very unprofessional. Her manager shouldn't have told you that she made an unofficial complaint against you.

your office know she's being performance managed, as that is supposed to be a private process between line manager and employee

I have to agree with a PP. Your workplace sounds very unprofessional. Her manager shouldn't have told you that she made an unofficial complaint against you.

It's really not unprofessional for starters, she is not being performance managed, her manager (let's call her C) is - C confided this in me herself as I mentor her. I know that our management team is investigating whether younger colleagues contract can be terminated early because I manage the HR issues in the office. It is not unprofessional at all for me to know these things?

As for her manager C telling me she had made an unofficial complaint with me - I don't particularly see that as unprofessional either although it isn't something I would do. That said, I have already mentioned that C has basically given up on acting in a professional capacity anyway so her attitude isn't exactly great.

I seriously think you've got my SIL! If you have good luck 👍🏼

Haha thanks YouCant but this lady is the oldest of all her siblings so unless you married her 16 year old brother I think it's not! Which is worrying that there's so many like her though!