To be annoyed my DP is talking to a girl

[tinkerbelle1]

One he used to fancy, possibly even DTD with. Pretty much the one that got away. He's called her perfect stunning etc. All the words he wouldn't use for me

Ok yes I'm BU aren't I? But this is how our relationship started because I cheated with him on my partner. I feel like karma is coming back around.

I just don't understand why he would take the baby with him.

I don't think it's that hard to understand, some confusion in the beginning but now everything's cleared up if pp RTFT then it's quite obvious:

-"Girl " is 21 OP and DP are 23
-DP and girl spoke in 2013 where he may have had consensual ( as in legal age sex) with her, called her pretty etc

• she is Latvian and goes home a lot so has "Latvian adventures"
• DP said he'd like to have the child if they split, not that he would

Seems like some initial confusion followed by posters not RTFT

how and when did he meet her? How was she here years ago from Latvia?

I am really confused

I'm sorry you're going through this OP.

You sound like your life is a little chaotic at the moment, you had a baby very recently with a man you've not known very long and also have other children too which must be really tough at just 23.

Do you have anyone in RL to tal kthings through with? I feel that him messaging other women probably isnt the crux of the problem here and it's more of a distractionfrom the real issues in your relationship.

Do you have anyone you can talk to?

RebeccaWrongDaily I@m not sure at all why you're confused..

It is in fact possible for Latvians to have moved here years ago and still travel back to Latvia regularly

Clearly I am suffering from nominative determinism...

Just wanted some clarification on the history of this is all, no need for the grumpy wee face.

I really don't know why so many people are piling on OP, yeah ok she could be a WUM, but this is hardly the most out there post taken at face value.

The attitude OP has towards the possibility OW had a fling with DP while underage isn't that unusual, I've seen it IRL. Not the nicest attitude for sure, but not one that should hinder her getting advice.

The fact that OP is worried about discussing this with her DP and has sort of just rolled over re DP taking LO makes me quite worried for her.

OP, your DP can want your LO to stay with him, doesn't mean that's what he'll get, especially if you are giving significantly more care than he is.

If you want to leave but you're scared he'll kick off, are there any good friends/family members who will help you pack yours and your children's essentials while he's at work? Not the kindest break up, but if he's rekindling a fling or so intimidating you can't bring it up, he's already done the breaking up really.

Not the nicest attitude for sure, but not one that should hinder her getting advice.

What? When the Op posted she believed her boyfriend, who has also told her he will take her child, had been grooming a child.

But that wasnt her concern. Her concern was that he was messaging the girl now. Not that the father of her child has form for having sex with underage girls when he was 19. Or that he would try and take her child.

Her boundries seem very blurred.

With all due respect love, your life seems like a real mess.

You have several kids by different men, your boyfriend threatens to take your daughter, you got pregnant within mere weeks of dating by my calculations, presumably still during your affair then.

I'm 26 myself, and have a younger sister who is 23, so I don't believe your age has anything to do with it.
You don't sound happy in this relationship, I think for the sake of your young family you need to leave, start afresh and forget about having a relationship until you've learned to respect yourself a bit more.

Gorgosparta, hardly put across very well though was it? OP's been spoken down to like a piece of shit. And when she said she wasn't sure of the woman's age PP immediately jumped on it as a clue she was a troll rather than OP finding it hard to judge her age from her looks and simply not doing the maths to figure out how old she would've been when DP was shagging her.

Bin him
He is not good for you
If you loved chocolate but everytime you ate it it made you sick, you would stop eating it.
He will make you sick. Sick with worry and jealousy. Yout do not need him.

God what a load of nasty, deliberately obtuse posts on this thread. [ hmm] OP said from the start she didn't know how old the girl was, and picked 18 to give a rough idea when someone snarked at her use of the word 'girl'. So then it's much more fun to pile in accusing her P of grooming than to actually engage with her. Then the nit-picking and troll hunting starts. Nobody is forcing you to post of the thread if you don't think it's genuine.

Way to make someone defensive instead of help them.

Tinkerbelle are you your baby's primary carer - ie a stay at home parent or on maternity leave? If so, he couldn't just demand custody. Even if you're working and he's at home with the baby, no court would just award sole custody to him.

Do you love him? Is he a decent person? Does he treat you and your children well? If no to any of those, then I would worry about that rather than the facebook messages, to be honest.

It sounds like you are both very young and that he has got into something he wasn't prepared for (i.e. Fatherhood). He is probably looking back to his younger years of which this girl was apart of and now seems to be living the 'free' life he could have had. Children having children is often problematic (I'm thinking more mindset here not age). I think you need to talk to him OP.

Is this an episode of Jeremy Kyle?

OP why have you had a conversation about who gets the baby of you split and why do you think his wishes trump yours or your child needs?
You have other kids so have been a single parent before.

You need to talk to him about how concerned you are about him renewing his friendship. Don't tell him you snooped, he'll use it against you