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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed my DP is talking to a girl

115 replies

tinkerbelle1 · 15/08/2017 07:43

One he used to fancy, possibly even DTD with. Pretty much the one that got away. He's called her perfect stunning etc. All the words he wouldn't use for me Sad

Ok yes I'm BU aren't I? But this is how our relationship started because I cheated with him on my partner. I feel like karma is coming back around.

OP posts:
Eleventybillionfucks · 15/08/2017 08:24

So you cheated on your ex with your current partner which is how you got together and now you have a baby he is trying to take away from you and he is chatting up another woman he was with before he was with you ConfusedHmm
Reported also.

harrypotternerd · 15/08/2017 08:24

i think you should rethink this relationship to be honest

ollieplimsoles · 15/08/2017 08:24

Do you actually love him?

He sounds abusive, why would he tell you hes taking the baby when he leaves? Why would you let that happen.

You sound really worn down.

Nicknacky · 15/08/2017 08:24

If that was so easy to find out wouldn't you have checked her Facebook before? When you were concerned your partner had sex with a 14 year old?

Original poster
tinkerbelle1 · 15/08/2017 08:26

I said if they had sex it would have been when she was over 16. I didn't know how old she was and only checked because you all were accusing him of grooming a child fs

OP posts:
C0untDucku1a · 15/08/2017 08:28

God i wish people wouldnt get pregnant a few months after meeting people. It rately ends well.
Ok op the more your write the more worring this becomes. He sounds like he is controlling. In what context dismd he tell you if you left him he would take the baby?

Original poster
tinkerbelle1 · 15/08/2017 08:29

No he isn't controlling. He just said he would prefer our daughter to remain with him

OP posts:
Gorgosparta · 15/08/2017 08:29

But at one point you were convinced she was 18.

You spent ages pouring over their messages. Dated back to 2013. You thought she was 18. And it didnt concern you that she would have been 14 at the time of the first messages. When you saw those messagea you thought she was underage when he sent them.

You have only just found our that she was above the age of consent just now.

Nicknacky · 15/08/2017 08:30

Op, you mention "kids", was that a typo or do you have more children?

rjay123 · 15/08/2017 08:30

How much one on one time does he have with his daughter at the moment?

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 15/08/2017 08:30

Ah, so now she's of an age where she would have been over the age of consent in 2013?

I'm still not sure I understand what Latvian experiences are. Is it some kind of holiday? And who proposed to who?

It all sounds rather grim and worrying - especially the idea that for him, the "one that got away" was still a schoolgirl.

corythatwas · 15/08/2017 08:30

and why do you assume that he would get his preferences and you would not?

Gorgosparta · 15/08/2017 08:30

'Would prefer' and 'is taking the baby'

Are 2 very different things.

C0untDucku1a · 15/08/2017 08:30

Well thats not his decision . It is also Not a normal conversation to have when youre in a committed happy relationship.

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/08/2017 08:31

He can't take the baby. What do you mean? Is he controlling? Has he threatened to leave and take the baby?

BigGreenOlives · 15/08/2017 08:32

So she & he are both Latvian & living here. You have a child with him & are worried that he is going to leave you for her & take your child with him. That doesn't sound likely why would she want another woman's baby? If he is too immature to settle down with the mother of his child are you better off splitting up now & sorting out shared parenthood legally? Is he named on your baby's birth certificate?

ptumbi · 15/08/2017 08:33

He can't take the baby.

He won't want to take the baby.

He tells you he would take the baby to scare you into shutting the fuck up and doing what he says., and ignoring all these RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE!

He CAN NOT take the baby - IF he tries, you go to court. (He won't)

Original poster
tinkerbelle1 · 15/08/2017 08:33

I have more kids than he does. We just have the one baby together.
The messages aren't concerning to me no, I was having underage sex. He didn't propose to a 14 year old, she wasn't even 14.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 15/08/2017 08:33

If you are worried about him taking the baby, hide their passport if you have one. Preferably stash it at someone else's house.

Escargot82 · 15/08/2017 08:34

I'm glad I'm not the only one totally confused by this clusterfluff of a post.

Original poster
tinkerbelle1 · 15/08/2017 08:34

He is not latvian, where do you get this from? I didn't say he was going to get with her either. He HAS said he will take the baby because he prefers the baby to live with him

OP posts:
Cherrytart6 · 15/08/2017 08:35

Ade you the main carer? Because you would continue to be the main carer

Cherrytart6 · 15/08/2017 08:35

Leave and take the baby with you?

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/08/2017 08:35

Please sort this out. And go on birth control. You're 23 with children from more than one man. You need stability as do your children. It sounds very scary living with someone, who would take the baby if you split up.

C0untDucku1a · 15/08/2017 08:35

How many children do you have between you?
Does he take care of his other children a lot? Provide them with money / clothes / food / days out?

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