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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Extremely scary moment when driver blocked my car on a country lane.

449 replies

ginplease8383 · 14/08/2017 17:07

I was out driving on the Blackdown hills today with my 1 year old and 3 year old DD trying to find Wellington monument. I know its pretty easy to find being pretty large but I am a bit of an idiot with driving and thought i knew the way (being relatively local) and it turned out I didn't.

Anyway, I went into a country lane and did a U turn to correct myself as I didn't want to U turn on one of the larger roads and as I was coming out onto the more main road another car (a 4X4 with 2 men in it aged mid 50s) also was doing a u turn (or so i thought initially). The driver blocked my exit out of the junction (They could see me drive up to it) as I attempted to turn left and I assumed he was stopping to turn into my lane so I attempted to veer left and drive around him and he blocked me again. I did it again and he did it again.

I didn't want to stop and wind down my window it being the middle of the countryside and that I had 2 young children in the back but he trapped me. In the end i had to and he wound down his window and he said 'I was just going to ask you how to get to xx', I was upset and panicking by then and screamed at him 'How dare you block my path!! Get out of the way!'. My heart was racing and I called dh straight away and gave him a description of the car just in case and set off hime (I didn't go to Wellington monument in the end).

AIBU? I can kind of understand if there was an accident and they needed a first aider but surely i made it perfectly clear i didnt want to stop- I was shitting myself to be honest.

OP posts:
WindyWednesday · 14/08/2017 18:06

I know the area you are talking about. It's very spooky and feels very very remote. Lots of woodland about, dark lanes etc.

I would have been freaked out and I'm fairly level headed. I've always found that area weird.

It is a hard place to find, I'm sure it moves. You used to be able to drive up to the monument and park, but now you can't. You have to walk a long way through woodland to get to it. It is spooky.

In this case OP I think I might make a call to 101 and get the incident logged. Might be nothing, might be something. Knowing the area I'd want to log it.

RaspberryOverload · 14/08/2017 18:06

If there were a couple of blokes in another car blocking my way, I certainly would not have wound down the window to ask what they were doing. I wouldn't take the risk as a lone female in a car.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 14/08/2017 18:07

We have had a few carjackings around here and I have a nice car so my alarm bells would have been ringing.

blankface · 14/08/2017 18:08

Anneelliott- I would have had no escape, I would have to have reversed to get away from them, down a windy country lane

But the road was wide enough for you to do a u-turn.
Why didn't you just ignore them, back off a little from their car then u-turn again and drive off, until you knew where you were?

PinglePongle · 14/08/2017 18:08

You were right to be upset and scared, I would of been the same

Not sure why half of mumsnet take so much smug pride of not being afraid of horrible situations

JigglyTuff · 14/08/2017 18:08

That's a really really weird way of asking directions Hmm

MrsEricBana · 14/08/2017 18:08

I don't think you were being at all unreasonable if they repeatedly blocked you. Poor you. I would have reported them too. Horrible.

notafish · 14/08/2017 18:10

I wanted to say what DamnDeDoubtanceIsSpartacus just said but she said it better.

Hope your okay ginplease, sounds terrifying. I am glad you kept your head and got home safe.

We appear to be in a country where women are blamed for aggressive men. If men block them, if men push them under a bus, somehow it's always the woman's fault.

Shame on every poster who has suggested that op has over reacted. She reacted to aggressive males, that's all.

Original poster
ginplease8383 · 14/08/2017 18:12

WindyWednesday- Yes, you know exactly where I mean and yes its very spooky there, especially at night. I'd hate to live up there in the winter, it feels miles from anywhere and sometimes you don't see a car or house for ages. Lots of woodland and huge fields. I hate driving up there as everyone hurtles along.

OP posts:
Allice · 14/08/2017 18:13

God there are some complete knobs on here!
I would have felt the same as you and probably reacted the same way.

I honestly think it is very unlikely they were looking for directions from you. Not saying that they were looking to do you harm but they were looking to intimidate you.

Slimthistime · 14/08/2017 18:14

I'm not actually convinced they just wanted directions

I think after you shouted at them, they decided you weren't the right person to pick on
If the drivers had been women I'd say the same

Blocking someone three times in a car is completely abnormal behaviour.

I have a friend who was attacked so badly by men "asking for directions" she's got metal in one cheek as part of the reconstruction surgery.

Original poster
ginplease8383 · 14/08/2017 18:15

blankface- I knew someone was going to say that. I did a 20 point turn in a field entrance about half a mile up the road where it was less windy. I couldn't have easily reversed far up it without going in a ditch. I was pretty trapped.

OP posts:
TheVanguardSix · 14/08/2017 18:16

Bloody hell OP I'd have felt exactly the same as you!

I've had two friends murdered and I've been held at knifepoint by a complete stranger. So yeah, I'd be terrified in your situation.

You shouted because you have a strong survival instinct and two kids to protect. Totally normal response to feeling threatened.

Yes, 9 and a half times out of 10, people aren't out to hurt each other but if you're it, you're it. No need to explain your behaviour. Those guys were dicks blocking you like that. There are better, more gracious ways of asking for directions.

Sayhellotothemoomoos · 14/08/2017 18:17

You don't have issues op and yanbu.

So fed up of all this women should remain calm at all times and be nice or else they're hysterical.

You don't ask for directions by blocking other road users in their path.

People, including women should trust their instincts.

WindyWednesday · 14/08/2017 18:19

Is there a local Facebook page that you can post it on? It sounds rather sinister.

It's not somewhere I'd go alone. It used to be nice to visit when you could drive up and park, but now it's not so good. I think they had to stop cars driving up there as it was a dodgy place at night. It is remote and spooky. I used to live in the nearby big town and it was a good dog walk spot.

You used to be able to walk to a nearby farmhouse and get a key and a torch and climb to the top. I did once. Not anymore, it's unsafe I think.

Datun · 14/08/2017 18:19

Why wasn't their window wound down? One of the first things you do when you go to ask someone directions, is wind down the window, to indicate you want to speak to them.

She wound down her window first. Only then did they wind down theirs and start to speak. Having assessed that she was perhaps not such an easy target, after all. Or perhaps they saw the children and thought it wasn't worth it.

And there is no way they would have blocked a man in three times. They'd be far too worried he'd get angry.

Sounds very dodgy, OP. You were right to be scared.

IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 14/08/2017 18:19

I doubt very much if they were simply going to ask for directions.

Of course YANBU OP but it's easier for some people to victim blame than to ask the question "Would it be reasonable to physically stop someone three times in order to ask them directions?"

Trollspoopglitter · 14/08/2017 18:21

I sort of understand why there are so many women on here who end up being manipulated and worse by men, whether emotionally or worse. It's because they appear to feel the appropriate reaction to a man behaving in a threatening and aggressive way toward them is to respond to unprovoked agressiveness with docility and attempt to be a peacemaker.

Fucking hell.

WindyWednesday · 14/08/2017 18:23

It's been raining a lot recently and the sides of the lanes are very muddy and get boggy. You can't easily turn and go. Once you get a wheel stuck in the mud and leaves it's hard to make an escape.

You did really well. Please do call 101 and get it logged.

Toysintheattic29 · 14/08/2017 18:23

I'd have felt completely intimidated and frightened and I'm not somebody that scares that easily. Someone did that to me once (though he was on foot) and tried to get me to open my window. However I managed to reverse and get away from him. One useful thing to remember is to make a noise - i.e. lean on your horn if you ever feel intimidated again as most people hate the thought they might attract attention. I think the bloke that blocked you was an asshole and should be reported to the police - guess you probably didn't get his reg number?

Datun · 14/08/2017 18:23

And if the OP had been attacked one of the first questions would've been why the fuck did you wind down your window, when they had blocked you in three times? Why the fuck didn't you just get out of there?

Batteriesallgone · 14/08/2017 18:25

Yup Datun. She would have been at fault either way.

Squarerouteofsquirrel · 14/08/2017 18:27

You should report to non emergency police. Did you take car reg down ?
Well dodgy blocking a sole female driver in a remote spot in that way, you only have their word they where wanting directions. I've been driving over 20 years and no one has ever asked me for directions in that way.

MabelStable · 14/08/2017 18:28

someone posted something similar on the local Facebook page about a week ago, near Taunton. She said that she was followed by a burgandy 4x4.

Datun · 14/08/2017 18:31

Women get blamed for treating men like Schrodingers rapist, despite our radar being honed by years of experience.

But even when men get repeatedly aggressive, women are still questioned! It's a bloody joke.

It doesn't matter in the slightest if they did just want directions. They were deliberately aggressive and intimidating.

Way to ask for a favour!

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