What can I do that's Naughty?

[TeamCersei]

I need to do something that's naughty by the end of the day.

Preferably,
Be within the law.
Not be harmful to anyone.
Not break or destroy anything.
and not involve sex.

Doesn't leave much else does it?
Any ideas?

If you see a woman clenching her buttocks in the homeware section at Asda........
(well might as well multi task. we're good at that)

You could do what another mums netter does pretend do go a run with a friend but she smokes fags and eats sweets 😂

Walk down the street eating a Gregg's sausage roll.

That might be the MN definition of a henious crime though.

Eat a bag of crisps, then blow it up and burst it.

Get a Hubba Bubba (do they still make them?) and blow large bubbles.

Have an afternoon nap

I turn somebodies i know cup the wrong way round and then i close the cupboard the person twitches 😁

At least it's giving me ideas.

stand on the left on the escalators...

Get a pack of elastic bands and a few marbles. Head in to toys r us. Use the elastic bands to hold the marbles on the 'Try me' buttons. Do as many as u can before you get kicked out.

That's inspired

Put an Out of Order sign on all the gents toilets.

Go into the toilet and put the loo roll on the wrong way 😱

Get some packets of seeds and sprinkle them somewhere you shouldn't. Forget me nots are good.

Trouble is, every where's got security cameras now.

Yes. That's what makes it norty

Get some packets of seeds and sprinkle them somewhere you shouldn't. Forget me nots are good.Dragonflycushion,

That sounds very interesting.
Care to elaborate?

wheres the best place to sprinkle them?

close your eyes and pick a destination on a map and book a holiday there even if you have no money!

or if not that go skinny dipping in your local pool!

Ooh yes. Spill cress seeds somewhere.

allsystem,
another version of that would be to get an argos catalogue,
Let it fall open and buy whatever's on that page.
Or something.

I'm rubbish at this

Go somewhere where they sell cushions or mugs with initial letters on and rearrange them to spell "rude" words like foof, poo poo head, bum, or if you're of the belief that it you're going to do something you should do it Well, then spell out "twatbadgercockwomble" if they have enough cushions/mugs.

Fuck your brother next to your son's coffin?

It took a bit longer than it should have for the penny to drop there and for a few seconds I was like 'what the actual fuck?'

😂

Eat a whole box of Maltesers, all to yourself. That's about as naughty as I can manage.

yayyy do that! that would be really naughty and expensive

Taking inspiration from my kids here...

Drink your drink with a straw, blow bubbles with it, and slurp loudly.

Make a mess and don't tidy it up. Or if you're too much of a neat freak, do the opposite - tidy up everyone else's things and put them in annoying places so they can't find stuff

Stick two fingers up at someone annoying and poke your tongue out at them behind their back.

Stamp your feet and whine if your partner asks you to do something you don't fancy. Or just fold your arms, stick your bottom lip out and huff.

Have your music up too loud. Ignore requests to turn it down. Drive around with loud music on too, and your windows down.

Steal chips etc from your friend's or family's plates.

Burp and fart loudly and don't say pardon.

Hog everything and don't share - the TV remote, chocolate, the duvet, etc. Say 'me first!' and insist on doing everything first - first to sit down and eat dinner, pudding, etc.

Ruin/destroy something you don't like anymore. Rip up an ugly old t-shirt, stomp on it, put it in the bin etc. (Obviously pick something that isn't too wasteful)

Interrupt people and go 'la la la, boringgggg' if they talk about something you are not interested in.

Call everyone childish names - fartybum, stinkface, poohead etc.

Eat a whole box of Maltesers, all to yourself.

I do that most weeks. don't even bother with those willy small bags.