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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

BF always expects...

109 replies

funkymonkey1234 · 13/08/2017 22:46

Whenever I spend the night with my BF he expects something! Even if I'm not really in the mood he insists on "just a handjob" is this normal??

OP posts:
balsamicbarbara · 14/08/2017 06:07

Wanting sexual intimacy more than once a week is a sign of a weak man who can't control himself. Ditch.

Shoxfordian · 14/08/2017 06:35

He sounds awful

It's not acceptable behaviour; really consider leaving him

Genghi · 14/08/2017 06:45

OP have you ever said no? If you don't want to do something then tell him firmly and stick to it.

Cailleach666 · 14/08/2017 06:58

He says his ex used to do it a lot more

He sounds quite a catch.

picklemepopcorn · 14/08/2017 07:05

Telling him he's wrong and lots of women agree with you won't help. He'll still want his own way, if not from you then from someone else.

He is worthless and not someone to stay with. Find someone who understands that sex is a mutual, consenting activity, not a service required of a girlfriend.

TheNaze73 · 14/08/2017 07:29

Wanting sexual intimacy more than once a week is a sign of a weak man who can't control himself

What utter bollocks.

OP, suggest he goes back to his ex. He has no respect for you

SleightOfHand · 14/08/2017 07:30

That's just awful OP, he basically doesn't care that you're being humiliated because that's what it is you know.

CryptoFascist · 14/08/2017 07:36

Wtf Barbara?

Sarikiz · 14/08/2017 07:41

His ex probably got fed with the demand for blow jobs and left him.
He is a dick, dump him.

PearlyPinkNails · 14/08/2017 07:43

Yuk, you're not a wank sock.

Only do what you want to do.

FittonTower · 14/08/2017 07:44

He's happy having sex with someone who is only doing it out of (misplaced) guilt. That's pretty gross isn't It? No one needs that boyfriend....

5rivers7hills · 14/08/2017 07:45

Great post from @BertieBotts on page one.

This is a really bad sign for a relationship. I'd say that it isn't working for you and say he is free to go back to his ex.

LogicalPsycho · 14/08/2017 08:00

Wanting sexual intimacy more than once a week is a sign of a weak man who can't control himself

^Absolute bollocks.

But YANBU Op - he is a disgrace and the sooner you ditch him, the better.

Neutrogena · 14/08/2017 08:03

It's normal, though sounds like it annoys you. You are not compatible. Leave him

BannedFromNarnia · 14/08/2017 08:06

What a pointless fuckwit. Sexist supposed to be two people (or more I suppose if that floats your boat) enjoying themselves. It's but a fucking negotiation or a chore or a solid, every evening expectation that you "must" do.

I mean, jesus, we're trying for a baby and it's not going well but even with that pressure it's not a bloody demand from either of us and no one is being coerced or pressured.

Booboobooboo84 · 14/08/2017 08:09

Dump him, and when he asks why tell him he is inadequate in bed and you need a man that can provide what you want. And when your mutual friends ask say that to them too.

Because in the sack it's what you both want that matters. Sometimes you want a spoon, sometimes a good shag, and in some people's cases you want to have a piss in the shed while your husband watches. The main thing is you both get what you want. If he isn't providing that then he isn't enough for you

Brittbugs80 · 14/08/2017 08:11

I bet my last £1 that everything he insists his ex done, she didn't!

He sounds like a twat. Can I ask why you are with him?

FledglingFTB · 14/08/2017 08:13

Ex for a reason OP

formerbabe · 14/08/2017 08:17

One poster earlier on in the thread said this...

I've got 2 friends who's husbands expect sex every day and they do it, and even after childbirth

And op, you replied with this..

No idea how your friends can do that

Please think, if you stay in this relationship, such things may be expected of you too...

TheWartyOne · 14/08/2017 08:20

He'll ask a few times then usually remind me his ex used to give him head most nights
Ask him why he still isn't with her then, vile little man.

OP you are worth more than this, get rid!

Gabilan · 14/08/2017 08:20

Bin him. I've been with a coercive bully. At best, it will wreck your self esteem

Absolutely agree with PP - he does not care about you or respect you at all. You deserve much, much better.

LoyaltyAndLobster · 14/08/2017 08:27

Wanting sexual intimacy more than once a week is a sign of a weak man who can't control himself. Ditch

Not too sure whether you meant more than once a day? as most couples have sex a few times a week.

DamnDeDoubtanceIsSpartacus · 14/08/2017 08:38

Is he the creepy vicar from Poldark? Are you living in the 18th Century? No? Kick him to the kerb.

LoyaltyAndLobster · 14/08/2017 08:49

OP how do you know for sure that his EX used to do the things he has mentioned everyday?

Cailleach666 · 14/08/2017 08:56

OP how do you know for sure that his EX used to do the things he has mentioned everyday?

Is that even important?

Whether or not she did is of lesser importance than he even voiced that issue.

It's beyond gross.