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AIBU?

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Original poster

BF always expects...

109 replies

funkymonkey1234 · 13/08/2017 22:46

Whenever I spend the night with my BF he expects something! Even if I'm not really in the mood he insists on "just a handjob" is this normal??

OP posts:
LittleLights · 13/08/2017 23:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Willow2017 · 13/08/2017 23:55

Get rid. If he can't last a night without sex tell him he has two hands that are not doing anything else!

Seriously just tell him no means no. Ex is probably ex cos she got fed up being used as a sex toy.

Tell him to not bother coming back you are not there to be his personal sex slave. Find someone who wants you for you not for your body parts cos that's all you are to him.

RidingWindhorses · 13/08/2017 23:55

I'm guessing it's a lie. If not maybe that's why she left.

DerelictWreck · 13/08/2017 23:55

He'll ask a few times then usually remind me his ex used to give him head most nights

And how often does he give you head? Presumably if he expects it every night, he gives it - right?....

LittleLights · 13/08/2017 23:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PickAChew · 13/08/2017 23:59

He says his ex used to do it a lot more

And there they are, still together as a happy couple.

Oh, wait....

redsquirrel2 · 14/08/2017 00:05

He's pathetic. Dump him.

Motoko · 14/08/2017 00:05

He doesn't like you for who you are. He just wants you for sex on tap.

Seriously, dump him, he's not a nice man. He'll be raping you next.

ReanimatedSGB · 14/08/2017 00:06

Just dump and block all contact. He's not worth wasting any more time on.
You can be polite and text 'Hi, this is not working out so I don't want to see you again' and then block.
Or you can text 'Actually, I'm going to find a man who's interested in something other than his own dick, don't contact me again.'

And take a little time to build up your self respect before dating a man again.

eatabagofdicks · 14/08/2017 00:08

I wouldn't bother to bring it up with him or send him screen shots. Just ghost him and block his number. He's not worth the carpal tunnel in your wrist.

gillybeanz · 14/08/2017 00:17

I'd just go cold on him, not even tell him why and block him.
After 3 months it's not relly a relationship, more like dating.

I agree with a pp spend some time single and build your self esteem as most women would have told him to fuck right off when he started pressurising them.

Ellie56 · 14/08/2017 00:24

No no no no this behaviour is not normal.You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. He should accept no means no and not keep pestering.

Now you know why Ex is the ex. She saw him for the selfish twat he is and ran for the hills.

Don't send him screen shots - just dump him. You can do so much better than this knobhead.

Yuk.

DixieFlatline · 14/08/2017 00:31

So when you don't want to engage in sex with a mutually pleasurable outcome, he thinks you'll be in the mood to engage in sex with no pleasurable outcome for you? There's literally nothing in it for you.

Nail on head.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 14/08/2017 00:35

Ugh

There are very few things as unattractive as a sex pest. Get RID.

Ceto · 14/08/2017 00:44

I really don't think I could bear to touch someone who thinks it appropriate to bully women into sex this way.

user10794etc · 14/08/2017 01:01

Not normal at all. You can do so much better.

AdoraBell · 14/08/2017 01:04

Agree with others, if his ex is so obliging then he should fuck off back to her.

I would have to ask why he left the ex if she was so perfect. (I'll bet she dumped him) and when he says she left him I'd say " me too, fuck off"

Oswin · 14/08/2017 01:10

He is bullying you into performing a sex act. It's awful op, please dump the nasty fucker.

Aquamarine1029 · 14/08/2017 01:11

This guy is a piece of shit. Dump his ass and run like hell. Things are only going to get worse.

Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 14/08/2017 01:17

Ugh he sounds like a disgusting manipulative out next time he asks or whines like a child because he's not getting what he wants just tell him god gave him hands for a reason and if his ex was that amazing then he needs to go back to her the sleazy bastard. Run like the wind you can do so much better.

Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 14/08/2017 01:19

I meant pig not out stupid phone.

twattymctwatterson · 14/08/2017 01:25

Why are you with this guy? Three months in and he's already behaving in a sexually coercive manner. I was with someone like this OP. Eventually I discovered he was raping me in my sleep. He doesn't care about you as a person, you're just a collection of holes to him

fountpleasant · 14/08/2017 01:42

Number one sign of a man who will turn out to be abusive is a sense of entitlement and a knack for controlling/manipulating you. Comparing you to his ex to guilt/shame you into performing is a huge red flag. This seems to be whopping sense of entitlement.

Being a new member I'm not sure if I'm allowed to recommend books, but if so, read "Why Does He Do That?" about angry and controlling men by Lundy Bancroft. Should be required reading for every woman on the planet. The author ran a court mandated program for domestic abuse perpetrators, so he really got inside their heads. Helps you spot the subtle early warning signs.

If you give it a read and notice some other signs of entitlement/controlling behavior then get out before you become the proverbial frog in the pot of boiling water and become too programmed that you have trouble leaving. It is really hard to do though because we tend to desperately want to give others the benefit of the doubt.