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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not believe what I just heard.... parent/ child space one sorry!!!!

316 replies

Freddiesfling · 12/08/2017 23:05

Was at my local Aldi lady earlier this week about to drive off when I heard raised voices.... I looked around to see a mother with a child of around 5/6 shouting at an elderly lady who had parked in a parent/ child space ( there were 3/4 other empty p&c spaces free)... the elderly lady calmly told her that she was awaiting a blue badge and all the disabled spaces were full... the mother than shouted " well that's not my fault" and stormed off... the elderly lady then with some difficulty started walking away....
I got out of my car and asked if she was ok.. she said she was but looked upset.. I asked if there was anything I could do/ help with and she said she was ok! I wished her well and went back to my car really shocked that a mother with a school aged child who had already parked on the parent/child spaces would go out of her way to be so vile...

I later heard from a friend that this mother posted what happened on Facebook ... including her shouting at an elderly lady and was practically applauded for it with a lot of likes and even a few comments like she should have scratched the ladies car... my friend reported the status but Facebook said it didn't violate their standards.

I cannot believe that another person could go out of their way to be so argumentative and lack such empathy.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 12/08/2017 23:38

But I agree, morally it would be lovely if there were wider spaces for anyone with a need for them.

FrancisCrawford · 12/08/2017 23:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Scrowy · 12/08/2017 23:40

But I agree, morally it would be lovely if there were wider spaces for anyone with a need for them.

So do I. But lets face it they would be entirely taken up with parking wankers who think their car is more precious than everyone elses.

I suppose it would keep them out of the blue badge spots though.

W3lsh · 12/08/2017 23:41

Unfortunately there are some horrible people out there. Some of them have children.

FrancisCrawford · 12/08/2017 23:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PurpleDaisies · 12/08/2017 23:42

But lets face it they would be entirely taken up with parking wankers who think their car is more precious than everyone elses

Oh I totally agree. I think the only way it would work was if all spaces were a bit wider but that isn't happening any time soon either.

charlie2405 · 12/08/2017 23:45

I had the opposite the other day. I had an ( not so elderly) couple harassing me to move my car from a parent and child space as I was loading up my kids and shopping. No blue badge just poor mobility. I had my 10 yr old 3 yr old and 11 week old to get in the car along with my disabled mum. They had the cheek to tell me they needed it more than me and that I needed to hurry up as they were waiting!

Needless to say they got a mouthful and I deliberately took as long as possible. Cheeky entitled fucker wasn't even supposed to be in that space and I'm sorry but I don't feel this old lady had any right to either. The ones round my area aren't any closer to the shop they are just wider for prams and to get the kids into the car seats safely. In my area they are usually used however for old people who cannot drive safely or park their mobility cars which isn't the intended use. If they can't be bothered applying for a blue badge or have been refused they should park in a regular space. I certainly wouldn't be aloud to park in a disabled bay because I felt I needed a larger or closed space so why should they?

potatoscowls · 12/08/2017 23:53

Crap behaviour on that woman's part, but i dont think being elderly makes you blameless. Why is it less ok to shout at elderly people than anyone else? That said idk the rules about p&c spaces in detail...

TmiTuesdays · 12/08/2017 23:54

Had an (ex) friend who came out one day with 'I really HATE it when disabled people park in parent and child spaces'. I honestly thought I'd misheard at first but no. Bear in mind, her kids were all able bodied, NT and over six. Could not understand why she would begrudge a disabled person a space she really didn't need any more. Went right off her after that.

VestalVirgin · 13/08/2017 00:03

Some people really seem to lack the ability to think. What do they think those spaces are there for? To reward parents for being so much better than anyone else, or what?

Perhaps teaching people to be decent would be a better way of fixing things than putting signs on parking spaces.

Haven't heard about any young women yelling at other people for offering seats to elderly ladies on buses.

If it simply was a social norm to leave the parking spaces close to the store to those in need, perhaps the outcome would be better ... though probably not, there's always entitled fuckers, and it is not the same as seats on a bus; you can't just occupy a parking space and then give it to someone in need.

aayla · 13/08/2017 00:16

'I certainly wouldn't be aloud to park in a disabled bay because I felt I needed a larger or closed space so why should they?'

A p&c space should not be compared with a disabled space. Disabled car parking spaces fall under the equality act - p&c spaces do not.

gruffalo13 · 13/08/2017 02:03

Yes when I couldn't walk with terribly swollen ankles from inflammatory arthritis I parked in P & C.

HiJenny35 · 13/08/2017 02:16

Parent and child spaces ARE enforceable.
It's a private car park and they can enforce what they like.
I got a ticket for parking in a baby and parent space when I was collecting my baby from my mum in the shop. The carpark is ran by private car park enforcement and people parking in disabled spaces or over more than one gap are also ticketed.

HiJenny35 · 13/08/2017 02:18

The point about moving them to the back of the car park away from the store is ridiculous, the whole point of them is so that it is close and therefore safe so you don't have to get a toddler and various other children through a car park with various cars reversing and so that you are close to drop off the trolley return so you don't have to leave children out of sight.

RhodaBorrocks · 13/08/2017 03:46

A p&c space should not be compared with a disabled space. Disabled car parking spaces fall under the equality act - p&c spaces do not.

And yet in a retail park near where iWork they thought it sensible to combine the disabled and P&C spaces. All the spaces have both markings on and signage implies neither group has priority.

I've found myself shopping there less as the spaces are mostly filled by parents now, as there were never enough P&C spaces.

There is a dedicated area of disabled parking attached to the neighbouring supermarket - on the other side of the car park and down 2 flights of stairs!!!

lalalalyra · 13/08/2017 04:00

Some councils take ages to do blue badges. My relative (North Lan) waited 16 weeks for hers - and she was terminally ill and qualified automatically because of her pip rate (and that was fast tracked due to her being terminal).

tequilaitmakesmehapppy · 13/08/2017 05:45

I don't agree with the general consensus on mumsnet about PandC spaces.

They are intended for parents of young children, they help avoid damage to other cars, help parents remove kids from seats and allow doors to be opened fully so kids can be strapped in properly without leaning through a tiny gap.

I wouldn't question anyone without kids for using one, it's not my place. They might be unwell, have an injury, whatever.

Yes they are there for parents convenience, and are not a legal right. However, the way some twats park, or the ridiculous size of some spaces, can make it difficult to lift a car seat or a wriggly baby/toddler out of a gap so small if you can't open the door fully. Having a bit of extra room stops me straining myself reaching in and also keeps kids safer having a place to stand beside the car rather than at the back if you are unloading the pram or other bits from the car. In carparks with no or all taken PandC spaces I park far back with spaces free either side of the car, but often people park right beside me anyway even when there is lots of space in the entire car parkHmm

The world is full of knob heads, bad parkers and selfish arses who only think of themselves though! The woman behaved in a horrible way and should be ashamed.

Spikeyball · 13/08/2017 06:28

If someone has a disability that requires extra space or closeness to store, using a p and c space is a reasonable adjustment regardless of them having or not having a blue badge.
P and c space 'police' will eventually come across someone who gives them a response they really don't like.

Welshrainbow · 13/08/2017 06:40

The woman was wrong for shouting. At 5/6 years old I would expect a child without any other needs to be able to get themselves in and out of the car and not run in front of traffic and therefore would consider the old woman was of greater need in spite of what the spaces were designed for and even if there weren't empty spaces I'd have no issue with her using a of space.
That said I get really irritated in general when people without kids park in those spaces. I only drive a focus so not a huge car but if I can't park in a p&c space I have to park right at the back to have enough room to get DS out of his rear facing seat. When he was younger this wasn't a problem but now he's just turned two and a runner and parking that far away means negotiating 200m ish oh traffic with a toddler who runs off at the speed of light and even manages to get out of his wrist strap when it's right in him. I think they need to bring down the age of a child whose parents are allowed to use P and c spaces in my local supermarket it's 12 which is far too old in my opinion. There are some children who need them beyond this, those with limited understanding or impulse control issues etc but there could be a scheme for parents of these children to get a badge to allow them to park there.

mailfuckoff · 13/08/2017 06:42

I use a p and c space of I have my 8 year old with me. I get very judgy looks.

He has a temporary disability so no pip, Blue badge or wheel chair for me. But he casnot walk very far and he is unsteady in his feet. So I use the closest spaces to make him comfortable. I am ready for when I am challenged on this.

Lenl · 13/08/2017 07:03

What do they think those spaces are there for? To reward parents for being so much better than anyone else, or what?

I think this attitude is why I so constantly see people in p&c spaces without children. An elderly person I would generally give the benefit of the doubt but usually it's young, single people that I see. All I can imagine is they think as above - that parents are entitled and precious. I can't get my 7 week old out of the car in most normal sized spaces. I don't have an especially big car but even so I can't. I have a 2 year old as well and it's a challenge to get him out too. When the p&c spaces are full it's not just a case of parking further away I generally need to find an end space so that I can be sure of enough room. So when some twatty woman comes sauntering out with her lunch it fucks me off. People also take up the p&c spaces in the multistorey in town and then it really is quite dangerous trying to get a buggy out at the rest is so tight

My local Tesco has p&c spaces further from the shop but they face onto a wide safe walkway and surprise surprise there's always some available.

I recently saw an old couple park in a p&c space and put their blue badge out when there were 6 disable bays behind them that were closer to the store with dropped kerbs etc. I didn't say anything but I wish I was the type who would.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 13/08/2017 07:09

It's not the same as parking on double yellow lines at all. Hmm

Applauding yelling at an old lady. How positively vile. Bet she wouldn't have done the same to a six foot bloke built like a brick shithouse.

The sooner these spaces are done in with the better.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 13/08/2017 07:12

Parent and child spaces ARE enforceable.

No they aren't.

BB spaces are enforceable because they're covered in law. I'm yet to see a P&C space law. They're a courtesy, nothing else.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 13/08/2017 07:14

Why is it less ok to shout at elderly people than anyone else?

Well it's genuinely not okay to shout at anyone as a responsible adult. But yelling at ab old lady just because you can and it makes you feel big is just a bit shitty.

It's perfectly possibly to disagree or have an exchange with people, if needed, without raising your voice.

Spikeyball · 13/08/2017 07:17

Some people don't realise how hard it is to get a blue badge. My son qualifies for one now but as an adult, won't automatically qualify despite still being entitled to a motobility car.
Those who think managing a toddler is difficult, imagine what it is like with a person who has the same understanding but is 6 ft tall and has behavioural difficulties.