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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Help!! DD forced to share a room with SB

111 replies

ohh · 12/08/2017 21:23

I need help before i drive round to my e and lump him one. Not an easy task as he is an hour away but no the less.Angry

At the best of times DD does not want to go and is having counselling provided by school how to deal with controlling father.

DD says she goes now because she wants to see young SB. He is 2 1/2.

Anyway..due to go to Minehead Butlins for a week with ex and his family and she has told me that she will be sharing a room with him!

DD is 14 years old. At best of times she has to look after him as a free nanny when at her dads. Her SD; my husband; wants her not to go and is very cross at the news. He has an excellent relationship with DD as has looked after her since day 1.

I know there is no law in the UK about sharing rooms but surely you cant ask a 14 year old girl to share with a nearly 3 year old boy? HmmThat will keep her awake and wake her early too.

Thanks

OP posts:
LoyaltyAndLobster · 12/08/2017 21:38

I don't see a problem with it. And I don't understand why you think she is being forced.

SaucyJack · 12/08/2017 21:38

My advice to you would be to focus on whatever the actual problems are with your DD's relationship with her father, and look for solutions to what these genuine problems are.

Cos, to be frank, your OP just sounds stupid. Threatening to hot someone over a kid sharing a room with their baby sibling one holiday?! Hellooo Jeremy Kyle.

Sistersofmercy101 · 12/08/2017 21:39

Hi OP I read your post as what's actually bothering you is that your daughter 1)doesn't want to go because of controlling biological father and
2) she's miserable being used as an unpaid underage nanny for a two and a half years old? Who reading between the lines does normal but irritating toddler stuff that your daughter gets blamed for?
If that's the case then for what my twopence is worth YANBU.

Tiptoethr0ughthetulips · 12/08/2017 21:39

I can't see the problem, if there are two beds in the room then two children need to share.

PollyFlint · 12/08/2017 21:40

It's absolutely fine for a teenager to share a room with a toddler for a week. I'm not sure what the problem is. This is a really normal holiday arrangement.

Genghi · 12/08/2017 21:41

Sharing with her sb isn't unreasonable. End of.

NoHunsHereHun · 12/08/2017 21:42

For a holiday I think that while this is not ideal, it's acceptable. Unless they are doing this so the parents can go out and leave her looking after the toddler all evening?
My DS is 12 and while he doesn't share a room with his younger half sibs at my ExH house, he is woken by them from 5am whenever he stays there (frequently) because he then comes home exhausted. Pisses me off no end even though I know it's not really their fault.

pictish · 12/08/2017 21:43

There is nothing awry about that sleeping arrangement. Your irritation and her reluctance may well be owing to factors building...but in itself this issue about the room is nonsense. Sorry. x

Crispbutty · 12/08/2017 21:43

I don't see the problem. What if they were camping and all sharing a tent? It's a holiday. People end up sharing.

NK493efc93X1277dd3d6d4 · 12/08/2017 21:45

I don't know anyone who wouldn't put their kids in together on holiday. It's just for sleeping - they'll be out most of the time. Topping and tailing is even normal for a short period.
Sounds like you have other issues which you are diverting onto this?

HeddaGarbled · 12/08/2017 21:45

If they were both yours, I doubt you'd pay for 3 rooms on a holiday, would you? You'd expect them to share, wouldn't you?

I think you and your daughter are worried about her getting lumbered with the night-time and morning childcare while everyone else sleeps in. Is that right?

Talk to your daughter about strategies to deal with that. Her step brother is walking so can be sent in to mum and dad's room if he is wakeful.

ElizabethShaw · 12/08/2017 21:46

Sounds normal for families on holiday.

BuzzKillington · 12/08/2017 21:46

What is the problem?

Is she feeling anxious because you're being negative about it?

Mxyzptlk · 12/08/2017 21:47

If your DD doesn't want to go on the holiday, she shouldn't have to.
It doesn't matter what the reason is.

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 12/08/2017 21:47

I think you have more worries than the room sharing.

You keep saying he is controlling and your dd doesn't want to go. Things don't seem right.

I'd make a descision for her and say she isn't going.

HipsterHunter · 12/08/2017 21:48

My bro had to share with me on holiday and we have a 12 year age gap!

littlehandcuffs · 12/08/2017 21:48

If she is being made to babysit / look after child overnight then do not make her go. She is obviously not happy with this arrangement and should not be forced into it.

timeisnotaline · 12/08/2017 21:48

My 14 and 9 year old nephews might share with my 2.5 year old at Christmas. That's how holiday accommodation works , sorry.

Slimthistime · 12/08/2017 21:50

I don't get why she's going at all or seeing her dad, she's old enough to refuse.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 12/08/2017 21:50

My two shared on holiday earlier this year DD is 19 and DS is 14. They get changed in the bathroom but share a bedroom. It isn't always affordable to have THREE bedrooms, especially as DD often doesn't even know if she will be joining us when we book.

I don't see the problem.

Mumof56 · 12/08/2017 21:52

I'd say your and ypur partners irrational anger over the holiday is making her consider not going. Way over dramatic.

Dailystuck71 · 12/08/2017 21:54

No problem with sharing.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 12/08/2017 21:54

Will she be expected to look after him if she is sharing a room? The room sharing on its own isn't an issue but if it's a way of making her care for a toddler on her holiday then it becomes an issue for me.

Floralnomad · 12/08/2017 21:54

For a holiday I think it's perfectly reasonable , if they stayed overnight at a premier inn surely they would all be in the same room , what's the difference , this is normal behaviour for families.

Original poster
ohh · 12/08/2017 21:54

ok. Yes i think its more her not wanting to be with him. We are lucky I suppose because all our family (blended) is 2 boys and 1 girl. So she gets her own room or with us me and DH.

OP posts: