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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think the neigbours shouldn't sit on their drive every evening?

109 replies

Bravas · 12/08/2017 11:46

Yes it's theirs they can do what they like etc. But it's really annoying me.

We have perfectly nice back gardens which aren't overlooked but they choose to sit on the driveway of a busyish minor road with their friends.

They sit and drink/talk/sing/laugh loudly until the early hours. It's the noise that's pissing me off, i have started wearing ear plugs, shutting the windows but they still woke me at 2am this morning.

Unfortunately I can't afford to move to an isolated location and normal noise doesn't bother me. AIBU to think this is a bit anti social?

Any suggestions what to do? I'm reluctant to say anything in case it makes it worse.

OP posts:
Trumpisafart · 13/08/2017 19:31

Wow what snobs with such sweeping generalisations totally unsupported by evidence. Noise late at night is unacceptable but on your own property you can sit where the hell you want

BabychamSocialist · 13/08/2017 19:32

*Urgh I hate it when people do this. It's really tacky and nasty. Swigging cans of woodpecker cider and smoking rollups, whilst still wearing their nightie, and sitting on shitty little white plastic chairs that they got from the skips!

Yep, seen it before.

YANBU!

I would report them the the council for noise nuisance.*

Hmm, I don't think it's your neighbours that have the issue here. I feel sorry for them living next to such a rude snob!

Original poster
Bravas · 13/08/2017 19:34

Right I'm going to be brave, I've set myself a target of saying something by Friday! My other neighbour actually text me about it earlier too, as they're also getting fed up with the late night noise. I wouldn't mind if it stopped by 11pm.

I will however try not to let the sitting on the driveway bit bother me, I appreciate it is a case of each to their own and none of my business.

Thanks for all of your opinions/advice.

OP posts:
CauliflowerSqueeze · 13/08/2017 19:35

I don't think it's "odd" I think it's a dominance thing - they feel they are in charge of the road and can see the comings and goings and comment on them.
I don't like it at all.

And they know full well that as they're on their own property you can't ask them not to do it.

Viviennemary · 13/08/2017 19:37

They sound awful. Why do people do this.

Lovingit81 · 13/08/2017 19:40

One word.....chavs

Offred2 · 13/08/2017 19:52

My first instinct when hearing about people sitting in their front garden is that it's just a bit cringy and common (awful word but I can't think of a better one).

When I try to analyse why I think this it's something to do with the divide between public space and private space. Your house and back garden are definitely private space and roads, pavements etc are public space. But front gardens are a weird in between area and are neither one or the other?! Or something...

Chestervase1 · 13/08/2017 19:53

Bravas please don't speak to them. If you are concerned please speak to police or local authority. The situation could turn hostile.

JustMe77 · 13/08/2017 20:01

Sitting on their driveway could be an eyesore but easily ignored...the noise however would piss me off. I nearly called the police a couple of nights ago as one of my neighbours came back from what I assumed was his stag do. There was about 20 of them in the street cheering and shouting and playing bhangra very loud from a car and revving the engines on their 'super cars'. This then had fire works in their garden thrown in...at the same time. My 2.5 year old woke up and asked me 'whats that sound?'....it was 1 in the morning and went on for about 20mins. Angry....i hate noise nuisance it's anti social and inconsiderate.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 13/08/2017 20:05

I have no rational explanation as to why, but I also see this as "common" behaviour 😳.

Lots of our neighbours sit on the communal front lawns (around a square) in their pyjamas & dressing gowns. Some are there now. We all have private back gardens too - but only us & one other family actually use them!

I do like my neighbours & generally couldn't give a damn how "common" people are or aren't. We live here too - I'm far from posh myself!

I can only assume that my mother's distaste for all things "common" has affected me more than I thought! 😳

Chathamhouserules · 13/08/2017 20:06

I want to live where you live maudesmum. Sounds Fab!
Get in touch with council op. Ive learned from bitter experience that it's not a good idea to raise issues with neighbours.

TheLittleFriend · 13/08/2017 20:21

I know people who sit at the front as they wouldn't be able too hear their children if they were at the back. Maybe the same situation if the bedrooms are at the front?
Still annoying though. Being kept awake is really unpleasant.

SheSaidHeSaid · 13/08/2017 20:24

I've sat out the front of my house twice before as we don't get sun past a certain time in the back gardens and I'm in a small private road. I was quite sheltered though so neighbours might not immediately realise I'm there but I still felt so self conscious doing it.

Fluffypinkpyjamas · 13/08/2017 20:26

cauliflower I agree, dominance indeed for the exact reason you say.Common too.

EyeRollChampion · 13/08/2017 20:51

We have an attic room with windows invisible from the street. Ive been considering purchasing a low velocity bb gun for shits and giggles. If they're gonna keep me up all night I might as well get some fun out of it.

madamarcati2 · 13/08/2017 20:55

Do their friends live in the same street.maybe they sit their so they can keep an eye on their house/

TroelsLovesSquinkies · 13/08/2017 21:20

Are you living next to my SIL her and her family do this, they have folding chairs and roll up the garage door, roll out the bbq and friends come over till all hours drinking beer, they even bought one of those portable gas heater things you see on restaurant patios.
Weirdly they have a gorgeous landscaped back garden, with patios and furniture outside. All mostly used by the dogs.

Girty999 · 13/08/2017 21:32

It's a pet hate of mine, sitting on the front do they sit on dining room wooden chairs too? Each to their own but I can't stand it x

Bluntness100 · 13/08/2017 21:32

I think for me the driveway is the least pleasant area to sit on so that's the issue. Back garden, nice and private, front garden, OK, maybe sunny or whatever, but drive way, where you park your car? Sorry. Very weird in my opinion.

I can't Imagine sitting on the driveway. My friends or neighbours would think I'd gone nuts. What do they sit in front of their cars or garage ? Why not sit in the nicer areas?

And same back for me, if I came home and my neighbour was sitting on her drive either reading or socialising I'd wonder why she wasn't in her garden, which is much more pleasant.

Bluelonerose · 13/08/2017 22:11

My next door neighbours used to sit in front garden all day every day even took paddling pool out there and let kids play naked! No idea why because back gardens have shade and sun all day.
I didn't like being watched coming and going. Thankfully they moved but my new neighbours just sit out back smoking weed all day. Believe it or not this IS an improvement Hmm

Tapandgo · 13/08/2017 22:27

I agree the sitting at the font/back thing to do with public/private space.
Similarly most of us in the U.K. wouldn't dream of hanging washing out the back, but not out the front.
Relatively recent (historically) that people had both front and back gardens - and where front gardens didn't exist (urban terraces), sitting 'out the front' was the only option as back yards were divided up with high walls.
Making noise that others have to endure - no excuse.

cheval · 13/08/2017 23:18

If your council is anything like mine, re noise levels, they won't give a stuff. Ilikeswise police. I would try and talk to them, get to know them, get them onside. Authorities are pretty useless with these things, at least they are round here.

manicmij · 13/08/2017 23:43

I had noisy neighbours once, well noisy in that they let teenagers "play" in back garden until all hours. Sitting room at back and as I had to have tv on loud to hear it I just opened Windows and door turned tv up as loud as possible, or played some really irritating to teenagers music and lo and behold next door couldn't here themselves and have up. No problem after that. Can you do something similar at your front. If anyone complains just explain you have to make such a noise to cover up next door' s partying. Or contact environmental health at Council to see what can be done. Also explain you are not good at these situations.

Booboo66 · 14/08/2017 07:46

I sit out the front because that's where the sun is, also the back garden is over looked by the the living room of my nosey and fairly miserable neighbour. I'm also a bit claustrophobic and back garden is fully enclosed by very high fences and hedge. I didn't realise anyone thought it was weird, maybe I'll just sit inside from now on Blush

BarbaraofSevillle · 14/08/2017 08:40

Similarly most of us in the U.K. wouldn't dream of hanging washing out the back, but not out the front

Hanging washing out front, along with a few other activities, mostly related to the keeping of livestock, is specifically prohibited in the deeds of our house.

Probably because it's a post war ex council house and a lot of early tenants were probably those moved from back to backs that were demolished as part of slum clearance programmes and would need a major shift in behaviour as they weren't used to having a back garden and had previously hung their washing out across the streets.

We also used to live in a back to back and indeed hung our washing out in the front garden, as did everyone else as it was the only outside place to hang washing.