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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think the neigbours shouldn't sit on their drive every evening?

109 replies

Bravas · 12/08/2017 11:46

Yes it's theirs they can do what they like etc. But it's really annoying me.

We have perfectly nice back gardens which aren't overlooked but they choose to sit on the driveway of a busyish minor road with their friends.

They sit and drink/talk/sing/laugh loudly until the early hours. It's the noise that's pissing me off, i have started wearing ear plugs, shutting the windows but they still woke me at 2am this morning.

Unfortunately I can't afford to move to an isolated location and normal noise doesn't bother me. AIBU to think this is a bit anti social?

Any suggestions what to do? I'm reluctant to say anything in case it makes it worse.

OP posts:
hiphopcat · 12/08/2017 13:40

@fruitbats

Who mentioned cider or nighties?

I did.

fruitbats · 12/08/2017 13:43

Your post hiphop, bears no resemblance to what the OP posted.

SoupDragon · 12/08/2017 13:43

I will start keeping a log of the noise though with a view to reporting them

Seriously? Without mentioning it to them? Confused

Iris65 · 12/08/2017 13:45

It seems to be a cultural thing. In Europe lost of people have benches and seating in front of their homes, even on busy streets, and enjoy watching the world go by.

Original poster
Bravas · 12/08/2017 13:47

They are quite intimidating..from the arguments I've heard anyway, I don't think me saying something would go down well and worry it would make the problem worse.

OP posts:
KermitsLoveChild · 12/08/2017 13:50

Nighties! Yes, mine do that! All of them out there in their nightwear at all hours of the day.

Not to mention selling cigarettes to kids, encouraging vandalism, screaming arguments, the list goes on.

chipmonkey · 12/08/2017 13:50

My neighbours do this because their back garden is North-facing and it only bothers me because I feel like they are watching me as I leave and enter my own house even though I'm sure they're not actually watching me! Grin

But I can't see why you would sit out front in the dark.

AnneGrommit · 12/08/2017 13:51

It's a cultural thing. In the UK the only people who sit out the front are a) working class; or b) foreigners or c) both. You are probably scared of one of these scenarios.

RedBlu · 12/08/2017 14:00

Hate hate hate when people sit outside the front when they have perfectly fine back gardens. It always looks so "Benefits Street".

There is a road near us with a few houses that does this, they all bring out chairs and sit out the front whilst their kids run around leaving toys littered across the road and path.

Makes me cringe every time I see it!

GreenTulips · 12/08/2017 14:09

Ok - what about annoying lights that go on and off in strange ways?

What about fish smelling oil burners?

Something else?

EggysMom · 12/08/2017 14:21

Our neighbours do this - its because they have let their dogs shit all over the back garden and don't clean it up, so there's nowhere safe to sit. But we do seem to live on benefit street ...

mydogmymate · 12/08/2017 16:20

I've got this too, a row of terraced houses where the first 3 houses are the ones who sit on their drives - they even have BBQ's! When I get up in the morning and open my curtains ( about 7am) they're all outside smoking. If I'm at work and come home at about 5pm they're still sat on their drive in their pjs. Then their friends turn up with their kids and family ...... It's almost like they're making their territory 😡. Yes, I judge.

vikingprincess81 · 12/08/2017 16:26

I don't sit in my driveway but I do sit in my front garden. It's where the sun is after 5pm. I don't drag a sofa out though, just sit on the grass on a blanket or on my front step, and it's just me, sitting quietly, a book and the occasional glass of wine. I don't think it's that's weird.
The noise would annoy me though.

Papafran · 12/08/2017 16:26

I would hate it. A load of people staring at you as you go in and out of your house. Especially if they have been drinking as well.

BarbaraofSevillle · 12/08/2017 17:44

It's a cultural thing. In the UK the only people who sit out the front are a) working class

That may be one of the few things that outs me as working class. Despite my degree, professional qualifications, love of reading and Radio 4, lentil weaving, cooking from scratch, make do and mend mentality, disinterest in showy possessions, beauty treatments etc, hatred of Magaluf, Benidorm, etc, I see nothing at all wrong in sitting in the front garden.

I sit in the front garden because that's where the sun is. I am always quiet when I do it, because I am usually reading, and if I am drinking it will be something naice like a G&T or glass of cava.

OP, your neighbours are not BU to sit in their front gardens, but they are BU to do it noisily.

Bluntness100 · 12/08/2017 17:50

I also find this very strange. Is it just a bog standard drive way? Sitting in your front garden is one thing, but sitting on the drive something totally different. It can't even be that pleasant.

KermitsLoveChild · 12/08/2017 17:55

In my case it wouldn't be anywhere near as bad if it was one person sitting out with a book and drink, here it's a minimum of 3 or 4 of them all being idiots and actively watching the neighbours.

As a prime example an ambulance arrived further up the street and the matriarch of the clan across the road got one of the family to wheel her up there and put her wheelchair at the back of the ambulance so she could see who was put in it Shock.

tigerdriverII · 12/08/2017 18:02

God what a bunch of snobs!

It's their drive, they can sit out if they want.

Noise is a different thing but judging over sitting out front? Bonkers.

ToothTrauma · 12/08/2017 18:21

I have to say I think sitting out the front is bizarre. But then I am a misanthropic introvert!

AwaywiththePixies27 · 12/08/2017 18:28

YABU for thinking they shouldn't sit where they like in their own home.

YNBU for not wanting them to be disturbing you at 2am.

OP. Take it from a long suffering neighbour of such people. They're just as loud when they're in the back garden.

GreenTulips · 12/08/2017 18:38

It's not snobby to not want any gangs of people hanging round your house

WorkingBling · 12/08/2017 19:01

OP, I feel your pain. Our neighbours are the same. I don't understand why they want to sit in their front drive (it's paved, with cars. So why they hang out there is beyond me) and it irrationally annoys me. DH and I often discuss that the same level of noise in the back garden just wouldn't bother us as much. To be fair, possibly part of it is that between our gardens there are proper fences etc. bUt in the front there' a few bushes and it's all very open and public.

Sadly, they can hang out wherever they like. But I really really do understand. Those neighbours, who are otherwise lovely, are one of just two things that might make us move one day. Otherwise we'd probably stay where we are until we retire!

Original poster
Bravas · 12/08/2017 19:51

Workingbling wondering if you live on the other side ha, as you've described it perfectly.

They've started early tonight, hopeful that might mean it stops before midnight tonight.

OP posts:
TeaCake5 · 12/08/2017 19:58

Sitting out front on a drive is common behaviour

User02 · 12/08/2017 20:50

I sat out on the side path which is attached to the driveway. I had been cutting hedge and front grass. It was so hot I sat for a while with water or soft drink. Cut some more sat down again until the garden was done. It was shaded and cooler. I would not chose to sit there it was just I was just trying to get the garden work done. I can not stand nosey neighbours