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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About this mum in the coffee shop

826 replies

Sallygoroundthemoon · 10/08/2017 11:54

I am currently in a coffee shop having a nice cup of tea and catching up on my emails. It is fairly buzzing with chat and so on but not the sort of place with thumping music if you see what I mean. All good and to be expected in a coffee shop. However, there is a mum the other side of the shop reading stories to her toddler at the top of her voice, complete with pauses and shouts to make the toddler jump, silly voices and so on.

Now I am all one for reading to little ones and am not adverse to silly voices but AIBU to think that a nice coffee shop is not the place to be doing this so loudly? I've now heard the same story several times and it is driving me up the wall, not to mention being on edge waiting for the dramatic shouts. It just reeks of 'look at me, I'm a parent don't you know and I don't give a shit about anyone else'.

OP posts:
TeamCersei · 10/08/2017 16:51

I'll take that as a compliment.

Dustbunny1900 · 10/08/2017 16:52

its none of my business what others think of me

But it is my business if I'm annoying everyone else or being rude/inconsiderate. If it's a colicky baby screaming and the parents doing what they can, I totally get that but if you're just oblivious to every other person around you because nobody else matters in your mind..then I don't think that's good. I may be painfully shy, but I think that's just common courtesy. And it's not just parents and kids who act like selfish jerks either, that goes for anyone without thought for other people around them just trying to get through their day.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 10/08/2017 16:53

Y so judgmental!there r some bitches on here

Well this escalated quickly! Confused

YouTheCat · 10/08/2017 16:55

I don't believe there are 'bitches' on here. I think they'd struggle to type with their paws.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 10/08/2017 16:56

YouTheCat Grin

AWendyAteMyFitbit · 10/08/2017 16:58

Or claws Cat

AWendyAteMyFitbit · 10/08/2017 16:58
Smile
TeamCersei · 10/08/2017 16:58

Pixies,
as you can tell by my username,
so not bothered by being called a bitch Grin

Some people need to lighten up and stop taking life so seriously.
As much as people like to say there's no such thing.

Performance Parenting does go on.
It is amusing (for those of us who witness it)
And if you are one of those who do it -
Please don't ever stop. Yes, it's annoying, but it's also highly entertaining.

YouTheCat · 10/08/2017 16:59

I suspect there are cats on here though... cats with thumbs... waiting.

Neutrogena · 10/08/2017 17:00

@TeamCersei

Neutrogena, are you guilty of Performance Parenting?
You seem to be taking things a little too personally.
Which leads me to believe you are one of those parents.Is your child called Tarquin by any chance?

I don't believe so, no. I will not be put off by making a tit of myself though. That would embarrass some others, but that's ok. Each to their own.
I don't think I am taking it personally - I am not chucking out the insults like some others.

Tarquin - i HATE that name. It's awful.
My kids are called common, normal names I'm afraid.

Mulberry72 · 10/08/2017 17:03

Today 16:45 kateandme

Y so judgmental!there r some bitches on here.sorry but y can't she be a good mum being annoyingly perhaps loud.but just enthusiastic with her kid fr no reason other than that's how u read to them often forgetting how animated u can get.y is she performing.can we leave people alone ever.yes moan at it for disturbs but to be so nasty.i get scared woman are looking it be so judgingly after reading some posts.cuz it ain moaning its sometimes really aniliating people

Eh? Hmm

MaisyPops · 10/08/2017 17:03

Aww no TeamCersei, don't tell them to carry on. Grin

I'd compromise though. 5 minutes of excessively varied pitch 'and this is called a cake. Shall we sing pat a cake' performanve parenting is about the threshold before I want to roll my eyes inwardly. It's annoying but not crime of the century.

But, in return, I'd like a cafe policy of 'if your kids run around the place and generally treat it as their play area, you will be asked to buy everyone a coffee and then we'll kick you out'.Grin

Original poster
Sallygoroundthemoon · 10/08/2017 17:13

Hello everyone. I've just got back from work and gosh, I didn't expect this thread to take off like this (I am usually a Ninja and have never trended before)...so while I think about it, fuck off Daily Mail!

To be fair to the performance parent she was not letting her toddler run around the café. The one time he wandered off, she called out in a oddly feeble voice given her reading, 'come back Hugo' (yes that was his name) and then when he didn't reply (what a surprise) got up to get him.

There is definitely a difference between quietly reading to your child and shouting out and making people jump, though again to be fair she was not Brian Blessed, just channelling him. It was the relentlessness of it all, book after book then the songs, all presented so we could all hear. I left in the end as I couldn't face another round.

OP posts:
fannydaggerz · 10/08/2017 17:15

I don't really see the issue to be honest. I think it's nice when I see that when I'm out.

nina2b · 10/08/2017 17:22

Today 14:41 HotNatured

Neutrogena

You sound really annoying hmm

I hope I never have the displeasure of trying to enjoy a sit down and a coffee in the same café as you and your feral kids

Your parenting style breeds horrible brats.

Well said. It seems that some posters are being deliberately obtuse and therefore they need to be told in no uncertain terms.

Willow2017 · 10/08/2017 17:23

I have to stop reading shit like this.
The very fact that an actual parent needs to be told by a waitress carrying hot drinks, soup Tec or some random stranger that her kid running around in a coffee shop is unacceptable and bloody famfetoys. Not just dangerous for het kuds but anyone yhat gets splattered with not liquids due to your kid being on the way I would she the arse off you if that got stuff landed on me or my kids.

If you need it explaining that boiling liquids are dangerous to everyone in the vacinity then time you went to parenting school.

Willow2017 · 10/08/2017 17:24

And if you can't be arsed to parent your child and prevent them from possible scalding them then its not anyone elses either.

W3lsh · 10/08/2017 17:30

Yes things like this are very annoying but I'm not sure there's really much you can do about it.

nina2b · 10/08/2017 17:33

kateandme

Y so judgmental!there r some bitches on here.sorry but y can't she be a good mum being annoyingly perhaps loud.but just enthusiastic with her kid fr no reason other than that's how u read to them often forgetting how animated u can get.y is she performing.can we leave people alone ever.yes moan at it for disturbs but to be so nasty.i get scared woman are looking it be so judgingly after reading some posts.cuz it ain moaning its sometimes really aniliating people

Sigh

timeforabrewnow · 10/08/2017 17:35

Well, I have not read the whole thread, but I'm inclined to think 'tough titties' - she's reading a story to her child - so what.

You can always leave - oh you did.

Meh

End of story

Mittens1969 · 10/08/2017 17:35

@fannydaggerz, that's great if it isn't a problem for you. I actually haven't been to a coffee shop when that's been happening but I would say that it would be hard to hold a conversation at my table if a parent was reading that loudly to her child. Reading to your child is great, and singing too, it's just a case of keeping the volume down. It's not a floor show for the other diners, they want to continue their own conversations generally.

LesLavandes · 10/08/2017 17:35

Oh yes. Totally annoying. This kind of 'yummy mummy' krap makes my blood boil on the unfortunate occasions I come i to contact with these entitled idiots

nina2b · 10/08/2017 17:37

Today 17:35 timeforabrewnow

Well, I have not read the whole thread, but I'm inclined to think 'tough titties' - she's reading a story to her child - so what.

You can always leave - oh you did.

Meh

End of story

Many thanks for your contribution.

MeltorPeltor · 10/08/2017 17:39

I often read to DS to get him to STFU and sit still in coffee shops but we manage to do it by snuggling up and reading quietly in his ear.

MeltorPeltor · 10/08/2017 17:40

polishes parental halo

He's currently hypnotised by the TV whilst I iron so I'm not that great IRL