About this mum in the coffee shop

[Sallygoroundthemoon]

I am currently in a coffee shop having a nice cup of tea and catching up on my emails. It is fairly buzzing with chat and so on but not the sort of place with thumping music if you see what I mean. All good and to be expected in a coffee shop. However, there is a mum the other side of the shop reading stories to her toddler at the top of her voice, complete with pauses and shouts to make the toddler jump, silly voices and so on.

Now I am all one for reading to little ones and am not adverse to silly voices but AIBU to think that a nice coffee shop is not the place to be doing this so loudly? I've now heard the same story several times and it is driving me up the wall, not to mention being on edge waiting for the dramatic shouts. It just reeks of 'look at me, I'm a parent don't you know and I don't give a shit about anyone else'.

everyone has a breaking point and can only take so much. One of them was in there the other day doing spellings and word explaining but SO loudly and dramatically. I felt i was back at school, there was no escape. It was a freaking NIGHTMARE and i came VERY close to telling her to STFU but managed to contain my hormones. I think given the chance most people in there would have applauded me. I actually think it is nice to see a parent reading to their child BUT not so we all have to listen. Oddly enough by direct contrast there was a women in there with her little boy and she was reading to him but in such an unaffected way. I could see she too was irritated and getting mighty pissed off

You may be happy for others to tell your kids off.
Years of experience tells me in general the sort of people who let their kids run about how they like are somewhat precious of their little darlings and are probably the ones who come to us at school under the impression that they can run and shout down corridors etc (and then mum will call and complain if you tell them off).

But first and foremost why the hell is it the job of waiting staff to tell YOUR kids how to act in public?!

@neutrogena it might take a village to raise a child but that doesn't mean you get to be a half arsed parent while the rest of us pick up the slack

It takes a village to raise a child
Aye it does.

But it relies on PARENTS instilling the basics, like this is when it is OK to run and shout vs now is not the time or place.

Saying other people could step in just enables you to be the fun person so that then the line is 'sorry you can't run around dear but the man has asked you not to/we need to be quieter now because the lady says...' rather than 'we are behaving this way in a cafe because I'm the parent and that's how we behave in a cafe'.

@MaisyPops

But first and foremost why the hell is it the job of waiting staff to tell YOUR kids how to act in public?

Because we have different thresholds - I may not be aware that my child is p1ssing other off.
What's so difficult in speaking to others?
Would you rather mutter under your breath?
Just say something!

Women and children: ruining the day for people who really matter. Yet again

I'm currently visiting family in new york. The tolerance for children, noise, people being different to you, etc in this city is reality refreshing!

Sometimes the world outside of your head is loud, intrusive and annoying. Meh. Learn to let it go! Don't be all British about it - silently seething is the pits

Neutrogena If they charge around and shout in indoor spaces guaranteed they'll be pissing people off, it's annoying.

I was on a train to London sharing a table with a Mum and her two children. Mum was doing a very exaggerated "What do we know about London's history!!!" routine. The 12 year old boy just looked embarrassed.

You might not be aware that if your child is running and screaming etc in a place not designed for running and screaming then it's not appropriate. I don't buy it. I think you're happy for them to run up and down because it's fun for them and easier for you

Why should it be 'oh someone's pissed off so I'll get them to stop'?

It's much better to teach them 'in a cafe this is how we behave'.

The threshold of acceptable behaviour isn't 'anything goes until you piss someone off'. Manners and consideration go a long way.

Clearly we are going to have to agree to disagree.

Could be the nanny's day off.

Performance parenting has given me hours of entertainment. The best place to witness it seems to be the supermarket. So much scope for the dedicated performance parent: organic vegetables, exotic fruits, quinoa galore.

I love being witness to a bit of performance parenting and it is definitely not something that's 'made up'

Off topic slightly,
Do people actually call their children Tarquin?
Has anybody actually come across a child called 'Tarquin' in RL?

Neutrogena I never said it was performance parenting. It's having lack of awareness or thought for anyone else around you. Really quite ignorant.

TeamCersei
A young person I used to work with claims to know one. But then that could just be teenage story telling. I've not met one.

neutro are you the type of parent that allows your child to ie at a vintage market pick up anything they like from a sellers table however delicate it may be or thumb through new childrens books that are for sale even if their fingers may be dirty having just eaten something sticky despite having no intention of buying one? would your children be called ie George or Otto or Clementine? Wouldn't want to interupt their creativity now would we

But it's in their 'nature' to run wild

Children are children - running, screaming, etc are part of their makeup.

That's what parks are for.

Letting them run around a cafe is just plain irresponsible and that's me being polite.

U ok, Hun?

I imagine 'Performance parenting ' is far less prevalent than most posters on here think. I believe that most parents are oblivious to others when with their children.

Who does stuff to belittle other parents? And why?

Neutrogena, are you guilty of Performance Parenting?
You seem to be taking things a little too personally.
Which leads me to believe you are one of those parents.

Is your child called Tarquin by any chance?

There are two women in my local coffee shop who performance parent competitively. Many's the time I've been tempted to say "Do you know, there's a name for what you're doing?" but alas I am British and a wuss so yes I sit and seethe quietly.

But sometimes transcribe their utterances via text to my husband to amuse us both

It takes a village to raise a child.

No thanks. I'm responsible for the behaviour and discipline of my own DCs. No one else's. Then again I'm one of those miserable sods who believes fervently in the fact I am my Childs Mother first, and friend afterwards.

I quite agree, cringeworthy and so unnecessary. YADNBU! It's just not appropriate in a coffee shop, it would be different if you were in a soft play centre, though even there it would be irritating, tbh.

You could complain to the manager?

@ Boobooboo

Y so judgmental!there r some bitches on here.

2 troo babez

People who let their kids run riot around these places are the reason such establishments have to put "children MUST be supervised" in big fat neon letters everywhere. I am not responsible for your children. PARENT your own.

YANBU - she could have at least waited until she got home.