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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Doctors in one hour, what do I say?

149 replies

PumpernickleInaWarehouse · 10/08/2017 08:08

I have doctors in one hour that the midwife made me book, I strongly suspect I am suffering with PND quite badly, I spent the day yesterday hiding under the covers crying my eyes out and wishing I could run away from my life. I can't cope at all.
I've never been to this doctors before and I suddenly feel so nervous and like I don't know what to say to him....
What if he fobs me off or just says I have baby blues?
What if he goes the other way and reports me to social services?
I just wish this wasn't happening to me.
Im feeling utter hopelessness.

OP posts:

Mummyh2016 · 10/08/2017 08:10

They won't report you to social services, please don't worry. Just tell them exactly what you've told us. You're doing the right thing.

NipInTheAir · 10/08/2017 08:13

I think if the midwife felt you needed the appointment, the Dr won't fob you off.

How old is your baby? I imagine the Dr will tell you about support That's available, be kind and assess how much help you need.

Do you have help and support in rl.

Hope the apt goes well and you are feeling better soon.

welshweasel · 10/08/2017 08:13

Just be honest. Don't worry if you cry. The doctor will have seen it all before and is there to help you, not make things worse. You're not going to be reported to anyone. It's not your fault and you will get better.

lilyboleyn · 10/08/2017 08:14

Write it all down on a piece of paper and hand it to the doctor. Then you can cry as much as you like.
I have done this x3 and no one has ever sent SS round to me.
Hugs.

NoddysBell · 10/08/2017 08:14

I've been there and it's frightening. I'd just explain that the midwife wanted you to book the appointment as she feels you may have PND. Let the doctor take the lead then and ask you questions.

I had severe PND twice. The first GP I saw was useless, wouldn't prescribe anything due to me BF. Things became so bad 6 months later I saw another GP who started me on Sertraline and it worked amazingly well.

Best of luck. I hope you get the help you need

lilyboleyn · 10/08/2017 08:14

Or just show him this post. He won't send SS round.

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 10/08/2017 08:19

They won't report you, and I'm sure will be supportive.

You might find it useful to write a short note about how you've been feeling in case you find it hard to talk when you get there. Hopefully you won't need it, but if you do, it should help.

Oh, and well done for making and keeping the appointment - you're doing the best thing for you and your baby.

tiggerbounce77 · 10/08/2017 08:21

Please don't worry, the doctors are there to help and they deal with pnd more than you would think, I think pnd is still a bit of a taboo subject that not many talk about due to the fear of being judge. Please do seek the support that you need, you will get the help and support, there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed or afraid of x

PsychoPumpkin · 10/08/2017 08:24

Admitting you need help is always the scariest part but you'll be so glad you did!

flumpybear · 10/08/2017 08:26

Just say what you're feeling - good luck and don't worry

NipInTheAir · 10/08/2017 08:26

Oh, and pumpernickel, please let us know how the appointment goes and HOP back onto the thread whenever you like for a chat and a hand hold. Many of us know how hard the small baby days are/were

CuppaSarah · 10/08/2017 08:29

It's ok, lot's of us have been where you are. It's so scary and so horrible. But it's the pnd making everything so difficult, it makes everything hazy and it's so hard to think.

The Dr will have seen lots of ladies in your situation, they will be able to help you and get you access to support. If your HVs are good they will support you too. I've had pnd badly with both kids, ss have never been informed as there was no risk to them.

Getting help is the best thing you can do for you and baby. It makes you a good mother. You didn't choose to have pnd, but choosing to access help is what a good mother does.

This will pass, you will beat it. Not today or tomorrow, but one day this will all be a memory

Purplemac · 10/08/2017 08:29

I hope it goes ok OP, it more than likely will. GP's take PND very seriously and are there to support you. If there was any reason for them to call Social Services, I'm sure the midwife would have been all over it.

Just be honest. Explain that you're there because your midwife has asked you to make an appointment due to possible PND, explain how you feel. They will listen, and they will not fob you off.

starsorwater · 10/08/2017 08:31

I have been in that state on my knees in GPs. Literally could hold up any longer. It is appalling, I am so sorry for you. They will not judge, or fetch SS. They will help you. This point, the minutes before you ask for help, is rock bottom. After this point, you are on the way back up. Keep your courage up, one hour, ten minutes, thirty seconds even, at a time.

Lifeofpies · 10/08/2017 08:31

Bless you Pumpernickel - I remember feeling exactly the same. I ended up writing things down and giving the paper to the GP as a starting point.
It will get better, I promise. If you're not averse to taking anti-Ds (sertraline) then for me they were life saving (and I could still breastfeed).

2cats2many · 10/08/2017 08:32

Be honest with the doctor. My friend had severe PND with both of her pregnancies and the help and support she received was a total lifesaver. I dread to think what could have happened if she hadn't asked for help.

Good luck. I promise it will get better X

Coldhandscoldheart · 10/08/2017 08:33

Also if you think you might cry too much to speak, you could write on a piece of paper that the midwife asked you to come as she thought maybe pnd and you can pass that over.

PeppaPigObsession · 10/08/2017 08:33

The doctor won't report you to social services.

The Health Visitor says they don't worry about those that are seeking help those that are "visible" as it were, it's the ones that aren't that they worry about more.

If you really feel you can't say anything write everything down on a piece of paper and give it to the doctor. They won't judge, they'll want to help.

Hope you feel better soon xx

Ceebs85 · 10/08/2017 08:33

Oh lovely just make a couple of notes on a scrap of paper, go there and be honest about how you feel.

It's the people who don't seek help that are the worry for professionals.

I very very much doubt SS would be contacted but even if they were it would honestly be so they could look at what support you may need from them.

I'm a crisis mental health worker. Massive well done for admitting you need help. X

NellieBuff · 10/08/2017 08:36

Oh darling -do not worry. The GP will give the help you need at the moment. They are not going to judge you in any way they are just going to help you through this rough patch. I know the world seems horrible and scary at the moment but it will get better day by day - I promise you. Take care

SloanePeterson · 10/08/2017 08:36

I've been there too. Absolutely broke down in the appointment. T it was absolutely the best thing I've ever done. The road to recovery started right there. Social services aren't even in the picture don't worry x GPs see this kind of thing so so often. They won't judge you or make you feel ashamed. They'll refer you on to the services that can help. In my case it was cbt and there's no doubt that that saved my life. I was also out in a course of anti anxiety meds that I could still breastfeed on. It took a few weeks for them to kick in, but when they did it was like waking up to sunshine after months of rain (that sounds very wanky but I can't think how else to describe it. They gave me my life back.) good luck today x deep breath. You can do this

cassiebabie · 10/08/2017 08:36

Maybe my depression was much more serious. The second I sat down and talked about how I felt, SS was involved and the day after that I was put into a mental health hospital. Still felt like nobody had listened

AntiHop · 10/08/2017 08:37

If you're breastfeeding, don't let them tell you that you can't take anti depressants. There are ones you can take when bf. The breastfeeding network has a pharmacist who van advise you.
www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/drugs-factsheets/

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 10/08/2017 08:43

I strongly suggest, that you show him what you have just written, it says it all. You are in a lonely place at the moment, if the GP reads this, he'll know exactly how you are feeling, and can help you, with immediate effect.
I'm so sorry you are not well, but please know, that in time, this will come to pass.Take every ounce of help, or support, that is offered to you. Thinking of you. 🌺

LloydColeandtheCoconuts · 10/08/2017 08:58

I hope it goes well OP

What a lovely and supportive bunch of posters on this thread. MN at its best.

for you all

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