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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To rehome the elderly cat?

275 replies

Lazyginger · 09/08/2017 23:10

The elderly cat (15) keeps pissing in the house. The house stinks.
I have tried everything! I've taken it to the vets (several times) for expensive tests - apparently there's nothing wrong.
I've thrown out countless carpet and door mat.
I've tried everything Google suggests. Tin foil. Orange peel. Aversion therapy.
Locking her out works whilst she's out! But as soon as I let her in again she pisses somewhere! Soon it will be winter again and I didnt really want to lock her out.
Thing is, apart from making the house stink, I've got a 4 month old ds who will soon be crawling and the last thing I want is for him to find a lake of cat piss.
I'm at the end of the road and considering taking her back to the cats protection as awful as it makes me feel. Is this unreasonable? Im at my wits end!

OP posts:
ConcreteUnderpants · 10/08/2017 19:13

Maybe you will be abandoned at a rescue centre for old women. karma is a wonderfully strange thing

Wouldpoisonbesobad - seriously?! WTF is wrong with you?!

PonderLand · 10/08/2017 19:48

'Earth in the tray' to be honest I'd suggest using carpet/mat if that doesn't work. She's obviously fond of that! Would be stinky still but at least contained then switch to cat litter once she knows to do it in a tray.

kali110 · 10/08/2017 20:03

notevernotnevernotnohow
15 years? Then ours, mil and friends cat must be exceptions Confused

The op needs to have a litter tray per cat.

OlennasWimple · 10/08/2017 20:06

If I am senile and pissing everywhere and unable to keep myself how I want to be, DH knows to put me on a plane to Switzerland forthwith (and I am to do the same to him). He is certainly not to keep me going for another ten years just to meet some arbitrary agreed "now is old enough" point

OP - you might find that if earth in the litter tray works, you can gradually switch it over to regular litter (perhaps the clumping clay type, that is more "earthy"?) that is easier to clean. Make sure you are using rubber gloves to do the litter tray / cleaning up while you are pregnant too

hiphopcat · 10/08/2017 20:06

@kali110

Yes your cats ARE the exceptions.

Domestic pet cats live an average of 15-20 years. SO probably 16-18ish.

Saying 15 year old cats generally have 'a good 10 years left' in them is utter bollocks.

HipsterHunter · 10/08/2017 20:10

@hiphopcat agree. 20 is a really really old cat. 15 is a good age.

My favourite boy went at 13 which felt too young :-(

OlennasWimple · 10/08/2017 20:10

kali - I don't mean this to sound smug, but that's how averages work (I'm going to guess that the quoted average is the mean, as that is the most common). So my cat who only made it to 13 and my sister's cat who made it to 11 are offset by my sister's other cat who was 17 when she died and my mum's cat who was very nearly 19 (we think - rescued as a kitten). So our "family average" is around 15 years old, but with significant variation in how long they actually lived for

kali110 · 10/08/2017 20:11

A lot of sites say the average life of cats are 15-17 years, so think it depends what site you look at.
Certainly don't think mine are the exception! Theres some by us older than ours!
The life expendancy of the cat ranges from 17-20 years, so i dont think saying she could have another 5 years is off.

kali110 · 10/08/2017 20:12

hiphopcat
I never said the cat had 10 years left Hmm
That would be ridiculous

BatFaceGal · 10/08/2017 20:15

You can't have your entire house used as a giant litter tray. Because that is disgusting. Who wants to live like that?

On the other hand, animals aren't disposable. Confine the cat to a limited area, provide a couple of little trays and use a plug in calmer.

WonderLime · 10/08/2017 20:22

"She's 15 - she may well live for another good 10 years!"

Agree with pp, total bollocks. The average life span of the domestic cat is 15.1 years.

May well live another 10 years - not will live another 10 years (PIL's cat has just been PTS at age of 26). Average means some cats will live older than 15.1 years.

ElizabethShaw · 10/08/2017 20:27

I like pets but honestly they are not "family members" - they are animals! The comparisons to elderly relatives and disabled children are ridiculous and offensive.

Its true though that no one will rehome an elderly, incontinent cat. I wouldn't keep an animal that was pissing all over my house.

BubblesBubblesBubbles · 10/08/2017 20:35

Sorry op part and parcel of owning a cat!

You have been given lots of useful advice and I have nothing to add.

Of course my recommendation would be never to have another animal as you appear clueless and stupidly naive about cat care.

ElizabethShaw all of my animals are very much apart of my family! When they are old I will provide them with the care they deserve and need! As I did with my cat whom was put to sleep last year. He was 13 and rather poorly he received the care he deserved.

notevernotnevernotnohow · 10/08/2017 20:37

May well live another 10 years - not will live another 10 years (PIL's cat has just been PTS at age of 26). Average means some cats will live older than 15.1 years

Oh dear. The official oldest cat in the world is 27 years.

No, it may well not live another 10 year, that is highly unlikely. Vanishingly remote in fact.

BertrandRussell · 10/08/2017 20:48

And you said "good years" as well. The poor cat is not living "good years" now........

mirime · 10/08/2017 21:09

Surely average life span is brought down by the number of young cats killed by cars? I seem to recall that it's mainly below the age of three.

Anyway, I had a baby, moved house 5 or 6 months later and or eldest started pooing everywhere. No infection or anything, vet thought it was stress. Being ultra clean with the litter trays (and getting more of them), feliway, making sure she had lots of places to hide eventually helped. As did putting the two younger cats out at night - they were happy to go - so she had space from them regularly as well.

I was at my wit's end though. I could never have got rid of her to Cats Protection or had her pts, but there was discussion about her moving back to my parents house.

Mittens1969 · 10/08/2017 21:18

@BubblesBubblesBubbles, that isn't fair, from the OP said in her second post, she's been looking for a solution for some time. It's just been a stressful time for the poor cat with moving house and a new baby. Pretty stressful for the OP too, so no wonder she's been struggling.

She also has 2 other cats, so she's going to have cats for some time to come!

I think it's basically stres, OP, and bullying from the other cats, and possibly other cats in the area.

Hope you find a solution that works for you and the pussy cat. Smile

mirime · 10/08/2017 21:19

ElizabethShaw why can't animals be members of the family?

We had to have our youngest cat pts a couple of weeks ok, we were devastated, it was completely out of the blue and he was only 7. When the vet called and said he was deteriorating and not responding to treatment I ran over to be with him because that was part of what I committed to when he came to live with us. And I've done it for all my cats that have had to be pts even though it's broken my heart each time.

Cleaning up sick and piss and poo is also part of the deal, especially with older animals. Anyone not prepared to do that shouldn't have an animal.

hiphopcat · 10/08/2017 21:41

@kali110

hiphopcat ....I never said the cat had 10 years left .. That would be ridiculous

But you were defending someone who DID say that. Plus, you responded to people saying 'a 15-18 year lifespan is the average for a cat,' by saying 'MY cats and everyone's cat I know of must be the exceptions then.' You were basically suggesting that they have lived/are living the same 25 year plus lifespan, whether you realise it (or admit it) or not.

nowwheredidmyunicorngo · 10/08/2017 21:45

You must know that the right thing to do is have her PTS?

This is an vital part of having animals. Please do not regime her. Make an appointment next week and say goodbye.

nowwheredidmyunicorngo · 10/08/2017 21:45

Rehome!

Motherof3beautfulgirls · 10/08/2017 21:50

YANBU----

It's easy to sit in a clean smelling home and say you're being UR.

I went through something very similar, it drove me wild!! The smell is awful and my god I was at my whitts end.

Luckily it stopped, literally stopped, I had piss in my bed, piss on the mats, piss on the kitchen counter! What a nightmare I do feel for you OP. Stay strong and probably ask about tbh.

kali110 · 10/08/2017 21:54

hiphopcat i said she may live for another 5 years, not 10.
I wasn't defending the 10 years etc, but simply saying that i dont think age 15 means the end of the cat.

BubblesBubblesBubbles · 10/08/2017 22:11

Mitten1969 if the op wanted to have found a solution it would have happened by now. Instead they want to rehome a 15 year old cat who would be pts. Most rescues in my area wouldn't take in a cat that age they are underfunded and under resourced at the best of times.

Personally I would have taken the cat back to the vets before now and sought further help or at least explored the possibility of a second opinion. But then I have the means to do this.

A cat will not piss everywhere for fun, it's obviously got an underlying issue (I suspect stress of a new baby) as an animal can't speak it's telling it's owner in the only way it knows.

Unfortunately the op has decided instead of investing time/effort/probably a chunk money just to get rid, so yes that indicates to me they are clueless about pet care.

I have kept/looked after animals (working with a small number of charities with reduce/foster) for many many years and all of my pets have received nothing but the best of care. I simply wouldn't rehome my elderly cat because I couldn't be bothered to find out the underlying cause.

notevernotnevernotnohow · 10/08/2017 22:13

if the op wanted to have found a solution it would have happened by now

The Op has tried many suggested solutions. It may suit you to paint her as some evil cat hater, but that isn't borne out by the facts. That's invented by you.

Unfortunately the op has decided instead of investing time/effort/probably a chunk money just to get rid, so yes that indicates to me they are clueless about pet care

She has already invested time effort and money, so this suggest you are clueless about reading, and understanding.

Would you like to try again with the actual facts, instead of your invented scenario? And an apology would be appropriate as well Smile