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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To rehome the elderly cat?

275 replies

Lazyginger · 09/08/2017 23:10

The elderly cat (15) keeps pissing in the house. The house stinks.
I have tried everything! I've taken it to the vets (several times) for expensive tests - apparently there's nothing wrong.
I've thrown out countless carpet and door mat.
I've tried everything Google suggests. Tin foil. Orange peel. Aversion therapy.
Locking her out works whilst she's out! But as soon as I let her in again she pisses somewhere! Soon it will be winter again and I didnt really want to lock her out.
Thing is, apart from making the house stink, I've got a 4 month old ds who will soon be crawling and the last thing I want is for him to find a lake of cat piss.
I'm at the end of the road and considering taking her back to the cats protection as awful as it makes me feel. Is this unreasonable? Im at my wits end!

OP posts:
Mummymoo2 · 09/08/2017 23:51

Basically the general trend of the replies seems to be blame the baby. So should she have the baby rehomed instead? Last in, first out? Get rid of the cat. You cannot have your baby rolling around in cat piss. Get your priorities in the right place people

UrsulaPandress · 09/08/2017 23:51

I fucking despair

dailydance · 09/08/2017 23:52

*destress not festers (weird auto correct Grin)

Passmethecrisps · 09/08/2017 23:52

Feline dementia. That's what I meant to say in my post.

We had radio iodine therapy for our cat for hypothyroidism some years ago. That treated the issue but other issues came to light such as the cystitis. We also had a young baby and her toys bore the brunt of the stress weeing.

Multiple litter trays, feliway and cystophan have worked well and she has been a happy cat until very recently. Now we think she has feline dementia - symptoms can include peeing in random places despite being house trained, being very vocal, showing disregard for previously understood rules (on the table for example) and being disoriented.

We mop and clean up multiple times a day and are having to consider how long this goes on for.

If you can't find what is wrong or can't give her the time she needs, it is kindest to call it quits. No one will have her Sad

Passmethecrisps · 09/08/2017 23:54

No mummy. Quite clearly people are saying the having poor cat PTS is kinder than trying to have her rehomed if OP cannot work out what is wrong and is not in a position to care for her

SuburbanRhonda · 09/08/2017 23:55

Get your priorities in the right place people

Maybe the OP should have got her priorities right and rehomed the cat before the baby arrived and before it got stressed and unhappy.

Giraffey1 · 09/08/2017 23:55

Disappointed to see some posters suggesting cat should be put to sleep. This is not an acceptable solution to employ just because something is inconvenient for us humans. When you take on a pet you assume responsibility for them in sickness and in health. And yes, I do know what it's like having the problem of weeing cats, but I accepted coping with this was part of the 'deal'.

echt · 09/08/2017 23:56

Basically the general trend of the replies seems to be blame the baby. So should she have the baby rehomed instead? Last in, first out? Get rid of the cat. You cannot have your baby rolling around in cat piss. Get your priorities in the right place people

No-one has blamed the baby, they have said the cat might have stress incontinence because of the baby's arrival. Not the same thing at all.

notevernotnevernotnohow · 09/08/2017 23:57

Perhaps your son will feel the same way about you in the future

He'll think his mother is a pissing cat? Let's hope not!

OP, these threads always attract the extreme type of pet people, so you can't win. In reality there are very few people who could or would cope with an elderly cat covering their house in urine. But rehoming is not really an option, no-one will take her on. Probably time to pts, at 15 it's likely that something is going on that can't be fixed anyway.

crazycatgal · 09/08/2017 23:57

Who is going to rehome a 15 year old incontinent cat? When we take on pets we know that things like incontinence can happen as they grow older, don't take on a pet if you want to just hand it over when problems develop.

When you are elderly do you want your DCs to ship you off if you start weeing yourself?

thecatneuterer · 10/08/2017 00:00

Just to focus on the practicalities - how many litter trays do you have Where are they? And have you ruled out cystitis as the cause?

SecondBreakfast · 10/08/2017 00:00

these threads always attract the extreme type of pet people

No, these threads attract responsible people who understand that a pet is not some object you can just junk when it gets a bit inconvenient.

notevernotnevernotnohow · 10/08/2017 00:03

No, these threads attract responsible people who understand that a pet is not some object you can just junk when it gets a bit inconvenient

Responsible pet owners do not anthopormorphise their animals and compare them to humans, and they deal with them as animals, which they are.
Telling OP tough luck, you got a cat 15 years ago is unhelpful and rather silly.

dailydance · 10/08/2017 00:03

Pass - it's tough. My girl had it for 3 years. A few months before we had to get her put down she even tried to pee in my hair. It was heartbreaking. She was so confused then.

My only suggestion and what worked well for us, up until maybe the last few months anyway, was being very sensitive towards her in terms of watching her behaviour so that we could understand what she was looking for/confused about. Once we worked out her different cries and what her pacing meant then it was fine. It was probably harder for us to watch than it was for her living with it. The pissing happened maybe once or twice a month so wasn't too bad for a cat with dementia imo. We kept on top of it and would bring her to her tray sometimes to remind her where it was (especially if we noticed that she hadn't had a wee for a while)... I was a good slave Grin

SirVixofVixHall · 10/08/2017 00:04

I agree with dailydance. My old dog had a bladder problem, caused by nerve damage from degentaring spine. He had drugs that helped for a while, but in the end he did wee everywhere. He had accupuncture and pain meds, regular checks for UTIs, and I took up the carpet in the room he used most . He was like this for a couple of years until he died, and it was hard work, ( I also had a crawling baby and a toddler) but we loved loved loved him, he had been such a wonderful companion and friend, a bit of wee (or even a lot of wee) was a small price to pay.

OlennasWimple · 10/08/2017 00:08

We had every test under the sun for our old fellow (no, not covered by insurance....) but they didn't diagnose anything other than old age Sad

OP, I feel for you - it's not pleasant at all. If you re-home the cat, you shouldn't kid yourself that you aren't just passing the problem to someone else, most likely a shelter who will end up having her PTS. There are things you can do to make it more manageable - there are some really good sprays and cleaners which neutralise the smell (and read up about what not to do, as it's easy to get wrong and "set" the smell in carpet etc)

Maelstrop · 10/08/2017 00:10

Put her to sleep, man the fuck up and do it. At 15, mine was senile and incontinent, losing weight rapidly regardless of what I gave him. The vet said it was the right thing to do, so we PTS. You can't re-home and expect her to live happily ever after. Be realistic and PTS.

ChickenVindaloo2 · 10/08/2017 00:12

OP, your language is interesting.

"the elderly cat" (not "my" or "our")
"it"
"cat piss"

Have you ever loved this poor creature?

Mittens1969 · 10/08/2017 00:15

Your poor pussy cat, a new baby is a lot to cope with at 15 years old, I'm not surprised it's weeing in the house. Probably arthritic and incontinent to boot.

It's going to get harder for the cat, not easier, once the baby becomes a toddler. I've been through this with my elderly female cat. She'd been a rescue cat and I first had her when I was single, then coped with a new DH and a house move, followed by another house move, a new kitten and then DD1 came to live with us aged 1.

She coped with all of it until DD1 came. She couldn't deal with the stress and over-groomed and I had to keep taking her to the vet for a steroid injection to keep her as calm as possible. Finally she developed other health problems, probable thyroid problems, dental problems (she'd suffered with gingivitis over the years), in the end she stopped eating.

We knew that she was never going to be happy in our house with DD1, sadly, and we couldn't rehome her so we had her pts aged 13 and a half. She'd been such a brilliant pet, but it was time to take responsibility myself and put her out of her misery.

Your cat should not be outside at 15 and not well. It can't be happy not being able to get to the litter tray. Don't try and rehome it, make the best decision for your pet.

Lunde · 10/08/2017 00:16

Some of our cats have done this and there is always a cause such as cystitis that required antibiotics and bladder crystals that required surgery and new urinary dry food that has to be bought from the vet (at some extortionate price).

Elderly cats can get very stressed with change so the Feliway plug in is worth a try.

Another issue is that if a cat has urinated in a particular place they will often return there so the floor will need extra cleaning to remove all trace as sometimes they appear to be able to sniff out the place even after cleaning.

It is not going to be easy to rehome a 15 year old cat unless you personally know someone who will take her.

ChickenVindaloo2 · 10/08/2017 00:17

15 is not even all that old for a cat.

We had one cat with three legs that lived happily until she was at least 23 (not exactly sure as she was a rescue). My own father (a normal bloke from Glasgow) was nearly on the floor with grief when she eventually got PTS. She was a touch hit and miss with the litter tray and wailed at nights sometimes but she still played in the garden and liked cuddles until the very final day when she turned her face to the wall and therefore told us it was Time.

My current one is just a baby at 10, as far as I'm concerned.

ChickenVindaloo2 · 10/08/2017 00:19

Jeezo, imagine finding out your parents had their cat put to sleep when you were born! I'd feel so guilty if I were that child!

AllToadsLeadToHome · 10/08/2017 00:19

Find a sanctuary, not a rehoming centre. She would be happier in a place where she was welcome and could relax during her old age. You clearly don't want her.

There are sanctuaries where unwanted pets can live out their lives, ask your vet or look on Google.

honeyroar · 10/08/2017 00:22

Mummy nobody is BLAMING the baby, but simply suggesting it may have stressed the cat into peeing - and giving ideas of how to relieve the stress and stop it peeing...

We bought our neighbour's house when he went into a home and knocked through. His elderly cat had been peeing everywhere for months and he'd thought about putting her to sleep. His relatives were going to rehome her so we said we'd take her, as we are very rural and she'd never lived anywhere else. We coped for a year, but she started peeing again - on the dining table and kitchen units even! We ended up having her PTS quietly in her own home at the age of 17.

OP I'd try and get to the root of the problem and deal with it if you can, but if not put her down. Rehoming would be the cruelest thing. (Not that she'd stand a chance).

Piewraith · 10/08/2017 00:22

I am the biggest cat lover possible but I think when it comes to an elderly cat is physically and mentally deteriorating to the point that they have forgotten how to use the litter box, you should have them pts.