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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To rehome the elderly cat?

275 replies

Lazyginger · 09/08/2017 23:10

The elderly cat (15) keeps pissing in the house. The house stinks.
I have tried everything! I've taken it to the vets (several times) for expensive tests - apparently there's nothing wrong.
I've thrown out countless carpet and door mat.
I've tried everything Google suggests. Tin foil. Orange peel. Aversion therapy.
Locking her out works whilst she's out! But as soon as I let her in again she pisses somewhere! Soon it will be winter again and I didnt really want to lock her out.
Thing is, apart from making the house stink, I've got a 4 month old ds who will soon be crawling and the last thing I want is for him to find a lake of cat piss.
I'm at the end of the road and considering taking her back to the cats protection as awful as it makes me feel. Is this unreasonable? Im at my wits end!

OP posts:
notevernotnevernotnohow · 10/08/2017 13:48

Maybe you will be abandoned at a rescue centre for old women. karma is a wonderfully strange thing

Karma doesn't exist, and neither do rescue centres for old women.

This is a cat. Not as disabled child, and some offensive oaf compared it to, not an elderly woman, not any kind of vulnerable person. It's a cat.
Compassion, yes. This ridiculous anthropomorphisation and inane human comparisons, no. Get a hold of yourselves.

kali110 · 10/08/2017 13:48

differenteverytime dementia is very common.
Start howling, ( ehen it starts getting dark, early morning) forgetting to eat, staring into space, may get aggressive etc
-Best to keep things in house in same place so she knows where she is.
-there is medication available
-diet high in omega 3

BertrandRussell · 10/08/2017 13:54

It's an elderly, unhappy cat. Cats hate being dirty.

TheScottishPlay · 10/08/2017 14:06

Your OP stated you were thinking of taking her to be rehomed. That's what everyone responded to!

ChristmasFluff · 10/08/2017 14:09

Lots of litter trays is my advice. My cat was like this for the last 6 years of his life (21 when he died), and as you have found, nothing works. I confined him to the downstairs (he had a catflap to outside) and put litter trays in the places he liked to wee. It didn't stop it, but it improved on cleaning. I'd keep the main room where the baby is in the day cat free when you aren't there (they never do it when you are there....). It did wonders for my housekeeping though - he'd pee on anything left on the floor, so we stopped leaving things on the floor. Then he started on anything left anywhere, so my surfaces had to be totally clutter-free - the habit has stuck!

ClandestineAdulation · 10/08/2017 14:13

It's not what you want to hear, but YABU. Very few people will want to take on an elderly cat and she is likely to be in a shelter for quite some time, which would mean she is ultimately more stressed than she currently is.

The addition of a baby into the household may be the cause of her stress, but it's difficult to tell as older cats can become incontinent if there are underlying issues.

Cats are very sensitive to change, and this does manifest in lots of different ways.

Original poster
Lazyginger · 10/08/2017 14:20

Minerva - sounds extremely similar. So so sad Sad

OP posts:
IloveBanff · 10/08/2017 14:28

Gramgram "Have you had her checked over by a vet?"

The 2nd line of the OP is "I have tried everything! I've taken it to the vets (several times) for expensive tests - apparently there's nothing wrong."!
How could you not see that?

Piewraith · 10/08/2017 14:37

For all the PPs saying how OP should be abandoned or killed by her son in the future as karma - you know what, if I grow old and have dementia, can't take care of myself and become incontinent then yes, I hope my family would give me comfort care only and let me go in peace rather than prolonging a life of misery.

notevernotnevernotnohow · 10/08/2017 14:38

You know the people smugly patting themselves on the back about how feline friendly they are....you're absolutely horrible to people. And as people, some of you.

stonecircle · 10/08/2017 14:48

To those who say no one will take an old cat, that's rubbish, I've adopted 2 old cats (+15yrs) in the past, both with health problems and I know plenty of others who have done the same.

Me too. The lady in the rescue centre saw DH and me coming many years ago when, as newly weds, we went in to see if they had any kittens. She paused by a toothless, squinty eyed old crone in a cage, and delivered the (no doubt well rehearsed) line.... "of course people only ever want fluffy kittens, they never want old dears like this ...". Old crone quickly made herself at home with us. Smile.

A good friend also takes in lots of unwanted older cats.

Before I'm jumped on, I do realise that older cats are much less likely to be rehomed. And that it is distressing to be rehomed. But I thought I'd just mention that it's not 'never' as some posters state.

Mittens1969 · 10/08/2017 15:16

I wish I'd known people like you when I was struggling with my 13 year old cat who couldn't cope with my DD1. I could have rehomed her before she got too ill. I tried then gave up and persevered for another year, by which time she was never going to be able to cope with a move.

Are there insurances that will cover an elderly cat? That was one of the problems I discovered.

My current 4 cats are aged between 1 and 3 years old, and completely fine in a multi-cat household with 2 DDs so thankfully I'm not likely to be facing this challenge for some years!

Loopy567 · 10/08/2017 15:20

A while ago I took in my mum's old cat. My mum had died a few years prior and I told my step dad I would have the cat if he ever needed. He never asked and she actually ended up with a well known animal charity. It took a few calls to track her down. When they discovered I wanted her they couldn't wait to get rid off her. No home visits or checks I just turned up and they let me take her home then and there. She had plenty of accidents but she lived another 10 months or so and I would have been heart broken had I not done this for the cat and in a small way my mum (although we weren't close).

ChuffMuffin · 10/08/2017 15:21

Puppy pads in her favourite pee spots as suggested by Namechangetempissue is a good short term idea.

The fact you said it started after you moved house makes me think this is behavioural. There's a great video that might help.

GhostsToMonsoon · 10/08/2017 16:24

When my sister and I were at university my mum had our 13 and 10yo cats who weed in the house put down, without telling us beforhand Angry

Rehoming would be better but I am not sure who would want an elderly incontinent cat. Can you limit the rooms that the cat is allowed in?

Mittens1969 · 10/08/2017 16:46

@GhostsToMonsoon, my sister and I went through a very similar experience. It was later than uni, we were just in further training and in accommodation where we couldn't either of us have pets (in different locations).

We had 2 cats who weed in the house. Our DM used to threaten to have them PTS. She didn't in the end, but she kept them outside, one of whom was seriously arthritic, she disappeared and we have no idea what happened to her (aged 12, I think). I felt awful about her, I like to think that she found a nice new home.

The other cat, her mother actually, kept going until the age of 15, then her health deteriorated. My DSIS at this point was recently married with her own house and took the cat to her new home, but she had to be PTS soon afterwards. The move was too much for her.

I'm so sorry about your cats. Ages 10 and 13 - that's not much really. It must have been hard for you to cope with.

GhostsToMonsoon · 10/08/2017 17:18

Mittens, it's rather ironic that my sister was at vet school at the time and the vet that put them to sleep was the one where she'd done work experience. I wish my mum could have at least warned us beforehand or asked the vet for more advice to deal with the problem. I don't think they were chronically ill, but possibly stressed by some new cats in the territory. I really loved those cats but my mum isn't an animal lover at all.

OP, I hope you can work something out. I do sympathize, as cat wee stinks to high heaven.

HipsterHunter · 10/08/2017 17:28

It's a cat. An old unhappy cat. There isn't anything inherently cruel about having an old unhappy cat PTS when you have explored other options.

I can't believe people are comparing this to a disabled child FFS

thegreylady · 10/08/2017 18:27

No mention of litter trays or cat flaps the poor old thing can't hold on till someone opens a door. At that age she needs two or at least one litter tray near the door she is used to using.

notevernotnevernotnohow · 10/08/2017 18:30

If you read it you would see all about the litter trays. Hmm

Mittens1969 · 10/08/2017 18:42

@GhostsToMonsoon, that must have been very upsetting, she could have warned you, as the 10 year old cat probably wasn't too old to be rehomed! It would have been worth a try at rehoming the 13 year old cat too, if it was healthy apart from the weeing she could have been found a home too, having read some of the posts on the thread!

My DM wasn't a cat lover either but bless her she persevered. She also grew up as a farm girl so she couldn't understand why cats couldn't spend most of their time outdoors. But one of the cats was arthritic so I did feel guilty about her.

The sad thing about the older cat for me was that I had chosen her as a kitten and I would have been able to have her with me if she'd lived longer, it was then that I bought my own flat, and I've kept cats ever since. I wouldn't be without them.

If only mumsnet had been around!!

13Bastards · 10/08/2017 18:55

Rehome the PFB, save the poor little darling happening upon a lake of piss.

LetZygonsbeZygones · 10/08/2017 19:02

Another one suggesting multiple litter trays. Old cats are prone to dodgy kidneys and if they need to wee they can't hold on. My friend has a couple on each floor for her old cat. Also arthritis can make them slow and not able to leg it outside in time. He won't be rehomeable and only you can say if the quality of his life and your fed upness with the pee is severe enough for you to have him pts. But I would definitely try multiple litter trays and some stress relief spray and re check with vet first. It's not easy getting old whether your human or feline :(

user1490465531 · 10/08/2017 19:03

my cat passed recently and I would of given anything for him to make it to 15 even if he became incontinent I would of seen him through to the end because that's part of old age.
A young baby and an elderly cat is not a great combination but sadly as others have said it would be hard to get her rehomed at such an age.

notevernotnevernotnohow · 10/08/2017 19:08

"She's 15 - she may well live for another good 10 years!

Agree with pp, total bollocks. The average life span of the domestic cat is 15.1 years.