Is this accepted now? Young children and electronics on public transport.

[AnneGrommit]

The last few times I've been on a train (not in quiet coach) and quite often on the bus I've had my peace disturbed by toddlers with phones/tablets either playing noisy games on them or watching programmes. When I've asked parents to rein them in I've been invariably met with either passive aggressive remarks about not liking children (I have three myself) or outright hostility and a statement along the lines of "it keeps them quiet". No, it doesn't. It stops them from pestering you but it's far from quiet. AIBU or is this an accepted "thing" now? Because it's fucking annoying.

No. It shouldn't be common behaviour. No excuse for it. SN included.

I had some bloke get on the train with a fecking speaker and start playing his music at top volume last week. Who the fuck thinks the whole train wants to listen to their music?

It was near our stop so I just glared at him when I got off.

Mine do have their tablets in certain situations. Usually when we are having to wait a long period of time where there's nothing for them to do. They wait a little but but then as children do they start getting bored.

Mine do all have headphones though! Christ the tablet noise annoys me, I wouldn't inflict it on others.

Electronic noises are hideous in public, and completely unnecessary given that headphones exist. Instead, we end up with children not learning that this isn't acceptable and they grow into teenagers who share their hideous tinny music with the whole carriage and get aggressive and arsey when asked to wear headphones.

Yes, loud convos are annoying too, but most people, including kids, speak at a normal volume and that's perfectly easy to tune out.

I'm on public transport quite often with DD, she has books (when she was younger I'd sit her on my knee and read quietly into her ear), active books, colouring in, small toys, and yes, occasionally my phone with the volume off.

Oh my I can't stand this! To me it's the equivalent of someone playing music on their phone out loud. Luckily I've just had to deal with it on short trains but I would speak up if it was longer. Kids can enjoy media / games with the sound turned off or even headphones ! X

No problem with quiet chatting. In your opinion. Some people might not want to listen to your quiet chat.

I think it is so funny that people are so sure they are the judge of what is acceptable and oblivious to the fact that they might be doing something that annoys other people even though lots of people have given examples of things they find annoying e.g. letting a child watch PeppaPig v walking round a restaurant.

We have one of those god awful v-tech computer things that was given to our DC by their cousins. It regularly gets hidden in my house as I can't stand the noise of it. On public transport or in a public place? Hell no.

And also agree with PP who say that someone's SN managing issue might be inflaming someone else's.

Yanbu at all. Irritating.
Use headphones!!!
Also applies to annoying teenagers who think they're cool who play music at the back of the bus
I've left a cafe before after being stuck next to a family who had the phone up full volume.

I had a very long journey with restless kids I put my tablet on I had an audience of kids watching

I'm guilty of this. Haven't done it much of late. I try and keep the noise levels down. Have never had anyone make a comment but would turn it off if someone asked me to.
Can totally see how annoying it is though but if I'm being completely honest, I care more about not being pestered by my whining toddler for 20 minutes than I do about whether or not I'm annoying random bus passengers. (preparing to be flamed).

Not read all the thread.

YANBU. It's really annoying having to listen to the noise from kids electrical devices. I never ever let my DC have the volume if they were on a plane, train or bus or whatever. I think it's a classic case of lazy parenting. there I said it

Use headphones or do something else. Kids Chatting is perfectly ok Performance parenting isn't ok.

Why can't you entertain your child for 20 mins?

YANBU I hate the noise, it's unnecessary. My two are used to bus and train journeys (we don't drive) and only have tablet/DS time on an unusually long journey like a holiday. But that's with the volume off or they use headphones, always. Otherwise they draw or something. Short journeys they are happy just staring out the window TBH

everyone is sitting there seething at you, even if they don't say anything (it's Britain after all, the home of the passive aggressive silence). If she won't wear headphones, put your device on mute

Let them seethe! They also seethe when she's shrieking and bouncing on the seat. A typical bus journey without the tablet goes like this:

Me 'lets look out of the window, what can you see?'
DD 'car! CAR mummy, big CAR! Ooh bus, look BUS! BUS!!' (Voice rising to deafening shriek so people cover their ears).
Me: 'ssh too loud'
DD: 'oh look mummy wheeeeee, WHEEEE' (stands on seat)
Me 'sit down let's look at your book'
DD 'I bouncing! Mummy look! Ooh hat! Red hat! HAAAT! Want hat!'
Me 'don't touch the lady's hat. Let's look at this book. Look it's a...'
DD 'cat! CAT! Bad cat, ooo noooo' (throws book into aisle) 'ooo NOOO'
(Has tantrum when restrained, everyone is glaring now!)

The tablet on mute doesn't work. I've tried. As soon as she's old enough not to rip them off we'll use headphones.

I'm afraid quiet electronic noise has become everyday life on public transport. I don't see it's much different to other irritating noise like talking, coughing, sniffing, tinny music escaping from earphones, people tapping feet or rustling bags.

Next thread. AIBU to think that people shouldn’t breathe within a 5 mile radius of anyone else.

You share this planet with everyone else. Give and take on all sides. This means that while you think your wishes should trump theirs, they see no reason why their wishes shouldn’t trump yours. And they’re right. Why should someone not be able to do something because it winds you up? What makes you so important? (A general ‘you’). All of these threads are the same whatever the subject. I don’t want someone else to do something because I don’t like it... Everyone can say that and think they’re right.

Rock Yes, that would be fine. If people on all sides did give and take. But I'm afraid that happens less and less with each passing decade. Because so many people now feel entitled. About all sorts of things. As long as "I'm all right, Jack" or "I don't care about anyone else as long as my kids are fine". It's not about one person's wishes trumping another's, it's about a decent balance and being considerate of the majority.

The issue with electronic noise is that it is intrusive and tinny and if you have ten small children all on devices within a few rows of you on a plane it's cacophonous. We didn't have tablets or smartphones when mine were small so we did the usual books, conversations, drawing. Nobody expects small children to be completely silent and everyone understands that most people are just doing their best.

Yes, you have to give and take, and nobody's rights trump anyone else's, but I think it's good to discourage antisocial behaviour and to think about the benefit of the majority. Having the volume on on electronic devices in public places is antisocial, as is talking very loudly on your mobile phone, talking very loudly full stop, eating odoriferous food, blocking the aisle on the bus etc. If you look at it in terms of cost-benefit, the benefit to one child (and their parent) is potentially to the cost of the 30 other people on the bus.

Unfortunately it's an extension of the 'my house my rules, my kid my rules, my rules my rules' culture which is deeply selfish.

We avoid public transport as DC would have a massive meltdown but I do play videos on my phone when necessary, I keep the volume low and it's much, much quieter than my DC having a meltdown.

We use it as a last resort, if toys, books or snacks aren't working and the screaming is starting I will put YouTube on to save a public meltdown but we have only had to use it in restaurants or cafes while waiting for food if the wait is too long or there was no bread served to eat while waiting and a few times in the car to calm down a tantrum distracting me from driving.

My DC is autistic and won't wear head phones, it can't be muted but it works okay on low volume,

This really does my head in. For years, I have been training DS to be quiet on public transport. If he plays games on my phone, the sounds are off. No compromise. We take card games, drawing stuff, three small toys, snacks, the lot.

Why oh why do people think it's okay to let their children watch shows or play games with sounds on??

I took dd aged 10 to London from Manchester for a couple of days last week. She was watching things on her kindle with headphones on with the sound really low. At one point I asked her to turn it down because not everyone wants to listen to it. There was a family sat near us with a similar aged dd she asked if she needed her headphones in and dad said 'no we're not sat in the quiet carriage' this girl and her brother listened to their tablets and ran up and down the train when the train stopped at stations they were walking out of the doors running along the platforms and then jumping back into other doors. I was praying the train would leave without them!

I often use my ipad to watch TV programs / films - with head phones so no noise issue - when on a train. I usually go for a table seat so I can have the ipad on the table whilst I knit.

On four occasions I've had the parent of kids who happen to be sitting next to me, ask me to change what I;'m watching as they didnt think the images were suitable for their kids to be able to see on my screen.

We're not talking porn hub or extreme violence - just 24, CSI type stuff.

On each occasions I politely told them to do one as it wasnt my problem. That is worse than tinny noise which I can put my own headphones on to avoid.

I found the voice of a woman reading out loud to her daughter far more intrusive than a game of candy crush on low this week. By the end of the forty minute bus journey I was fit to shred the book the woman was reading from. Just because something is wonderfully middle class and battery free doesn't mean it's any more acceptable.

Mind you, I have my own issues that so many people are so keen to be snide about, so there we go.

As a rule I'll always seek out the quietest space in a cafe or on a train. My children all have gadgetry of some sort but the rule is if it's on it's silent, regardless of being out or at home. I have mortified by teen in public by telling her that if she doesn't turn the volume of her iPod down so that the rest of the world can't hear it that I'll happily take it off her for the rest of the week.

I feel like electronic devices were the death knell of public transport. It's all going to be about the driverless car. Hell is other people's ipads

If it's on low, it's still too loud if other people can hear it

I disagree. If quiet talking is ok, why is quiet electronic noise different?

I think it's just that electronic noise in public is fairly new, so people aren't used to it yet and struggle to tune it out. Personally I find the noise of people's phones annoying (the electronic key sounds) and loud typing can be irritating too. I've seen adults watching tennis on laptops on the train- the repetitive thud of the ball gets on my nerves but not as much as loud conversations.

If you somebody asked me to put my toddler's tablet on mute I'd refuse. It's already on the quietest setting without being inaudible. Asking for complete silence is U! Would you ask people not to talk because their voices were bothering you?

If people are going to say not acceptable even with sn, they should accept that that child with sn may be very noisy in other ways. So as long as they don't complain about that....
Motobility has always been very difficult to get for children who are able to walk and unless a child has extreme behavioural difficulties, they won't get it.